Part 1
Giám khảo
Did you like going to parks as a child?
Thí sinh
Yes I did. When I was a child I usually umm, went to a park with my family members and I especially enjoyed playing on playground in this park. Yes, and wonderful moments in my life.
Giám khảo
Do you still like going to parks now?
Thí sinh
Yes I do currently I'm a student in India and I are usually go for a walk in a park nearby my campus with my classmates and it's a great way for me to relax and recharge after busy days of studying.
Giám khảo
Would you like to see more parks in your city?
Thí sinh
Yes, definitely I want to see more, uh, green spaces in cities because it's a good way, uh, to encourage, umm, many people to do exercise regularly and can improve the air quality in cities.
Giám khảo
Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?
Thí sinh
Uh, in the near future, I would like to visit, uh, the park in Vanara Sea. This place, uh, is not just about a historical site, but also a place with, uh, lots of trees. And you know what? A lot, especially deer. I can, oh, I would like to see, uh, deer at this park and I want to know more about.
Did you like going to parks as a child?
Điểm: 62.0Gợi ý: Cải thiện tính tự nhiên và cấu trúc câu: tránh tiếng ậm ừ (umm) và lặp ý không cần thiết; mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết hỗ trợ cụ thể (ví dụ trò chơi bạn thích, ai đi cùng). Giữ câu ngắn gọn (không quá 5 câu) và liên kết ý bằng từ nối đơn giản.
Ví dụ: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often visited a nearby park with my parents and siblings, and my favourite activity was playing on the swings and slides. Those afternoons were memorable because we would have picnics and laugh together.
Do you still like going to parks now?
Điểm: 70.0Gợi ý: Sửa ngữ pháp và sự mạch lạc: chú ý thì và chủ vị (ví dụ 'I usually go' thay vì 'I are usually go'); tách câu dài thành câu ngắn hơn và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (khi nào, trong bao lâu) để phong phú nội dung.
Ví dụ: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. As a student in India, I usually walk to a park near my campus with classmates in the evenings, and this routine helps me relax after several hours of studying.
Would you like to see more parks in your city?
Điểm: 68.0Gợi ý: Giảm lặp từ và tiếng lắp (uh, umm); dùng cấu trúc câu rõ ràng hơn và thêm ví dụ cụ thể về lợi ích (ví dụ chạy bộ, khu vui chơi cho trẻ em). Kết hợp liên từ để câu mạch lạc (for example, which helps...).
Ví dụ: Yes, definitely. I would like more green spaces in my city because parks encourage people to exercise, such as jogging or cycling, and they also help improve air quality and reduce pollution.
Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?
Điểm: 56.0Gợi ý: Loại bỏ tiếng lắp và làm rõ ý: giới thiệu công viên bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó nêu 2-3 chi tiết cụ thể (vị trí, đặc điểm nổi bật, lý do muốn đến). Tránh các câu chưa hoàn chỉnh; kết thúc bằng một câu hoàn chỉnh nói rõ mục đích khám phá.
Ví dụ: In the near future, I would like to visit Vanara Sea Park. It is both a historical site and a large woodland with many trees and wildlife, especially deer. I want to see the deer and learn more about the park's history and natural environment.
× Yes I did. When I was a child I usually umm, went to a park with my family members and I especially enjoyed playing on playground in this park. Yes, and wonderful moments in my life.
✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child I usually went to a park with my family and I especially enjoyed playing on the playground in that park. Those were wonderful moments in my life.
Sử dụng thì quá khứ cho hành động trong quá khứ là đúng, nhưng câu có lỗi trật tự từ và thiếu mạo từ. Thêm 'the' trước 'playground' vì đề cập một sân chơi cụ thể, thay 'on playground in this park' thành 'on the playground in that park'. 'Yes, and wonderful moments in my life' không hoàn chỉnh; chuyển thành 'Those were wonderful moments in my life' để câu hoàn chỉnh và rõ ràng.
× Yes I do currently I'm a student in India and I are usually go for a walk in a park nearby my campus with my classmates and it's a great way for me to relax and recharge after busy days of studying.
✓ Yes, I do. Currently I'm a student in India and I usually go for a walk in a park near my campus with my classmates, and it's a great way for me to relax and recharge after busy days of studying.
'I are' sai và phải là 'I am' hoặc loại bỏ 'are'. Cấu trúc 'usually go' không cần 'are' trước. 'Nearby my campus' không tự nhiên; dùng 'near my campus'. Câu cần dấu câu để chia mệnh đề. Sửa để đảm bảo chủ ngữ và động từ phù hợp và giới từ đúng.
× Yes, definitely I want to see more, uh, green spaces in cities because it's a good way, uh, to encourage, umm, many people to do exercise regularly and can improve the air quality in cities.
✓ Yes, definitely. I want to see more green spaces in cities because they're a good way to encourage many people to exercise regularly and they can improve the air quality in cities.
Vấn đề modal/động từ thiếu chủ ngữ cho mệnh đề sau 'and'. 'It's a good way' nên đồng nhất số với 'green spaces' hoặc dùng 'they're a good way'. 'to do exercise' chuyển thành 'to exercise' cho tự nhiên. Thêm chủ ngữ 'they' trước 'can improve' để rõ ý và chính xác ngữ pháp.
× Uh, in the near future, I would like to visit, uh, the park in Vanara Sea. This place, uh, is not just about a historical site, but also a place with, uh, lots of trees. And you know what? A lot, especially deer. I can, oh, I would like to see, uh, deer at this park and I want to know more about.
✓ In the near future, I would like to visit the park at Vanara Sea. This place is not just a historical site but also has lots of trees and many deer. I would like to see the deer in this park and learn more about them.
Cần cấu trúc rõ ràng cho thì tương lai/điều ước (would like). 'the park in Vanara Sea' sửa thành 'the park at Vanara Sea' hoặc 'in Vanara Sea' tùy địa điểm; 'at' hợp khi nói một địa điểm cụ thể. Câu 'A lot, especially deer' không hoàn chỉnh; chuyển thành 'many deer'. 'I can, oh, I would like to see' lộn xộn; giữ 'I would like to see the deer' để phù hợp. 'I want to know more about' thiếu tân ngữ; thêm 'them' hoặc 'about them'.