Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, avoid filler words (e.g., “umm”), correct grammar (past tense, plurals), and give one or two specific details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

Ví dụ: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My father used to take me to a small park next to my school every afternoon, where I played on swings and climbed on jungle gyms. Because of those regular visits, I felt very happy and active as a child.

Gợi ý: Answer directly and improve grammar and coherence. Use a clear topic sentence (yes/no), then add a specific reason and frequency using linking words (for example, because, however). Fix verb forms and articles.

Ví dụ: Not as much as before. Now that I am 19, I find parks less exciting, but I still go once or twice a week to relax after busy study periods because fresh air helps me concentrate.

Gợi ý: Be clear and avoid double negatives. State your opinion directly, then give a specific reason and a conditional statement if needed. Use correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., ‘there is no need’, ‘the government is willing to invest’).

Ví dụ: I don't think we need many more parks in my area because Melbourne already has plenty nearby. However, if the government decided to invest in new parks in underserved neighbourhoods, I would support it because it would improve local green space and community well-being.

Gợi ý: Give a clear topic sentence and correct grammar (use I don't have, I would like to visit). Provide specific reasons and link them logically. Mention one or two concrete features you want to see.

Ví dụ: I don't have a specific list yet, but I would love to visit the Adelaide Botanic Garden. I want to see its glass greenhouses and native plant collections because I’ve seen photos of rare plants and heard from friends that it has many bird species and peaceful walking paths.

× From my perspective, as I remember when I was a kid, I really liked to go to the park with my parents because normally, umm, whenever I got off from school, my dad normally bring me to the nearby park located next to my school.

✓ From my perspective, as I remember when I was a kid, I really liked to go to the park with my parents because normally, whenever I got off from school, my dad normally brought me to the nearby park next to my school.

The main verb describing a past habitual action should be in the past tense. 'Bring' is present tense but the context ('when I was a kid', 'got off') is past, so it should be 'brought'. Use consistent past tense for past routines. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs for past habits (e.g., 'brought').

× It was really fun. I had find that there's a lot of like equipment, a lot of playgrounds, a lot of stuff animal that I could write.

✓ It was really fun. I found that there were a lot of pieces of equipment, many playgrounds, and many play structures that I could use.

Multiple issues: 'had find' is incorrect verb form and tense; correct is 'found' (simple past). 'There's' (there is) mismatches plural nouns; use 'there were'. 'a lot of like' is informal and repetitive; use 'a lot of' or 'many'. 'stuff animal that I could write' is unclear and incorrect vocabulary; likely meant 'play structures that I could use'. Suggestion: Use simple past 'found', match 'there' with plural 'were', and choose precise nouns. Note: This correction addresses sentence structure, verb tense, and plural agreement.

× So I find that it is one of the.

✓ So I thought that it was one of the best places to play.

The original is an incomplete sentence and mixes present tense 'find' with past narrative. Complete the idea by using past tense 'thought' and finish the clause. Suggestion: Always finish sentences and keep tense consistent for narrations. (Addresses sentence fragment and tense consistency.)

× Well, I think I have already grown up a lot 'cause now I'm already 19. I don't find going to park is fun.

✓ Well, I think I have already grown up a lot because now I'm 19. I don't find going to the park fun.

'Going to park' lacks the article 'the' before 'park' when speaking about parks in general or a specific park; use 'the park'. Also 'is fun' is unnecessary after 'find'; natural phrasing is 'find ... fun'. Suggestion: Use definite article 'the' and concise construction 'find ... fun'.

× Beside I might go there once or twice a week as well.

✓ Besides, I might go there once or twice a week as well.

Use 'Besides' (with 's') as a sentence adverb meaning furthermore; also add a comma after it. 'Beside' means next to and is incorrect here. Suggestion: Use 'Besides' to add information.

× If I had time after a busiest schedule for my school work, I would prefer to go to the park for some.

✓ If I have time after a busy schedule of schoolwork, I prefer to go to the park for a while.

This conditional mixes forms awkwardly. If speaking about a current habit, use present conditional or simple present: 'If I have time... I prefer' or 'I would prefer' with 'if I had time' for unreal condition. 'a busiest schedule' is incorrect; use 'a busy schedule'. 'school work' should be 'schoolwork'. 'for some' is incomplete; use 'for a while'. Suggestion: Choose correct conditional structure and fix adjective forms and noun compounds.

× Well, I think that the city that I live, which is located in Melbourne, there's already lots of like parks surrounded by the area that I live in already.

✓ Well, I think that the city where I live, which is in Melbourne, already has many parks surrounding my area.

'The city that I live' is ungrammatical; use 'the city where I live'. 'There's' with 'lots of parks' should be 'there are' or rewrite to 'already has many parks'. 'Surrounded by the area that I live in' is awkward; use 'surrounding my area'. Remove redundant 'already'. Suggestion: Use 'where' for location, match verb number, and simplify phrasing.

× So I don't think there is no longer need to have more park.

✓ So I don't think there is a need for more parks anymore.

Original contains a double negative 'don't think there is no longer need' which reverses meaning. Also 'more park' needs plural 'parks' or 'a park'. Use 'a need for more parks' or 'parks anymore'. Suggestion: Avoid double negatives and ensure nouns match number.

× But if the government willing to implementing more money to invest in the park, I would have said that I agree to the way that the part will be created more surrounding the area.

✓ But if the government were willing to invest more money in parks, I would say that I agree with building more parks around the area.

Multiple modal and form errors: 'if the government willing' needs 'were willing' (subjunctive) or 'is willing'. 'to implementing' should be 'to invest' or 'in implementing' depending on structure. 'I would have said that I agree' mixes conditional forms; use 'I would say that I agree' or simply 'I agree'. 'the part' is a typo for 'the park' or 'parks'. 'will be created more surrounding the area' is awkward; use 'building more parks around the area'. Suggestion: Use correct conditional structure, base verb after 'to', and clearer noun forms.

× Well I hasn't got one in my list yet but if I had time to visit a park, one of my dream park is the Botanic Garden in Adelaide because I find that there's a lot of nature greenhouses, a lot of like animals, birds based on what I have seen from social media and plus from what I heard from my friend, they also told me that the Adelaide Botanic.

✓ Well, I haven't got one on my list yet, but if I had time to visit a park, one of my dream parks is the Adelaide Botanic Garden because I have seen many greenhouses, animals, and birds on social media, and my friends also told me about it.

'I hasn't' is incorrect; correct is 'I haven't' (subject-verb agreement and auxiliary). 'One of my dream park' needs plural 'parks'. 'I find that there's' should match plural with 'there are' or rephrase; here 'I have seen many...' is clearer. 'Based on what I have seen from social media and plus from what I heard from my friend' is wordy and ungrammatical; simplify to 'I have seen ... on social media, and my friends told me about it.' The final fragment 'they also told me that the Adelaide Botanic.' is incomplete. Suggestion: Fix auxiliary verbs, pluralize nouns, and simplify complex clauses.