Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you liked parks, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid fillers (umm, uh) and grammatical mistakes (use past tense consistently). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and use linking words like 'but' or 'however' to contrast ideas.

Ví dụ: No, I did not enjoy going to parks as a child. Although parks were free and convenient for my family, I often preferred staying home because we had limited time and responsibilities. However, I remember occasionally going for short walks when my parents had time.

Gợi ý: Clarify and organize ideas: begin with a clear affirmative sentence, then explain why with specific details (natural environment, facilities, trails). Use correct grammar (Australia has, well-developed) and reduce hesitations. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

Ví dụ: Yes, I do. Since I moved from Hong Kong to Australia, I enjoy visiting parks because the country has abundant natural areas and well-developed walking trails. For example, I often go to local reserves to hike and relax on weekends.

Gợi ý: Be specific and concise: answer directly then give a clear reason and one example of benefit (health, community, green space). Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for instance' and correct phrasing (we have many facilities).

Ví dụ: Yes, I would. More parks would improve residents' health and make urban areas friendlier. For instance, adding small green spaces near apartment blocks would give people places to exercise and meet neighbors.

Gợi ý: Be precise and use correct names: state one or two specific parks you want to visit and explain why, with brief supporting details. Avoid vague hesitations and unclear names (e.g., 'UMM Funeral Park' sounds wrong). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like 'for example' or 'because'.

Ví dụ: Yes, there are several. For example, I would like to visit Centennial Park in Sydney because it has large green lawns and walking paths ideal for picnics and photography. I also hope to see Royal National Park for its coastal walks and scenery.

× I didn't like going to parks as a child, umm, as I, uh, grow up in a, in a not really well, uh, wealthy family.

✓ I didn't like going to parks as a child, because I grew up in a not very wealthy family.

Student mixes past and present forms: 'grow up' should be past 'grew up' to match 'didn't like' and refer to childhood. Also 'not really well wealthy' is incorrect adjective/adverb order and choice; 'not very wealthy' is natural. Suggestion: keep verb tense consistent and use simple adjectives like 'very wealthy' or 'well-off'.

× So I think park is the easier access to us to, umm, enjoy, umm, the life there.

✓ So I think parks are the easiest way for us to enjoy life there.

Uses singular 'park' where general plural 'parks' is appropriate; 'easier access to us' is unnatural. Use plural and 'the easiest way for us to enjoy life there' for clarity. Also 'easier' should be superlative 'easiest' when implying primary option. Suggestion: use plural for general statements and proper noun phrases like 'the easiest way'.

× Yes I do umm 'cause umm, I moved from Hong Kong to Australia, umm, so I believe uh, Australia have full of natural environment and rich in umm, umm very well developed uh child.

✓ Yes I do, because I moved from Hong Kong to Australia, and I believe Australia is full of natural environments and has very well-developed children's facilities.

Subject-verb agreement: 'Australia have' should be 'Australia is' or 'Australia has'. 'Full of natural environment' is awkward; use 'full of natural environments' or 'has a lot of natural environment'. 'Rich in ... very well developed child' is ungrammatical—intended meaning seems to be 'well-developed facilities for children'. Suggestion: ensure subject and verb agree and use clear nouns like 'facilities' when talking about services for children.

× So I can enjoy umm going to the parks and like trial umm to.

✓ So I can enjoy going to the parks and going for walks there too.

Original mixes 'like trial to' which is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Enjoy going' is fine; to express doing activities use 'going for walks' or 'going on trails'. Suggestion: replace unclear phrase with common -ing activities like 'going for walks' or 'hiking on trails'.

× Umm, I'm living in Sydney now and I believe umm we have a lot of well developed and developing facility uh, combining the facility to urban and also the umm also the the.

✓ I'm living in Sydney now and I believe we have a lot of well-developed and developing facilities that combine urban infrastructure with green spaces.

Use plural 'facilities' not 'facility' when referring to many; 'well developed' needs a hyphen as 'well-developed' when used as adjective. 'Combining the facility to urban' is ungrammatical—use 'combine urban infrastructure with green spaces'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for multiple items, hyphenate compound adjectives, and use clear prepositions like 'with'.

× Yes, there's a lot of parks I would like to go in the future umm.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of parks I would like to visit in the future.

Subject-verb agreement with 'there is/there are': 'there's' (there is) is singular and should be 'there are' for plural 'parks'. Also use 'visit' instead of 'go' for clarity. Suggestion: match 'there is/are' to singular/plural nouns and use appropriate verbs like 'visit'.

× First of firstly I would like to go to UMM Funeral Park I believe is really good UMM.

✓ First of all, I would like to go to UMM Funeral Park because I believe it is really nice.

'First of firstly' is redundant; correct phrase is 'first of all'. The clause 'I would like to go to UMM Funeral Park I believe is really good' is a run-on and needs a conjunction or punctuation: use 'because' and 'it is'. Also 'really good' can be refined to 'really nice' or 'worth visiting'. Suggestion: use standard discourse markers like 'first of all' and connect clauses properly with conjunctions or punctuation.