Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Reduce repetition and hesitation, begin with a clear topic sentence, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep the answer concise (max 5 sentences) and avoid filler sounds like 'uh' or 'umm'.

Ví dụ: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were very entertaining and a break from studying. For example, I would study for an hour and then spend the afternoon on rides such as merry-go-rounds and swings, which made me feel happy and relaxed.

Gợi ý: Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid hesitations, and use linking words to connect reasons. Be more specific about how often you do the alternatives and what 'other stuff' means. Keep it within five sentences.

Ví dụ: Not really. As I have grown up, I prefer more active sports like badminton and basketball because they are more social and vigorous; for instance, I play badminton twice a week with friends. Therefore I rarely visit parks, except when I go for a walk with friends occasionally.

Gợi ý: Begin with a clear answer (Yes/No) and use linking words (for example, however) to explain. Avoid repetitive phrasing and be specific about what other developments you would prefer.

Ví dụ: No, I don't think we need more parks in my area because Navi Mumbai already has many green spaces. For example, my housing complex has three parks nearby, and there are additional parks on both sides of the neighborhood; instead, I would prefer more community facilities such as a sports complex or a library.

Gợi ý: Provide a direct topic sentence (Yes or No) and give a specific alternative activity you want to explore with a brief reason. Remove fillers and keep to a maximum of five sentences.

Ví dụ: No, not really; visiting parks is not a priority for me because I've already been to most nearby ones. Instead, I would like to explore new activities such as joining a local sports league or visiting cultural venues like museums to broaden my experiences.

× Yes, I really like going. Yes, I really like going to parks.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks.

The question asks about childhood (past). The student used present tense 'like' which mismatches the time reference. Use past tense 'liked' to agree with 'as a child'. Suggestion: change present verbs to past when describing past habits.

× As a child, I thought it was a very entertaining and fun time for me.

✓ As a child, I found it very entertaining and fun.

'Thought' is grammatical but less natural here; 'found' better matches description of feelings in the past. Also 'time for me' is redundant. Use simple past 'found' to state past feelings.

× I used to, uh, study for my exams for about one hour before I used to go down to the parks.

✓ I used to study for my exams for about one hour before I went down to the parks.

When describing past habitual actions, 'used to' is fine for the habitual part but should not repeat 'used to' before the second verb; use simple past 'went' after 'before'. Repeating 'used to' is redundant.

× There were a lot of umm, rides and there were a lot of like merry go rounds.

✓ There were a lot of rides and many merry-go-rounds.

'A lot of' is acceptable but repetitive; 'merry go rounds' should be hyphenated as 'merry-go-rounds' and pluralized correctly. Use 'many' to vary expression.

× So I used to, umm, play on that.

✓ So I used to play on them.

'Merry-go-rounds' is plural, so the pronoun must be plural: use 'them' not 'that'. Also omit filler words for clarity.

× I think as I've grown up, I do not enjoy going to the parks anymore.

✓ I think as I've grown up, I no longer enjoy going to parks.

Mixing 'do not' with present perfect context is awkward; 'no longer' fits better with present perfect 'I've grown up'. Also omit the definite article before 'parks' when speaking generally.

× I found better activities that engage myself in, like I go to play badminton or sometimes I go and play basketball.

✓ I found better activities that engage me, like playing badminton or basketball sometimes.

Use object pronoun 'me' after 'engage', not reflexive 'myself'. Also prefer gerund phrases 'playing badminton' to make sentence concise and natural.

× So uh, I don't think that I would prefer going to a park Now.

✓ So, I don't think I would prefer going to parks now.

'Now' should not be capitalized. Use plural 'parks' for general preference. The sentence is present conditional; keep 'would' but align noun number and capitalization.

× I spend my time with my friends while walking and doing other stuff.

✓ I spend my time with my friends walking and doing other things.

'While' is unnecessary here; 'walking and doing other things' is a more natural parallel structure. Replace informal 'stuff' with 'things'.

× The city I live in Navi Mumbai, we already have a lot of parks around us.

✓ In the city where I live, Navi Mumbai, we already have a lot of parks around us.

Original sentence is a run-on and misplaces the city name. Place 'Navi Mumbai' as an appositive and use a clear clause 'In the city where I live' to improve structure.

× I have around 3 parks in my society, 2 are very huge and 1 is a small park.

✓ I have around three parks in my society; two are very large and one is a small park.

Spell out small numbers in formal speech for clarity. Use 'large' instead of 'huge' for register. Use semicolon or separate sentences for clarity and maintain singular/plural agreement.

× And when I leave my society, there are two parks on the left and on the right.

✓ And when I leave my society, there are two parks on the left and two on the right.

Original could imply one on each side; if intention is two on each side clarify by repeating 'two on the right'. Maintain parallel structure.

× So I think there are enough parks that I'm surrounded with.

✓ So I think there are enough parks that I'm surrounded by.

Use 'surrounded by' rather than 'surrounded with'. 'Surrounded with' is nonstandard in this context.

× I would like to see more developments other than the parks.

✓ I would like to see other types of development besides parks.

'Developments other than the parks' is awkward. Use 'other types of development' and 'besides' for a more natural expression.

× I think umm going to a park in my future is not one of the things I think about because as I said, I live in Navi Mumbai and we have enough parks around us so I've been to most of the parks.

✓ I don't think going to a park in the future is something I think about because, as I said, I live in Navi Mumbai and we have enough parks, so I've been to most of them.

Reduce repetition of 'I think'; use 'I don't think' to be concise. 'In my future' is awkward; 'in the future' is natural. Replace 'most of the parks' with 'most of them' to avoid repetition and maintain cohesion.

× I think I would like to explore different areas of activities and fun.

✓ I think I would like to explore different kinds of activities and sources of fun.

'Areas of activities and fun' is awkward. Use 'different kinds of activities' and 'sources of fun' for clearer, more natural expression.