Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Clarify and correct grammar, remove repetitions, and make sentences concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Watch for tense and word order errors (e.g., “never school got out” should be “as soon as school got out”). Avoid filler repetition like “it was it was.”

Ví dụ: I loved going to parks as a child. There was a grassy park near my school, and as soon as school finished I would play there with my friends. Although there were few trees, the park had soccer goalposts, so we often played matches after class.

Gợi ý: Improve grammatical accuracy and pronoun use, and avoid informal fillers. Use a clear topic sentence then one or two linked details (contrast childhood and present). Correct errors like “they still enjoy” (should be “I still enjoy”) and awkward phrases (“beverage on my head” should be “a drink in my hand”).

Ví dụ: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, although not as much as when I was a child. Back then I went to play sports with friends, but now I usually go to relax—sit on a bench with a drink and enjoy the peaceful scenery.

Gợi ý: Good content and clear opinion; tighten language and avoid repetition of “I think.” Provide one or two specific reasons or examples and use linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example”).

Ví dụ: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces improve residents’ quality of life. For example, additional parks would provide safe places for families to exercise, children to play, and community events to take place.

Gợi ý: Polish vocabulary (Central Park, not New York Central Park), remove vague endings, and provide one or two concrete activities you’d do there. Use linking words to connect reasons.

Ví dụ: I would love to visit Central Park in New York. It seems like a quintessential New York experience: I want to stroll through the greenery, admire the lakes and sculptures, and try the snacks sold by vendors along the paths.

× There was a park near my school when I was younger and never school got out.

✓ There was a park near my school when I was younger and whenever school got out, I would go there.

The original sentence uses 'never school got out' which is ungrammatical. The intended meaning is 'whenever school got out' to indicate repeated events. This is a 'there be' context plus an adverbial clause; correction uses 'whenever' to show time and adds a main clause to complete the sentence. Suggestion: Use 'whenever' or 'when' for repeated past events and ensure the clause has a verb and subject (e.g., 'whenever school got out, I would go there').

× Whenever I got out of school, I would always play in it with my friends.

✓ Whenever I got out of school, I would always play in the park with my friends.

The pronoun 'it' is vague here; preferable to repeat the noun 'park' for clarity. This is a sentence structure and clarity issue. Suggestion: Replace ambiguous pronouns with specific nouns when the referent might be unclear.

× It was it was a grassy park.

✓ It was a grassy park.

The sentence repeats 'it was' twice, causing redundancy. This is a sentence structure/editing error. Suggestion: Remove duplicated words to make the sentence concise.

× There weren't a lot of trees around, but there were goal posts for soccer, so we played around a lot.

✓ There weren't a lot of trees around, but there were goal posts for soccer, so we played there a lot.

The phrase 'played around a lot' is informal and slightly unclear; 'played there a lot' clearly indicates location. This also improves sentence flow. Suggestion: Use clearer adverbial phrases to indicate location ('there') rather than 'around' which can imply activity.

× I would say that they still enjoy going to parks now, but not as much as I used to when I was a child, because when I was younger going to the parkment, I was going there to play.

✓ I would say that I still enjoy going to parks now, but not as much as I used to when I was a child, because when I was younger and went to the park, I went there to play.

The original uses 'they still enjoy' which mismatches the speaker 'I' leading to pronoun/subject-verb agreement errors. Also 'parkment' is not an English word; likely intended 'park' and the clause ordering is awkward. Suggestion: Match subject and verb ('I still enjoy'), correct 'parkment' to 'park', and use consistent past tense ('went').

× But now as an adult, I go to parks to simply relax, you know, sit down on a bench with a beverage on my head and just enjoy the scenery and the peacefulness of the place.

✓ But now as an adult, I go to parks to simply relax, you know, sit down on a bench with a beverage and just enjoy the scenery and peacefulness of the place.

The phrase 'with a beverage on my head' is incorrect preposition use and illogical; likely intended 'with a beverage' or 'with a beverage in hand'. This is a preposition/word choice error. Suggestion: Use 'with a beverage' or 'with a drink in my hand' to convey meaning correctly.

× So.

✓ (Omit fragment or complete the thought: 'So, that's why I still visit parks occasionally.' )

The single-word fragment 'So.' is an incomplete sentence with no verb or object. This is a sentence structure error. Suggestion: Either omit the fragment or complete the sentence to express the intended conclusion.

× I think the Philippines doesn't really put a lot of emphasis on green areas where people can simply sit down with their families and friends and enjoy peaceful activities.

✓ I think the Philippines don't really put a lot of emphasis on green areas where people can simply sit down with their families and friends and enjoy peaceful activities.

'The Philippines' is treated as a plural noun referring to the country composed of islands, so plural verb 'don't' is acceptable in variety of English; however, both 'doesn't' and 'don't' are used. Based on intended plurality, 'don't' matches 'the Philippines' as plural. Suggestion: Use consistent subject-verb agreement with country names that are plural in form ('the Philippines don't').

× I think that in my area specifically, we could use a lot more parks for activities such as these.

✓ I think that in my area specifically, we could use a lot more parks for activities like these.

This sentence is mostly correct; 'such as these' is less natural than 'like these'. This is a style/word choice issue related to participial usage. Suggestion: Use 'like' for more natural spoken English.

× My dream park to go to in the future is New York Central Park.

✓ My dream park to go to in the future is New York's Central Park.

The proper name is 'Central Park' in New York or 'New York's Central Park.' Including both 'New York' and 'Central Park' requires the possessive form or simply 'Central Park in New York.' This is an article/possessive/name usage issue. Suggestion: Say 'Central Park in New York' or 'New York's Central Park.'

× I feel like it is such a quintessential New Yorker experience and I want to be able to have that experience for myself.

✓ I feel like it is such a quintessential New York experience, and I want to have that experience for myself.

'New Yorker experience' is awkward; 'New York experience' is more natural. Also 'be able to have' is wordy; simplify to 'have.' This is sentence structure and word choice. Suggestion: Use concise phrasing and natural adjective forms.

× I want to stroll in the greenery, enjoy the scenes, as well as taste the little treats that they sell around the park and just general.

✓ I want to stroll in the greenery, enjoy the scenery, taste the little treats they sell around the park, and just relax.

Multiple issues: 'enjoy the scenes' is unnatural; 'enjoy the scenery' is correct. 'Just general' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Use parallel structure with verbs in base form or -ing consistently. This involves verb -ing usage and sentence completion. Suggestion: Use parallel verbs ('stroll,' 'enjoy,' 'taste,' 'relax') and correct noun choices ('scenery').