Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Your answer is generally natural and descriptive, but slightly long (four sentences is acceptable) and could be tightened for clarity. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating emotions (e.g., “loved” and “exhilarating”) without adding new information. Use a linking phrase to connect the ideas smoothly.

Ví dụ: Yes, I did. As a child I often went to a nearby park with my mother for morning walks, and my favorite part was swinging because it felt like flying. Also, I enjoyed meeting other children there, which made the visits social and fun.

Gợi ý: The response addresses the question but is wordy, uses awkward phrasing (e.g., “obsolete reason”), and repeats ideas. Keep it concise: state your current preference, give one clear reason, and finish with a brief conclusion. Use simple, accurate vocabulary and one linking phrase.

Ví dụ: No, not really. I’ve become more introverted and being around strangers drains my energy, so I usually prefer staying at home. Therefore I rarely go to parks anymore.

Gợi ý: Good content and clear opinion, but language is sometimes formal or imprecise (e.g., “fundamental appraisal,” “urban infrastructure” vaguely used). Make the topic sentence direct, give one or two specific benefits with plain vocabulary, and link them logically.

Ví dụ: Yes, I would. Parks increase nearby property values and, more importantly, give children safe places to play where they can develop social and physical skills. For these reasons, my city should build more parks.

Gợi ý: This answer is specific and relevant but contains small tense and cohesion issues. Use present tense to describe the park and link points with concise connectors. Combine short sentences to improve flow and avoid redundancy ("on top of that").

Ví dụ: Yes, I’d love to visit The High Line in New York someday. It’s a park built on an old railway line with many trees and planted areas, and it also offers views of several iconic New York buildings.

× I remember going to this park with my mother for morning walks all of my childhood.

✓ I remember going to this park with my mother for morning walks throughout my childhood.

Use 'throughout' instead of 'all of' for idiomatic expression; tense is present recollection of past habitual action, so keep 'remember going'. This fixes awkward phrasing and improves fluency.

× It was a nearby park and I loved the feeling of flying through the air on swings.

✓ It was a nearby park, and I loved the feeling of flying through the air on the swings.

Add 'the' before 'swings' because we refer to specific swings in that park. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. This corrects article/preposition usage and improves clarity.

× I also loved socializing with children of my age.

✓ I also loved socializing with children my age.

Use the idiomatic 'children my age' rather than 'children of my age'. This is more natural in English and fixes a prepositional awkwardness.

× Unfortunately, with time I have grown to be an introvert.

✓ Unfortunately, over time I have become more of an introvert.

Use 'over time' instead of 'with time' for natural phrasing, 'have become' is preferable to 'have grown to be', and 'more of an introvert' is idiomatic. This corrects tense/aspect and phrasing.

× I do not enjoy the company of other people.

✓ I do not enjoy the company of others.

'Others' is a more natural pronoun here than 'other people'. This is a stylistic/pronoun choice that improves conciseness.

× I feel a constant drain in my energy whenever I'm around strangers because of which most of the time I stay in my room until unless there is an obsolete reason because of which I had to get out.

✓ I feel a constant drain on my energy whenever I'm around strangers, so most of the time I stay in my room unless there is a good reason I have to go out.

Use 'drain on my energy' not 'drain in my energy'. Replace the awkward 'because of which' and double negative 'until unless' with 'so' and 'unless'. 'Obsolete reason' is incorrect—use 'good reason'. Change 'had to get out' to 'have to go out' to match present context. These changes fix preposition use, conjunctions, word choice, and tense consistency.

× So no, I do not enjoy being out there with nature.

✓ So no, I do not enjoy being out in nature.

Use the idiomatic 'out in nature' rather than 'out there with nature'. This corrects natural phrasing while keeping present tense.

× Parks add a fundamental appraisal not just to the property value of the surrounding buildings, but to the social and physical skills of the children as well.

✓ Parks add fundamental value not just to the property values of surrounding buildings, but also to children's social and physical development.

'Fundamental appraisal' is incorrect; use 'fundamental value'. 'Property value' should be pluralized as 'property values' or left singular with 'the surrounding buildings'—here plural is natural. 'Social and physical skills of the children' is awkward; 'children's social and physical development' is clearer. These changes fix word choice and adjective/noun collocation.

× They get to enjoy a time without worrying about the study or their security in parks, because of which I think my city should include more parks and urban infrastructure.

✓ They get to enjoy time without worrying about studying or their safety in parks, so I think my city should include more parks and urban infrastructure.

Remove 'a' before 'time' for natural phrasing, use 'studying' instead of 'the study', 'safety' instead of 'security' for personal safety, and replace 'because of which' with 'so' for clearer conjunction. These fix article use, verb form, word choice, and conjunction.

× I would love to visit New York's famous The Highline someday.

✓ I would love to visit New York's famous High Line someday.

Name correction: the park is called the 'High Line' (two words) and do not use 'The' after possessive 'New York's'. Keep conditional 'would love' for future desire. This corrects proper noun usage and word order.

× It was built in place of the existing abandoned railway lines.

✓ It was built in place of the existing abandoned railway line.

Use singular 'railway line' because the High Line replaced a single elevated rail structure; if plural intended, 'lines' could be correct but likely singular. Keep past passive 'was built' as it refers to a past event. This corrects number agreement.

× There were more trees and nature added alongside the area.

✓ More trees and natural features were added alongside the area.

Change word order to make a natural passive construction: 'More trees and natural features were added'. 'Nature' is vague—'natural features' is clearer. This fixes verb placement and noun choice.

× And on top of that, you can view some of the famous buildings of New York from that park.

✓ And on top of that, you can view some of New York's famous buildings from that park.

Use possessive 'New York's famous buildings' rather than 'the famous buildings of New York' for more natural English. Keep preposition 'from' appropriate for viewpoint. This corrects prepositional/possessive phrasing.