Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, because, so) correctly and reduce filler words and hesitations.

Ví dụ: Yes. I preferred indoor parks as a child because the Philippines is usually hot, so air-conditioned play areas were more comfortable. For example, I often went to indoor playgrounds where I could play safely without getting overheated.

Gợi ý: Give a clear direct response first, then briefly explain reasons with one linking word. Avoid vague phrases like “parks usually get old” and correct grammar (e.g., “these types of activities”).

Ví dụ: Not really — I prefer sports venues now. Since the quarantine I focused on fitness, so I usually go to basketball courts and the gym to stay healthy and active.

Gợi ý: Answer directly then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition (e.g., repeated word “bonding”) and hesitations. Use linking words like because or therefore to connect ideas.

Ví dụ: Yes, I would. Parks for children are important because they provide safe spaces for play and help families bond. For example, weekend visits can improve parent–child relationships and encourage children’s social skills.

Gợi ý: Be more concise and finish your thought. Start with a direct answer, then give one clear reason with an example. Avoid repeated words and trailing sentences.

Ví dụ: I would like to visit a skatepark because I find skateboarding fascinating and skillful. For example, watching experienced skaters perform tricks inspires me and shows the sport’s creativity and athleticism.

× In the Philippines the weather is usually hot, so when I was a child it was it was difficult for me to play outside.

✓ In the Philippines the weather is usually hot, so when I was a child it was difficult for me to play outside.

This sentence has a repeated phrase 'it was it was' (redundant repetition). Also the tense 'is usually hot' and 'was a child' are correct; remove the accidental duplicate to make the sentence grammatically correct and clear. Suggestion: read aloud to catch repeated words and edit them out.

× So I prefer parks that are indoors rather than outdoors since they are they are air conditioned which makes playing more easy and less hot.

✓ So I prefer indoor parks rather than outdoor ones since they are air-conditioned, which makes playing easier and less hot.

Multiple issues: repeated phrase 'they are they are' (redundant) and awkward adjective/adverb use 'more easy' should be the comparative adverb 'easier'. Use noun forms 'indoor parks' and 'outdoor ones' for brevity. Hyphenate 'air-conditioned' as a compound adjective. Suggestion: avoid word repetition and use correct comparative forms.

× As I get older parks usually get old and we have new hobbies such as sports or working out, running and I usually go to basketball parks or going to the gym since back in the quarantine days I used to be overweight so I prefer these type of activities.

✓ As I grew older, parks became less interesting and we developed new hobbies such as sports, working out, and running. I usually go to basketball courts or the gym. During quarantine I became overweight, so I prefer these types of activities.

Tense and structure: the student mixes present and past inconsistently. 'As I get older parks usually get old' should be past 'As I grew older, parks became less interesting.' 'Basketball parks' is incorrect; use 'basketball courts' or 'parks for basketball'. 'Going to basketball parks or going to the gym' is redundant; split into sentences for clarity. 'Back in the quarantine days I used to be overweight' should be 'During quarantine I became overweight' (past event). 'These type of activities' has quantifier/number agreement: use 'these types' or 'this type'. Suggestions: keep consistent tense for past experiences, choose correct nouns (court vs park), and match quantifiers.

× Although I'm older now, I think parks for child children, uh, are really helpful for, for recreational activities as well as bonding, bonding with parents, bonding with kids, bonding with your family.

✓ Although I'm older now, I think parks for children are really helpful for recreational activities as well as bonding with parents and family members.

Grammar issues: 'parks for child children' - double word and incorrect form; use plural 'children'. Repetition 'for, for' and 'bonding, bonding' are filler repetitions. 'Bonding with parents, bonding with kids, bonding with your family' is redundant; simplify to 'bonding with parents and family members.' Suggestion: remove filler words and repeated phrases, use correct noun forms and concise parallel structure.

× I believe this is a way to have a close relationship with one another and it's also a way of forming close relationships.

✓ I believe this helps people form close relationships with one another.

The sentence is repetitive ('a way to have a close relationship' and 'a way of forming close relationships' say the same thing). Combine into one concise sentence and use 'helps people form' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid tautology by merging similar ideas.

× If you let me go to any park, I will choose a skateboard park since skateboarding for me is is quite fascinating since it's a sport that takes a lot of talent to play in and I believe that skateboarding is one of the most beautiful sports out there, especially when kids or adults do it in front of you.

✓ If you let me go to any park, I will choose a skateboard park because skateboarding is quite fascinating to me; it is a sport that requires a lot of talent, and I believe it is one of the most impressive sports, especially when people perform in front of you.

Issues addressed: repeated 'is is' (remove duplicate), use 'because' instead of repeated 'since' for clarity, 'takes a lot of talent to play in' is awkward—use 'requires a lot of talent'. 'Most beautiful' is subjective but acceptable; 'impressive' is clearer. The sentence is long and run-on; break into clearer clauses or use punctuation. Suggestion: avoid repeated words, choose precise verbs, and break long sentences into manageable parts.