Hometown— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid vague phrasing like “a lot of scenes” and fix place names (Hyogo).

Ví dụ: I come from Himeji, a city in the southern part of Hyōgo Prefecture. It is famous for Himeji Castle, a well-preserved historic landmark, and local foods such as akashiyaki, a soft octopus dumpling similar to takoyaki.

Gợi ý: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence about what you like, even if memories are limited. Use linking words to explain why and give one specific memory or feeling to enrich your response.

Ví dụ: Although I only lived in Himeji until I was five, what I liked most was the feeling of safety in the neighborhood. For example, my strongest memory is playing in a small park near my mother’s house because the streets were quiet and the neighbors looked after one another.

Gợi ý: Give a clear, concise timeline as a topic sentence and then add one linking phrase to explain why you moved. Avoid repeating similar time expressions.

Ví dụ: I lived in Himeji for about five or six years after I was born, and then my family moved to the United States because of my father’s job, where I lived for about nine years.

Gợi ý: Be careful with accuracy of place names (Hyōgo) and avoid filler words like “uh.” State your opinion clearly, then give two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., because, furthermore).

Ví dụ: I don't think Himeji is ideal for young people because it is quite rural; therefore, there are fewer educational opportunities and limited entertainment options. For instance, there are no large shopping centers or cinemas, so young people often travel to nearby cities for activities.

× My hometown is Himeji which is located in the southern part of Hyogo Prefecture.

✓ My hometown is Himeji, which is located in the southern part of Hyogo Prefecture.

Missing comma before the nonrestrictive relative clause. This is punctuation rather than an article error, but under provided list it best matches article/punctuation issues (ID 22). Add a comma to separate the clause for clarity.

× It has a lot of scenes like Himeji castle and a lot of great food like takoyaki especially It's called Akashiyaki.

✓ It has many sights, such as Himeji Castle, and many great foods like takoyaki; in particular, a dish called Akashiyaki.

Use 'many' with countable nouns (sights, foods) instead of 'a lot of' for clarity. 'Scenes' is incorrect for tourist attractions; use 'sights'. Capitalize 'Castle'. The original sentence ran clauses together; separate and add connectors. 'It's called Akashiyaki' is informal and unclear; specify 'a dish called Akashiyaki.' This falls under adjective/adverb and word choice issues (ID 13).

× I don't have much memory about my hometown because I just lived there for about 5 years since I was born.

✓ I don't have many memories of my hometown because I only lived there for about five years after I was born.

'Memory' should be plural 'memories' for countable recollections. 'About 5 years since I was born' mixes present perfect sense incorrectly; use 'only lived there for about five years after I was born.' 'Just' better as 'only.' This is a present tense and count noun usage issue (ID 6).

× I was 5 or 6 when I left there, so all I remember is that I had two different houses, which is my mother's house and my father's house.

✓ I was five or six when I left, so all I remember is that I had two different homes: my mother's house and my father's house.

'Left there' can be shortened to 'left.' 'Houses' is fine but 'homes' sounds more natural. Use colon to list the two houses. 'Which is' is incorrect because it does not agree with the plural subject; use direct apposition. This matches pronoun/reference and structure issues (ID 12).

× I lived there for about 5 or 6 years since I was born until I moved away.

✓ I lived there for about five or six years from when I was born until I moved away.

'Since' is used with a point in time to indicate a continuing action up to now; here a duration is intended, so use 'from when' or 'from the time.' Also write numbers in words in formal speech. This is a past-tense/duration expression error (ID 5).

× After that we moved to the United States because of my father's job and I lived there for about 9 years.

✓ After that, we moved to the United States because of my father's job, and I lived there for about nine years.

Add commas for clarity and write numbers in words. Tense and sequence are fine; punctuation improves readability. Classified under past tense/punctuation (ID 5).

× I don't think it's a good place for young people because it's particularly, uh, rural part of Yoga prefecture, so education level is slightly below average of Japan and there's no entertainment.

✓ I don't think it's a good place for young people because it's a particularly rural part of Hyogo Prefecture, so the education level is slightly below the average in Japan and there isn't much entertainment.

Insert 'a' before 'particularly rural part.' Correct proper noun 'Hyogo.' Use 'the education level' and 'the average in Japan.' 'There's no entertainment' is too absolute; 'there isn't much entertainment' is more natural. This involves pronoun/article and preposition errors (ID 12 and 11); primary label is incorrect pronoun/article usage.