Science— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 sentences. For example, replace vague phrases like "boost my creative skill" with more precise expressions and correct tense/word order mistakes.

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy science because it helps me think creatively and understand the world. For example, science lessons encouraged me to test ideas rather than memorise facts, so I could grasp concepts from an early age. As a result, I still prefer learning by exploring and experimenting.

Sugestão: Give a clear, complete answer and avoid hesitations. Use a topic sentence with a time reference, then briefly explain why with specific details and correct grammar. Remove fillers and complete the final clause.

Exemplo: I started learning science formally in sixth grade. Before that, my aunt, who was a chemistry professor, taught me basic rules and principles at home, so I felt confident when school lessons began.

Sugestão: Be specific and accurate. State the subject clearly, then give a coherent example. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., "it's my own body" → "it relates to my own body"). Avoid fragmented speech and unclear phrases like "structure survival."

Exemplo: I find biology most interesting because it relates directly to the human body. For example, when my teacher explained how the immune system fights infections, I could relate it to personal health and better understand how organs and cells work together.

Sugestão: Organise your answer: state the activities, then give one specific example and result. Correct grammar (e.g., "create me a personally based diet plan" → "create a personalised diet plan for myself"). Use precise vocabulary like "patients" and "metabolic disorders."

Exemplo: I have applied scientific principles to design a personalised diet plan for myself and for patients with metabolic disorders. For instance, I calculated macronutrient ratios for a patient with insulin resistance, which helped improve their blood sugar control. I also learned cooking techniques like poaching to make low‑fat meals.

Sugestão: Keep the response brief and accurate. Start with a clear statement of preference, then explain why with a specific reason and a linking word. Correct names and noun forms (e.g., "National Geographic and Discovery").

Exemplo: I used to be a big fan of National Geographic and Discovery because their programmes explained scientific ideas clearly. However, now that I work in healthcare, I prefer short videos because they give concise explanations and fit better into my schedule.

Sugestão: Be concise and avoid hesitation. Begin with a direct statement about your experience, then give specific supporting evidence and use linking words. Correct plural and article usage (e.g., "a large number of science museums").

Exemplo: I haven't visited China, so I can't speak from personal experience. However, I have seen many videos online showing that China has a large number of science museums and that schools often run hands‑on programmes, so visiting museums seems quite common there.

× Yes, I enjoy science because it helps me to boost my creative skill as well as providing lots of information with evidence and research.

✓ Yes, I enjoy science because it helps me boost my creative skills as well as provides lots of information supported by evidence and research.

Parallel structure and noun pluralization: 'helps me to boost' can be 'helps me boost' and 'creative skill' should be plural 'creative skills'. Also maintain parallel verbs: 'helps me boost... as well as provides...' and clarify 'supported by evidence' instead of 'with evidence and research'.

× That's why this is subject was always fascinating me.

✓ That's why this subject was always fascinating to me.

Article and phrasing: 'this is subject' is incorrect; use 'this subject'. Also use 'fascinating to me' not 'fascinating me'. The auxiliary 'is' is unnecessary with 'was'.

× I never need to go for rote learning.

✓ I never needed to rely on rote learning.

Tense and verb choice: The context is past, so use past tense 'needed'. 'Go for rote learning' is unnatural; 'rely on rote learning' is idiomatic.

× I could understand the concept during my childhood day.

✓ I could understand concepts during my childhood days.

Plural and collocation: Use plural 'concepts' and 'childhood days' or better 'during my childhood'. 'Childhood day' is incorrect.

× Science was introduced to me at 6th grade and I was very strong at this subject.

✓ Science was introduced to me in 6th grade and I was very strong in this subject.

Preposition and collocation: Use 'in 6th grade' not 'at'. Also collocate 'strong in this subject' rather than 'strong at'.

× Uh, this is all because my aunt was a chemistry professor and she introduced me all rule and regulation as well as principle of, umm, many concept before I started learning uh, formally at the.

✓ This was because my aunt was a chemistry professor and she introduced me to all the rules and regulations as well as the principles of many concepts before I started learning formally at school.

Pronoun and article use: 'introduced me all rule' needs 'introduced me to all the rules'. Add definite articles 'the rules', 'the principles' and pluralize 'rule/regulation/principle/concept'. Add missing object 'school' after 'at'.

× Biology was always captivating my imagination because I can relate to, it's my own body.

✓ Biology always captivated my imagination because I could relate to it; it's about my own body.

Tense and pronoun: Keep past tense 'captivated' to match context. 'Relate to, it's my own body' needs 'relate to it' and clearer phrasing 'it's about my own body'.

× Uh, for example, when my professor is, uh, tutoring about, uh, hurt, I can feel and uh, develop, uh, immediately connection with it and uh, learning the structure survival.

✓ For example, when my professor was teaching about injuries, I could immediately feel and develop a connection with them and learn about their structure and function.

Verb tense and agreement: Use past tense 'was teaching' and 'could'. 'Tutoring about hurt' is incorrect; use 'teaching about injuries'. 'Develop immediately connection' needs article 'a connection'. 'Structure survival' is unclear—likely 'structure and function'.

× I have used scientific principle to create me a personally based diet plan and have been treating patient with metabolic disorder using these plan.

✓ I have used scientific principles to create a personally tailored diet plan for myself and have been treating patients with metabolic disorders using this plan.

Pluralization and articles: Use plural 'principles' and 'patients' and 'metabolic disorders'. 'Create me a personally based diet plan' -> 'create a personally tailored diet plan for myself'. 'These plan' should be 'this plan'.

× I also learned while free cooking techniques such as poaching so I can prepare healthy meals like poached egg without added fat.

✓ I also learned low-fat cooking techniques such as poaching so I could prepare healthy meals like poached eggs without added fat.

Word choice and tense: 'while free' seems intended as 'low-fat' or 'oil-free'; use 'low-fat'. Keep past tense 'could' to match earlier 'have been treating' or use consistent narrative. Plural 'poached eggs'.

× I used to be a huge fan of net geography and discovery because their fascinating presentation helped clear up doubt about scientific concepts.

✓ I used to be a huge fan of National Geographic and Discovery because their fascinating presentations helped clear up doubts about scientific concepts.

Proper nouns and pluralization: 'net geography' should be 'National Geographic'. 'Presentation' -> plural 'presentations' and 'doubt' -> 'doubts'.

× Nowadays as a healthcare professional, I prefer short video rather than long program because they give concise explanation and easier to fit in.

✓ Nowadays, as a healthcare professional, I prefer short videos rather than long programs because they give concise explanations and are easier to fit in.

Number and verb agreement: Use plural 'short videos' and 'long programs'. 'Give concise explanation' -> 'give concise explanations'. Add verb 'are' before 'easier to fit in'.

× I have never visited China so I cannot speak from personal experience, but I have seen many videos on Facebook and YouTube showing that China has large number of Science Museum and schools also run hands on program to connect children with science.

✓ I have never visited China, so I cannot speak from personal experience, but I have seen many videos on Facebook and YouTube showing that China has a large number of science museums and that schools also run hands-on programs to connect children with science.

Articles, pluralization and hyphenation: Add 'a' before 'large number', pluralize 'museums' and 'programs', hyphenate 'hands-on'. Also add conjunction 'that' for clarity.

× Uh so visiting Science Museum seems quite common there.

✓ So visiting science museums seems quite common there.

Capitalization and pluralization: Use lowercase 'science museums' and plural to match 'seems common there'. No -ing form issue beyond pluralization.