Science— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Improve grammar and concision: correct subject-verb agreement and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting example and a brief reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' appropriately.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. Science influences almost every part of our lives; for example, smartphones were developed through advances in science and technology. Because of that, I find science both fascinating and essential.

Sugestão: Fix factual/confusing details and sentence structure. Give a clear time reference and concise explanation. Use one or two sentences only and avoid contradictory age info.

Exemplo: I started learning science about 12 years ago, when I was in junior high school. I studied basic biology and chemistry at school, which helped me understand how nature and living things work.

Sugestão: Remove repetition and tighten sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail to explain why. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I find biology the most interesting subject because I have always loved animals. For example, learning about animal behavior and how ecosystems function really excites me.

Sugestão: Be concise and natural. State honestly what you have or haven't done, then briefly explain why and, if possible, mention a small safe activity or interest. Avoid repeating phrases.

Exemplo: I haven't done many hands-on science activities because I worried they might be risky for my health. However, I enjoy reading popular science articles and watching experiments on TV to learn safely.

Sugestão: Improve tense consistency and avoid repetition. Start with a clear statement, then give a concise specific reason and one example of what you enjoy watching.

Exemplo: Yes, I especially enjoy biology programs. I like watching shows about animals and plants because they explain ecosystems and animal behavior in an engaging way.

Sugestão: Avoid overgeneralization and unclear statements. Acknowledge uncertainty, then give a plausible reason or say you are not sure. Keep sentences short and accurate.

Exemplo: I'm not sure because I'm not from China and don't know many Chinese people. My guess is some students visit science museums to learn more, especially if it helps with school or exam preparation.

× Science influence more almost every part of our lives.

✓ Science influences almost every part of our lives.

Subject-verb agreement requires the singular noun 'Science' to take the third-person singular verb form 'influences'. Also 'more almost' is incorrect word order; use 'almost' before the phrase. Suggestion: use 'influences' and place 'almost' before the object phrase.'

× For example, smartphone was invented because of the development of science, technology and innovation.

✓ For example, the smartphone was invented because of the development of science, technology, and innovation.

Generic singular countable nouns like 'smartphone' need the definite article 'the' if referring to the concept in general. Also add the Oxford comma for clarity. Suggestion: use 'the smartphone' when referring to the device category.'

× So I find science very interesting and important.

✓ So I find science very interesting and important.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable in present tense to express a current opinion. No correction needed. (Included to indicate no change; keep present tense for ongoing opinion.)

× About 12 years ago, when I was 66 years old, a junior high school student, I learned the biology and chemistry at school, which helped me understand the nature.

✓ About 12 years ago, when I was a junior high school student of about 12 years old, I learned biology and chemistry at school, which helped me understand nature.

There is a mismatch between '12 years ago' and '66 years old' and awkward age placement. Use a consistent age expression like 'about 12 years old' and include the article 'a' before 'junior high school student'. Also drop 'the' before subjects 'biology and chemistry' and remove 'the' before 'nature'. Suggestion: ensure ages are consistent and omit articles before general school subjects and 'nature'.'

× What I found most interesting is biology because I always loved animals and animals and they are always around me and feel very familiar.

✓ What I find most interesting is biology because I have always loved animals; they are always around me and feel very familiar.

Tense inconsistency and repetition: use present tense 'find' to match 'is' and present perfect 'have always loved' to express a continuing preference. Remove duplicate 'animals' and combine clauses with a semicolon or conjunction. Suggestion: avoid repetition and keep tense consistent.'

× Especially I was excited to learn about animal behavior and how ecosystem works.

✓ Especially, I was excited to learn about animal behavior and how ecosystems work.

Use the plural 'ecosystems' or include 'the' before 'ecosystem' to be grammatical. Also add a comma after 'Especially' for clarity. Suggestion: match subject-verb number: 'ecosystems work' or 'how the ecosystem works'.'

× Actually, I haven't done with science because I was afraid to try new things with science because it might harm my body and mental health, so I have never done it before.

✓ Actually, I haven't done experiments with science because I was afraid to try new scientific things that might harm my physical or mental health, so I have never tried them before.

The phrase 'done with science' is incorrect; specify an action like 'done experiments with science'. Tense inconsistencies: use present perfect 'haven't done' and 'have never tried' consistently. Replace 'body and mental health' with 'physical or mental health' for clarity and parallelism. Suggestion: use precise verbs ('do experiments', 'try') and keep tenses consistent.'

× Yes, especially biology TV program.

✓ Yes, especially biology TV programs.

When speaking generally about programs, use plural 'programs'. If referring to a specific program, use 'the biology TV program'. Suggestion: choose plural for general preference or add 'the' for a specific show.'

× I loved animals and plants because they are always around me and feel very familiar and I could learn how ecosystem works and animal behavior, so it was really exciting to watch.

✓ I love animals and plants because they are always around me and feel very familiar, and I can learn how ecosystems work and about animal behavior, so it is really exciting to watch.

Mixing past and present tenses makes the sentence confusing. Use present tense 'love' and 'can learn' to express ongoing interest. Use plural 'ecosystems' or 'the ecosystem' and add 'about' before 'animal behavior'. Keep the result clause in present 'it is really exciting'. Suggestion: maintain present tense for general truths and interests.'

× I don't know because I'm not Chinese and I'm never had Chinese friend but I think they often visit because they need scientific knowledge for their university entrance exam which help them get better score.

✓ I don't know because I'm not Chinese and I've never had a Chinese friend, but I think they often visit because they need scientific knowledge for their university entrance exams, which help them get better scores.

'I'm never had' is incorrect; use present perfect 'I've never had'. Add articles: 'a Chinese friend'. 'University entrance exam' should be plural 'exams' and 'help them get better scores' needs plural 'scores' and 'help' agrees with plural 'exams' (or change to 'which helps them get a better score' if singular). Suggestion: use correct perfect tense, include articles, and ensure number agreement.'