Sharing— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid clichés like “Sharing is caring” and correct minor grammar (e.g., “my brother” → “my brothers” or “my brother” consistently).

Exemplo: Yes. My parents taught me to share because we were a poor family, so I often shared food and clothes with my brother. For example, we would divide meals when money was tight, which taught me to be considerate and resourceful.

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence and use correct grammar (avoid "use it"). Give one precise reason using a linking word like "because" and avoid repetition. Use singular/plural consistently.

Exemplo: I like to share items that are easily usable by anyone. For example, I often lend my laptop to my brothers because it’s a practical device they can use without affecting my work.

Sugestão: Begin with a topic sentence and give two specific examples with a linking word (e.g., "because"). Correct grammar ("you might get infected") and improve word choice ("personal items" instead of "private to the individual").

Exemplo: Personal hygiene items are not suitable for sharing because they can spread infection. For instance, I would never share my toothbrush or underwear with others.

Sugestão: Provide a clear, grammatically correct answer with a short sequence describing the actions. Use correct verb forms and tenses, and link ideas (e.g., "I lent... and I also lent...; they will return it later").

Exemplo: Yes. Recently I lent my brother some money, and I lent my laptop to my sister so she could use it for a week. They promised to return the money and the laptop after they finish using them.

Sugestão: Give a direct topic sentence naming one person, then mention others briefly. Correct grammar ("a few people", "share with them") and avoid redundancy. Explain why using a specific reason.

Exemplo: I would share good news with my wife first because she is my closest supporter. I would also tell my parents afterwards, since they always encourage me and celebrate my achievements.

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence and use parallel structure for the list (e.g., "graduating, getting a new job, and recovering from an illness"). Use correct tense and link with words like "for example" or "such as."

Exemplo: I usually share positive personal milestones with my friends, such as graduating, getting a new job, or recovering from an illness. For example, I told my friends when I finished university last year and when I started my current job.

× Yes, they did. We were a poor family, therefore we had to share many things with my brother, like some food, money and clothes.

✓ Yes, they did. We were a poor family; therefore we had to share many things with my brothers, such as food, money, and clothes.

Use plural 'brothers' if referring to more than one brother; use 'such as' for examples and add commas in a list. Also use a semicolon or period before 'therefore' for correct punctuation. Maintain past tense consistent with 'were' and 'had to'.

× Sharing is caring, so we learned so many things.

✓ Sharing is caring, so we learned many things.

The phrase 'learned so many things' is grammatically possible but 'so' is informal and redundant here. Removing 'so' makes the sentence clearer and more natural. Tense remains past 'learned'.

× I would like to share the things that anyone can use it.

✓ I would like to share things that anyone can use.

Do not repeat the object with 'it' after a clause that already contains an object. The relative clause 'that anyone can use' already modifies 'things', so 'it' is unnecessary and ungrammatical. Maintain modal 'would like' for preference.

× For example, I might share my laptop or my PC with my brothers because this thing is usable with anyone and it won't hurt me.

✓ For example, I might share my laptop or my PC with my brothers because these devices can be used by anyone and they won't cause me problems.

Use plural pronouns to agree with plural nouns: 'these devices' and 'they'. 'Usable with anyone' is awkward; 'can be used by anyone' is clearer. 'Won't hurt me' is idiomatic but 'won't cause me problems' is more natural in this context.

× There are things that are not suitable to be shared with others like my clothes, my toothbrush and the things that are so private to the individual.

✓ There are things that are not suitable to share with others, like my clothes, my toothbrush, and items that are very personal.

Use 'suitable to share' or 'suitable for sharing' rather than 'suitable to be shared'. 'So private to the individual' is awkward; 'very personal' is natural. Add commas for list clarity.

× Better to not share it with anyone because sometimes you might be get infected.

✓ It's better not to share them with anyone because sometimes you might get infected.

Use 'It's better not to...' for a complete structure. 'Share it' mismatches plural 'things'; use 'them'. Remove extra auxiliary 'be' in 'might be get infected' and use 'might get infected'.

× Yes I do. I lend my brother some money and I gave away my laptop to my sister to use it.

✓ Yes, I do. I lent my brother some money and I gave my laptop to my sister to use.

Use past tense 'lent' (past of 'lend') to match 'gave'. 'Gave away' implies permanent disposal; if intended to allow temporary use, 'gave' or 'lent' should be consistent. Remove redundant 'it' after 'use'.

× In return they will return to me later on they then using it.

✓ In return, they will return it to me later when they finish using it.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. Correct order: 'return it to me' and time clause 'when they finish using it' clarifies meaning. Use future 'will return' for the action.

× There are few people who I like to share good news with them.

✓ There are a few people with whom I like to share good news.

Use 'a few' to indicate some people. Avoid ending with redundant object 'with them' when 'with whom' already serves that role. Use formal 'with whom' or restructure as 'I like to share good news with a few people.'

× My parents and my wife, those people are my beloved ones and I like to share the good news with them because they care for me, so I need to share them.

✓ My parents and my wife are my loved ones, and I like to share good news with them because they care for me, so I want to share it with them.

Use 'loved ones' rather than 'beloved ones' (more natural). 'Share them' is incorrect because 'good news' is singular/uncountable and should be 'share it' or 'share news'. Clarify pronoun reference and use 'want' instead of 'need' if meaning is preference.

× I usually share things that are publicly known to others like graduating from university, earn a new job and sometimes if I was sick and I get healed I usually tell them.

✓ I usually share publicly known things, like graduating from university, getting a new job, and sometimes when I was sick and then recovered I tell them.

Use parallel verb forms: 'graduating', 'getting'. Replace 'earn a new job' with 'getting a new job'. Use 'when I was sick and then recovered' to express past event; keep tense consistent. 'Publicly known to others' is wordy; 'publicly known things' is clearer.