Sharing— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use clearer grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct vocabulary (e.g., "rewarded" not "put a reward for"). Avoid fillers like "uh" and aim for 3–4 sentences. Use linking words such as "for example" or "because" to make your response coherent.

Exemplo: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, they rewarded us when we donated clothes to poor families because they wanted to encourage generosity. As a result, I developed a habit of helping others and improved my character.

Sugestão: Answer directly about types of items you share and give clear, specific details. Use correct grammar and finish the sentence. Limit to 2–3 supporting sentences and use linking words like "for example" or "such as." Remove hesitations and unclear phrases.

Exemplo: I like to share clothes and shoes with others. For example, our city has a donation wall where people leave shoes they no longer fit. Sharing these items helps others and prevents waste.

Sugestão: Good idea but expand and be more precise. Start with a clear topic sentence and give two specific examples with brief reasons. Use linking words like "for example" and avoid informal words like "rubbish"—use "unsanitary items" or "broken objects."

Exemplo: Unsanitary or dangerous items should not be shared. For example, broken glass or spoiled food can hurt people or spread illness, and giving such things is not respectful to recipients.

Sugestão: Be grammatically correct and organize chronologically. Use one topic sentence, then specify recent and past actions with linking words like "recently" and "in the past." Avoid vague phrases like "so much money"—give an approximate amount or purpose.

Exemplo: Yes. Recently I donated money to a local orphanage to help with food and school supplies. A few years ago I donated many clothes, including some new items, and it made me feel very happy to help.

Sugestão: Clear and personal answer—make it more concise and vary vocabulary. Start directly, then give one or two supporting reasons with linking words like "because" or "since." Avoid repetition.

Exemplo: My mother. We are very close, and we talk about our days every evening, so she is the first person I want to tell when I have good news because she always supports and celebrates with me.

Sugestão: Make the response clearer and more grammatically correct. Begin with a topic sentence about types of news, then give two distinct categories with examples, using linking words like "usually" and "sometimes." Remove hesitations and informal phrases like "sad face."

Exemplo: I usually share positive news with my friends, such as achievements or when I reach a goal. Sometimes, when I'm feeling down, I talk about problems at work or things that upset me to get their support.

× Yes, of course they did. Uh, they put a reward for kinda donating with uh, to poor people or helping our friends.

✓ Yes, of course they did. They offered a reward for donating to poor people or helping our friends.

The original uses 'put a reward for kinda donating with... to poor people' which is ungrammatical and awkward. Use the past tense verb 'offered' (clear past action) and the verb 'donating' with the correct preposition 'to' (donating to people). Remove filler words like 'kinda' and 'with' that cause confusion. Suggestion: use clear verbs and correct prepositions (e.g., 'offered a reward for donating to...').

× Uh, this reward helped us to uh, improve our personality and characterism.

✓ This reward helped us improve our personalities and character.

'Personality and characterism' is incorrect. Use plural 'personalities' to match 'us' and the correct noun 'character' (not 'characterism'). Also remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helped us' (help + object + base verb). Suggestion: match plurality and use correct noun forms (personality -> personalities; characterism -> character).

× There is a wall in our city, uh, which we can put our, uh, umm, shares or shoes, uh, that we never use it again or, uh, by growing up, this size is our size, it gets different and.

✓ There is a wall in our city where we can put items or shoes that we no longer use because, as we grow, our size changes.

The original mixes clause types and has redundancy ('that we never use it again') and unclear phrases. Use 'There is' correctly with a relative clause 'where we can put...' Remove the redundant pronoun 'it' after 'that'. Replace 'by growing up, this size is our size, it gets different' with 'as we grow, our size changes.' Suggestion: combine clauses clearly and avoid redundant pronouns and awkward literal translations.

× Rubbish. I think, for example, you couldn't put a broken glass there because it's kind of disrespectful for other people and we couldn't name it as a donating.

✓ Rubbish. I think, for example, you shouldn't put broken glass there because it's dangerous and it would be disrespectful to other people, and we couldn't call that a donation.

Original uses 'couldn't' incorrectly for giving advice or prohibition. Use modal 'shouldn't' to advise against placing broken glass. 'Broken glass' is uncountable here (no article). 'Disrespectful for' should be 'disrespectful to.' 'Name it as a donating' is incorrect; use 'call that a donation.' Suggestion: use appropriate modals for advice and correct prepositions and noun forms.

× Yes, I do. Lately I share so much money to Orphan House.

✓ Yes, I do. Lately I have given a lot of money to the orphanage.

'Lately' requires present perfect ('have given') rather than simple present 'share.' 'Share so much money to' is ungrammatical: use 'given a lot of money to' or 'donated a lot of money to.' 'Orphan House' should be 'the orphanage.' Suggestion: use present perfect with 'lately' and correct verbs and article.

× However there was four or five years ago, I donate many of my clothes, my even my new clothes to this kind of people and I'm so happy for that.

✓ However, four or five years ago I donated many of my clothes, even some new ones, to those people, and I'm very happy about that.

Original mixes tenses and word order ('there was four or five years ago'). Use simple past 'donated' for a specific time in the past. 'Many of my clothes, my even my new clothes' is awkward; use 'many of my clothes, even some new ones.' 'This kind of people' should be 'those people.' Use 'happy about that' rather than 'for that.' Suggestion: place time expressions correctly and use past tense, correct determiners and prepositions.

× Absolutely my mother because we are so close with each other and every day we get along with each other. Talk about what happened in our day and how was it.

✓ Absolutely my mother because we are very close, and every day we talk about what happened in our day and how it was.

Remove redundant 'with each other' after 'close' and 'get along' is unnecessary here. Sentence fragments: 'Talk about...' should be connected to the subject 'we' ('we talk about...'). 'How was it' should be 'how it was.' Suggestion: avoid repetition of 'each other,' ensure each clause has a subject and use correct word order in subordinate clauses.

× Most of the time I share to my friends about my achievements, my uh, goal receiving, but when my uh, social mood is low, I will talk about uh, what happened today, uh, sad face or even what did my boss said to me.

✓ Most of the time I share with my friends about my achievements and goals, but when my mood is low, I talk about what happened that day, my sadness, or even what my boss said to me.

Use 'share with' not 'share to.' 'Goal receiving' is unclear; use 'goals.' Use consistent tense: 'I will talk' is inconsistent with present habitual; use 'I talk.' 'What did my boss said to me' mixes question word order and wrong tense; correct is 'what my boss said to me.' 'Sad face' is informal and unclear; use 'my sadness' or 'feeling sad.' Suggestion: use correct prepositions, maintain consistent tense for habitual actions, and correct subordinate clause word order.