Sharing— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: ปรับโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจน ใช้รูปแบบเริ่มด้วย topic sentence สั้นๆ แล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดที่เฉพาะเจาะจง ลดคำซ้ำ และแก้ไวยากรณ์ (เช่น parent → parents, spent → shared) รวมถึงใช้ linking word เช่น "for example" อย่างเป็นธรรมชาติ

Exemplo: Yes, my parents taught me to share. For example, when I was at school I often shared snacks like cookies and candy with my classmates, which helped me make friends and feel connected.

Sugestão: เขียนตอบให้ตรงประเด็นมากขึ้น เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ แล้วอธิบายด้วยเหตุผลและตัวอย่างที่ชัดเจน ใช้คำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้อง (belonging → belongings, spare → give) และหลีกเลี่ยงวลีไม่เป็นทางการ เช่น "OK"

Exemplo: It depends on the situation, but I usually share things that I can spare without causing any trouble, such as extra stationery or books. For instance, I often lend spare pens to classmates when they forget theirs.

Sugestão: ปรับประโยคให้ชัดเจนขึ้น เริ่มด้วย topic sentence ตามด้วยเหตุผลและตัวอย่างเฉพาะ ใช้ศัพท์ที่ถูกต้อง (privacy belonging → personal items, it's leak → they are leaked) และลดเสียงอ้อแอ้ (uh)

Exemplo: I think personal items are not suitable for sharing, especially things like my smartphone, bank cards or ID because they contain private information. If these items are lost or leaked, it could cause financial or identity problems.

Sugestão: ตอบให้กระชับและมีโครงสร้าง ใช้ linking word เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผล ระบุตัวอย่างที่ชัดเจน แก้ไวยากรณ์ (itinerary, request me → request it, belongings) และตัดคำเติม เช่น "umm"

Exemplo: Yes, recently I shared my travel itinerary with a colleague who asked for tips. I don't worry about sharing it because I still have copies and the information isn't sensitive.

Sugestão: ปรับให้ประโยคเริ่มด้วยคำตอบตรงๆและรวมประโยคสนับสนุนอย่างเป็นประโยคเดียว ใช้ tense ให้ถูกต้อง (When I get good news) และแก้ไวยากรณ์ (persons → person, share this news to → share it with)

Exemplo: The first person I would tell is my mother. When I receive good news, such as a scholarship or a promotion, I always share it with her because I want to make her proud and happy.

Sugestão: ทำให้ชัดเจนและเป็นระบบ ตอบตรงคำถามแล้วอธิบายความแตกต่างระหว่างกลุ่มคน ใช้คำที่เหมาะสม (coach friends → friends who are coaches, colleague → coworkers) และหลีกเลี่ยงประโยคคลุมเครือหรือคำศัพท์ไม่เหมาะสมเกี่ยวกับเรื่องละเอียดอ่อน เช่น national security โดยไม่ชัดเจน

Exemplo: It depends on who I'm talking to. I share general work-related updates with friends who are coaches, but I avoid discussing sensitive or classified information from my office with colleagues or anyone else.

× Of course, my parent encouraged me to share with others.

✓ Of course, my parents encouraged me to share with others.

The noun 'parent' should be plural 'parents' because the plural pronoun 'my parents' refers to both or more than one parent. Use plural to match meaning.

× For instance, when I was in school, I usually spent some desserts or candy to my friends.

✓ For instance, when I was in school, I usually shared some desserts or candy with my friends.

The verb 'spend' is incorrect here; 'shared' fits context. Also 'some desserts or candy' is fine but 'with my friends' requires preposition 'with' and plural 'friends' matches. Use 'share' for giving items to others.

× It depends on the situations, but I choose to share about the belonging that don't interrupt me or don't make me have the problem if I spare something to others, OK.

✓ It depends on the situation, but I choose to share belongings that don't inconvenience me or cause problems if I give them to others.

Use singular 'situation' for general statements. 'Belongings' is plural. Replace 'share about' with 'share' and 'don't interrupt me' with 'don't inconvenience me'. Use 'give them to others' instead of 'spare something to others'. Maintain subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions.

× For me, it's about my privacy belonging such as smartphone or card or ID cards because of it's, uh, my personal detail.

✓ For me, it's about private belongings such as my smartphone, cards, or ID because they contain my personal details.

Use 'private belongings' not 'privacy belonging'. Use plural 'cards' and include possessive 'my' for smartphone. 'It’s' is vague; use plural 'they' to refer to 'belongings'. 'Personal detail' should be plural 'personal details'.

× And I afraid that is if it's leak is, uh, maybe affect to me.

✓ And I'm afraid that if they leak, it might affect me.

Use 'I'm afraid' not 'I afraid'. Use plural pronoun 'they' for 'belongings'. Use correct verb forms: 'leak' (intransitive) and modal 'might affect me'. Remove extraneous 'is'.

× Of course, I usually share some itinerary to my friends or colleagues when they request to me, and then I'm not worried when I'm sharing because if it's not or they forgot I have umm, many belonging.

✓ Of course, I usually share my itinerary with friends or colleagues when they ask me, and I'm not worried when I share because if they don't have it or forget, I have many other belongings.

Use 'ask me' not 'request to me'. Use preposition 'with'. Replace 'itinerary to my friends' with 'my itinerary with friends'. Use 'if they don't have it' to express missing information. 'Many other belongings' clarifies meaning. Correct modal/tense usage.

× I choose the most important persons to me is my mother.

✓ The most important person to me is my mother.

Use singular 'person' with 'most important' and correct word order: subject 'The most important person to me' + verb 'is'. 'Persons' is formal and usually not used here.

× When I got the good news such as I got the scholarship or new opportunity in my workplace.

✓ When I get good news, such as receiving a scholarship or a new opportunity at work,

This subordinate clause should match tense with main clause; use present 'get' when describing habitual action. Use concise phrasing: 'receiving a scholarship' and 'a new opportunity at work'. Ensure clause is complete and connects to main sentence.

× I will share this news to my mother to make her happy and proud of.

✓ I will share this news with my mother to make her happy and proud of me.

Use 'share with' rather than 'share to'. Add object 'me' after 'proud of' to complete the phrase.

× It depends, if my coach friends I will share about the official news from my office because I work in the Government House.

✓ It depends. If they are close friends, I will share official news from my office because I work at the Government House.

Clarify 'coach friends' to 'close friends' (if intended) or 'coach' needs context. Use 'share official news' not 'share about'. Use preposition 'at' for workplaces: 'work at the Government House'.

× But if I share some new to my colleague it seem like the national security issue to discuss.

✓ But if I share some news with a colleague, it may seem like a national security issue to discuss.

Use 'news' not 'new'. Use 'with a colleague' for preposition. Correct subject-verb agreement: 'it may seem' and add article 'a' before 'national security issue'.