Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Answer directly, then explain why you did not ride the bike and when you learned. Reduce fillers such as “I mean, like,” and say “the bike sat unused in the garage” rather than “he just stayed in a garage unused.” Use “learned to ride it” for a natural ending.

Exemplo: Yes, I had a bike as a child, but I didn’t know how to ride it at first. My father was busy, so the bike sat unused in our garage. I finally learned to ride when I was a teenager.

Sugestão: Give a clear overall answer and organize your contrast with a linking phrase such as “although.” Replace “transfer” with “get around” or “commute,” and avoid the unclear ending “and all the people.” Add one specific detail about who uses bikes or why they use them.

Exemplo: I wouldn’t say bikes are very popular in my country, as most people prefer to drive their cars to get around. However, some people cycle for exercise or to avoid traffic, especially in busy city areas. Overall, though, cycling is less common than driving.

× I mean, like, he was so kind, but he was so busy, so he just stayed in a garage unused.

✓ I mean, he was kind, but he was very busy, so the bike just sat unused in the garage.

The pronoun he refers to the father, but the sentence means that the bike remained unused. Use it or name the bike as the subject. The correction also places unused after the verb phrase, where it clearly describes the bike.

× There are still some people that want to stay fit, so they would actually use it.

✓ There are still some people who want to stay fit, so they would actually use them.

The pronoun it does not agree in number with bikes, which is plural. Use them to refer to bikes. Who is also the more appropriate relative pronoun for people.

× But no, not overall and and all the people.

✓ No, bikes are not popular overall, although some people use them.

The original ends with an incomplete and unclear phrase, and the repeated and does not connect the ideas into a grammatical sentence. State the main idea in a complete clause and connect the contrasting idea with although.