Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 질문에 직접 답한 점은 좋지만, 문장이 지나치게 길고 문법적으로 불완전합니다. “as I love to have a bike”와 같이 문장을 중간에 끊지 말고, 과거의 경험이므로 “loved riding it”처럼 과거형을 사용하세요. 또한 “go around with my friends” 뒤에 구체적인 장소나 활동을 추가하고, “which was really fun” 대신 “so we had a lot of fun”처럼 자연스러운 표현을 사용하면 좋습니다.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. I had a bike when I was a child, and I loved riding it around my neighborhood with my friends. We often went to a nearby park, so it was a fun way to spend time together.

Sugestão: 자전거가 인기 있다는 의견과 이유를 제시한 점은 좋지만, “bikes”와 “bike”의 단복수 사용, “transportations”와 같은 표현이 부정확합니다. “use bikes as transportation” 또는 “cycle to school”이라고 표현하세요. 문장을 여러 개로 나누고, “For example”이나 “In addition” 같은 연결어를 사용하면 더 명확해집니다. 공원에서의 여가 활동과 학생들의 통학을 구체적인 예로 제시하면 내용도 더 효과적입니다.

Exemplo: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country. Many people ride them in parks for exercise and relaxation. In addition, some students cycle to school because it is convenient and inexpensive.

× Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child and really liked my bike as I love to. Have a bike and go around with my friends which was really fun that I enjoyed really much.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child, and I really liked it because I loved having a bike and going around with my friends. It was really fun, and I really enjoyed it.

The original response contains a sentence fragment in Have a bike and an incorrectly connected relative clause in which was really fun that I enjoyed really much. Connect the ideas with complete clauses and use a clear pronoun such as it to avoid repetition.

× Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child and really liked my bike as I love to.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child, and I really liked it because I loved having a bike.

The question asks about the student’s childhood, so the past tense loved is needed instead of the present tense love. Use the past tense consistently when describing past experiences.

× Have a bike and go around with my friends

✓ having a bike and going around with my friends

After loved, use gerunds to describe activities that the speaker enjoyed: loved having and going. The two verbs should also have parallel forms.

× I think bikes are really popular in my country because there are a lot of bikes out there that many people cycle around the park and use bike as transportations.

✓ I think bikes are really popular in my country because there are a lot of bikes, and many people use bikes as transportation.

The countable noun bike should be plural after the general expression many people use bikes. Transportation is normally an uncountable noun in this meaning, so it should not be pluralized.

× I think bikes are really popular in my country because there are a lot of bikes out there that many people cycle around the park and use bike as transportations that they usually when they usually go to, like for students, they go to school by bikes.

✓ I think bikes are really popular in my country because there are a lot of them, and many people cycle around parks and use bikes as transportation. For example, students usually ride their bikes to school.

The original sentence is a run-on with several incorrectly connected clauses, including that they usually when they usually go to and like for students. Separate the ideas into complete sentences and use for example to introduce a specific example.

× For students, they go to school by bikes.

✓ For example, students usually go to school by bike.

The phrase by bike is the standard expression for traveling by bicycle, so no article is used before bike. Also, students already functions as the subject, so the unnecessary pronoun they should be removed.