Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Clear topic but too long, with hesitations and some grammar errors. Improve by giving a concise topic sentence, one or two specific supporting details, use linking words, and correct tense/grammar. For example, say when you had the bike, why you had it, and one specific memory. Avoid filler words (uh) and unnecessary repetition.

Exemplo: Yes. I had my own bicycle when I was in first grade because my mother wanted me to play outside and stay active. For example, I used to ride with my childhood friends to the park every afternoon, which helped me become more confident and fit.

Sugestão: Answer is relevant but unclear and grammatically weak, and it ends abruptly. Improve by giving a clear opinion sentence, then two concise supporting reasons with linking words. Use specific vocabulary (terrain, commute, affordable) and finish the thought. Avoid vague phrases like "most of the base of flat surface."

Exemplo: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because the terrain is mostly flat and cycling is a cheap, efficient way to commute to work or college. In addition, many young men prefer motorcycles for convenience, but more women are choosing bikes for short trips and exercise.

× 'Yes, uh, when I was around Class 1 standard, I used to have my own bicycle 'cause my mom loves me to get in the ground and play sports.'

✓ 'Yes, uh, when I was in Class 1, I used to have my own bicycle because my mom loved me to go out and play sports.'

'Mixed past and present verbs: the sentence refers to a past time so verbs should be in past tense. "loves" should be "loved" and "to get in the ground" is incorrect idiom and grammar; use "to go out". Also simplify "around Class 1 standard" to "in Class 1" for natural English.'

× 'So she brought me this bicycle so that I can stay fit and hang around with my childhood friends if that's how I also love.'

✓ 'So she brought me this bicycle so that I could stay fit and hang out with my childhood friends, because I also enjoyed that.'

'Modal and tense consistency: the action is in the past, so use "could" instead of "can". "hang around" is acceptable but "hang out" is more natural. "if that's how I also love" is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with "because I also enjoyed that" to express past preference.'

× 'And yes, it is because our country is most of the base of flat surface so they prefer bike rides to commute further work and colleges as it's faster transportation.'

✓ 'Yes, it is because our country is mostly flat, so people prefer bicycles to commute to work and college since they are faster.'

'Incorrect present tense and wording: "most of the base of flat surface" is incorrect; use "mostly flat". "they prefer bike rides to commute further work and colleges" has wrong verb and noun forms; use "people prefer bicycles to commute to work and college". Also replace "as it's faster transportation" with "since they are faster" to match plural subject "bicycles/people'.

× 'So in our country most of the males are there for riding bikes but somehow the females are also'

✓ 'So in our country most males ride bikes, but some females do as well.'

'Awkward structure and plural agreement: "most of the males are there for riding bikes" is unidiomatic. Use "most males ride bikes". "somehow the females are also" is incomplete; use "some females do as well" to complete the idea and keep correct plural agreement.'