Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be careful with verb choice and sentence length. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb errors (use "rode" instead of "wrote" or "writing"), and avoid long run-on sentences by splitting into two concise sentences. Add a linking word when giving the memory to make it coherent (e.g., "also" or "after that"). Aim for more precise adjectives or brief details (e.g., bike color or your age) to enrich content.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. I had a small blue bike when I was about eight, but after a while one tire got punctured and we never repaired it. As a result, I stopped riding it. I remember riding around the neighborhood with my friends every afternoon.

Sugestão: Good structure and clear reasons, but improve vocabulary and precision. Replace awkward phrases (e.g., "other transportations") with correct forms ("other forms of transport"). Use a linking word to present reasons (e.g., "mainly because"), and vary vocabulary (e.g., "air pollution" instead of "quality of the air"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid filler like "and et cetera."

Exemplo: I don't think bikes are very popular in Indonesia, mainly because of heavy traffic and serious air pollution. For these reasons, most people prefer other forms of transport, such as cars or motorbikes, which are faster and more convenient.

× Yes I did. I had a bike when I was a child but after using it for a while one of the tires got punctured and we never repaired it so I stopped writing it.

✓ Yes, I did. I had a bike when I was a child, but after using it for a while one of the tires got punctured and we never repaired it, so I stopped riding it.

The sentence contains incorrect verb choice 'writing' instead of 'riding' which is a lexical error but affects the past-tense narrative. The rest of the sentence uses past tense correctly (had, got punctured, never repaired, stopped). Suggestion: replace 'writing' with 'riding' to match the intended action and maintain past tense consistency; also add commas for clarity.

× I remember writing it around the neighborhood with my friends every afternoon.

✓ I remember riding it around the neighborhood with my friends every afternoon.

The verb 'writing' is incorrectly used instead of the present participle 'riding' for the action of using a bicycle. Although 'remember' + -ing is grammatically acceptable, the wrong verb makes the sentence nonsensical. Suggestion: use 'riding' to convey the intended meaning.

× Unlike many European countries, my country Indonesia is not really bicycle friendly because of the quality of the air and the heavy traffic.

✓ Unlike many European countries, my country, Indonesia, is not really bicycle-friendly because of air quality and heavy traffic.

'Bicycle friendly' should be hyphenated when used as a compound adjective before a noun; 'the quality of the air' is wordy — 'air quality' is more natural. Also add commas to set off the appositive 'Indonesia'. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and prefer concise noun phrases like 'air quality'.

× That's why most people decide to use other transportations instead, like private vehicles like cars and et cetera.

✓ That's why most people decide to use other forms of transportation instead, such as private vehicles like cars, etc.

'Transportations' is incorrect pluralization — 'transportation' is an uncountable noun in this context. Using both 'like' twice and 'et cetera' is redundant. Suggestion: use 'other forms of transportation' or simply 'other transportation', and use 'such as' or 'for example' before examples; if using 'etc.' place a comma before it and avoid redundancy.