Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove filler sounds, and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Also fix tense/word choice (e.g., "I persuaded my parents" not "I backed"). Aim for 2–3 sentences, avoid repetition and fill words like "uh".

Exemplo: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I persuaded my parents to buy me a decent one because I wanted to stand out among my friends, so I often rode with them after school.

Sugestão: Give a clear direct answer then support with specific reasons using linking words and correct word forms. Remove fillers and correct phrases (e.g., "e-scooters" and "in my city"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and include a brief example or result.

Exemplo: They used to be popular, but not so much now. Nowadays many people use e-scooters in my city because they are cheaper and more convenient for short trips, so fewer people buy bicycles.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and it was actually a decent bike because I backed my parents to buy me a good bike because I really wanted to be outstanding among, uh, with my friend groups.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and it was actually a decent bike because I persuaded my parents to buy me a good one; I really wanted to stand out among my friends.

The phrase 'backed my parents to buy me' is incorrect for expressing that the student convinced their parents; the correct verb is 'persuaded' (past tense) to match the context. 'To be outstanding among, uh, with my friend groups' mixes prepositions and is ungrammatical; use 'stand out among my friends' for clarity. Also combine repeated 'bike' to 'one' to avoid redundancy. Suggestion: use 'persuaded' for influencing someone in the past and 'stand out among my friends' for the intended meaning.

× Umm, in the past, yes, but these days not really because, uh, there's a lot of E scooter uh, in my cities and it's more it's pretty cheap and it's more uh convenient to use it.

✓ Umm, in the past, yes, but these days not really because there are a lot of e-scooters in my city, and they are relatively cheap and more convenient to use.

Multiple present-tense and count noun issues: 'there's a lot of E scooter' incorrectly uses singular contraction and singular noun for a plural situation; use 'there are a lot of e-scooters'. 'in my cities' likely should be 'in my city' unless speaking of multiple cities; choose singular 'city' for consistency. 'it's more it's pretty cheap' is disfluent and mixes singular pronoun with plural subject; replace with 'they are relatively cheap' to agree with plural 'e-scooters'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement with plural nouns and avoid repetitions like 'it's more it's'.

× So I don't see a lot of people actually buy to get.

✓ So I don't see a lot of people actually buying them.

After expressions with 'don't see' to describe observing an action, use the -ing form (gerund) 'buying' rather than the base verb 'buy'. Also 'to get' is unnecessary and unidiomatic here; use the plural object 'them' to refer back to 'e-scooters'. Suggestion: use 'I don't see people doing something' -> 'I don't see a lot of people buying them.'