Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and repetition. Briefly state the situation, then add one specific supporting detail (e.g., how it affected you or what you did instead). Use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore' to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I didn’t have a bike as a child because my family couldn’t afford one. As a result, I often walked to school and sometimes borrowed a neighbor’s bike on weekends, which made me appreciate small treats more.

Sugestão: Give a clear opinion sentence, then support it with a specific reason or example. Remove hesitations and ambiguous phrasing. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'for example' to make your point coherent.

Exemplo: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and convenient for short trips. For example, many students and shopkeepers use bikes to travel to school or work, especially in crowded urban areas.

× I mean, financially my family were not able to afford me a buy, uh, a bike.

✓ I mean, financially my family was not able to afford to buy me a bike.

The subject 'my family' is treated as a singular collective noun in this context, so the verb should be 'was' rather than 'were' (subject-verb agreement). Also, the infinitive 'to buy' should follow 'afford' (not 'afford me a buy'). Improve by treating 'family' as singular and using the correct verb pattern: 'afford to buy someone something'.

× So I was very interested to have a bike, but unfortunately the family could not afford to have a bike.

✓ So I really wanted a bike, but unfortunately my family could not afford one.

'Interested to have' is unnatural; use 'wanted' for desire. Repeating 'have a bike' is redundant; replace with 'one'. Also 'the family' is better as 'my family' for clarity. Simplify the sentence to match natural English and correct collocations.

× Bicycles are very popular in my country and they are also, umm, cheap to afford.

✓ Bicycles are very popular in my country and they are also cheap.

'Cheap to afford' is awkward; 'cheap' alone suffices. 'Cheap' is an adjective modifying 'bicycles'. To indicate cost accessibility, say 'affordable' (an adjective) rather than 'cheap to afford'. Better: 'they are affordable' or 'they are cheap.'

× Everyone can afford if they're kind of financially, uh, stable and, uh, not.

✓ Everyone can afford them if they are financially stable, but not if they are not.

The original sentence lacks a clear object ('afford' requires what is being afforded) and ends with an incomplete contrast. Clarify by adding 'them' (referring to bicycles) and complete the contrast structure: 'if they are financially stable, but not if they are not.' Alternatively: 'Everyone can afford them if they are financially stable.'