Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Improve clarity and fluency: give a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation sounds, and use concise supporting details. For example, say you didn’t own a bike but used a bicycle for transport, then add one or two specific details (how often, where you rode it). Use linking words such as “however” or “instead” to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I didn’t own a motorbike as a child, but I did have a simple bicycle for getting around. For instance, I rode it to school every weekday and sometimes to visit friends on weekends, which helped me become more independent.

Sugestão: Work on coherence, reduce repetition, and add specific examples and linking words. Start with a clear opinion, then give reasons with concrete details and a brief comparison. Avoid repeating words and fill pauses. Use linking phrases like “because,” “moreover,” and “for example.”

Exemplo: I think bikes have become increasingly popular in my country because they are convenient for short trips and cheaper to run than cars. Moreover, many young people prefer sports motorcycles for style and speed; for example, in cities you can see groups of young riders at weekend gatherings despite these bikes being costly.

× In my childhood, I didn't have any bike, but I had my bicycle to, uh, for, uh, traveling purpose.

✓ In my childhood, I didn't have a bike, but I had my bicycle for travelling purposes.

Use of article and quantifier: 'any bike' is unnatural here; countable singular requires 'a bike'. 'My bicycle' is fine. 'to, uh, for, uh,' are filler words removed. Use the preposition 'for' with the noun phrase 'travelling purposes' (plural) to indicate purpose. Also prefer British spelling 'travelling' or 'traveling' consistently; choose one. Suggested improvement: say 'I didn't have a bike, but I had a bicycle for travelling purposes.'

× I often used it to go to my school or my or my classes.

✓ I often used it to go to my school or my classes.

Redundant repetition 'my or my' should be removed. The infinitive 'to go' is correct; no -ing form needed here. Keep the parallel nouns 'school' and 'classes' and remove extra words. Suggestion: speak clearly and avoid filler or repetitions.

× As far as I'm I am concerned, bikes are heavy bike bikes have become more popular from the past few years because they are more convenient.

✓ As far as I am concerned, bikes have become more popular over the past few years because they are more convenient.

Multiple issues: repetition 'I'm I am' and 'bike bikes' are errors from hesitation—remove repeats. 'Are heavy' is misplaced and unclear; if intended, it should be a separate clause. Use present perfect 'have become' with 'over the past few years' to indicate change up to now (not 'from'). 'Over the past few years' is the correct time expression. Suggestion: restructure the sentence and avoid repeating words when unsure.

× Besides this, the young generation are very fascinated about sports bikes, which are very, uh, which cost, which are very, uh, expensive.

✓ Besides this, the young generation is very fascinated by sports bikes, which are very expensive.

Subject-verb agreement: 'generation' is a collective noun and typically takes singular verb 'is' in this context. Preposition use: 'fascinated by' is the correct collocation (not 'about'). Remove fillers and broken clauses 'which are very, uh, which cost, which are very, uh'; keep concise 'which are very expensive.' Suggestion: treat 'generation' as singular and use the correct preposition 'fascinated by.'