Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and avoid fillers. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one clear reason with a linking word. Use varied vocabulary and correct grammar (e.g., avoid repeating phrases).

Exemplo: Not really. My parents did not allow me to have a bike because they were worried I might get injured. As a result, I rarely practiced cycling when I was young.

Sugestão: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion, then two specific reasons linked logically. Avoid vague phrases and repetition; use accurate vocabulary (e.g., "afford cars", "cost-effective"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Firstly, many people find bicycles or motorbikes more affordable than cars. Secondly, they are convenient for short trips in crowded cities. Therefore, cost and practicality make bikes a common choice.

× Not really, because my parents never allowed me to have a bike when I was a child as they were concerned about my, uh, my health.

✓ Not really, because my parents never allowed me to have a bike when I was a child, as they were concerned about my health.

The sentence repeats the pronoun 'my' unnecessarily ('my, uh, my health') which is redundant and interrupts fluency. Remove the extra 'my' and filler 'uh' to make the sentence grammatically correct and clearer. Also add a comma before the subordinate clause 'as they were concerned...' for correct punctuation and flow.

× Yeah, bikes are quite popular in my country as there are a lot of people who travel from bike only because of the money issue.

✓ Yeah, bikes are quite popular in my country because there are a lot of people who travel by bike only because of money issues.

'Travel from bike' is incorrect preposition use; the correct phrase is 'travel by bike' (preposition error). Also 'money issue' should be pluralized to 'money issues' for natural usage, and the clause order was improved by placing 'because' earlier. This correction addresses singular/plural nuance and preposition choice. Use 'travel by bike' and 'money issues'.

× As we know, there are so many family who can't afford the car and et cetera.

✓ As we know, there are so many families who can't afford a car, etc.

'Family' should be plural 'families' to agree with 'so many'. 'The car' is incorrect general reference; use 'a car' for general affordability. 'Et cetera' is better written as 'etc.' and should be used sparingly; here 'etc.' replaces additional examples. This fixes number agreement and article choice.

× But money is something which is very affordable and people like to travel from.

✓ But traveling by bike is inexpensive, and people prefer to travel that way.

The original 'money is something which is very affordable' is awkward and incorrect: money cannot be 'affordable'. Use 'inexpensive' to describe the mode of travel. 'Travel from' is incorrect preposition; use 'travel that way' or 'travel by bike'. Rewriting clarifies meaning and corrects adjective/adverb misuse and preposition error.