Study— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Correct basic grammar (singular/plural, verb forms) and streamline sentences to be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Avoid repetition of "preparing".

Exemplo: I’m a high school student and next year I’ll be in 12th grade. This is an important year because I’m preparing intensively for the university entrance exam, so I need to focus on subjects like maths, English and physics.

Sugestão: Use correct word order and articles, and make the reason concise. Provide one clear location statement, then one specific reason with correct grammar. Replace vague phrases like "the had a strong academic" with concrete descriptors.

Exemplo: I study at Donate Hamilton High School, which is in the Hamilton district near my street. I chose it because it’s close to home and has a strong academic reputation.

Sugestão: Make the opinion clear and avoid contradictory or unclear phrasing. Use correct nouns and adjectives (e.g., "students are hardworking" or "teachers are professional"). If mentioning a negative point, link it with a contrast word and give a brief example.

Exemplo: Personally, I think the school is a good place to study because the teachers are professional and the academic standards are high. However, some students misbehave, which occasionally affects the overall environment.

Sugestão: Use correct verb forms and reduce repetition. Start with a direct statement, then give a single, specific change and a brief reason using linking words (e.g., "because"). Avoid repeating words like "strict" and "rules" unnecessarily.

Exemplo: I generally like my school environment, but I would make the rules stricter because many students misbehave and current discipline is not enforced properly.

Sugestão: Remove filler words (e.g., "uh") and correct vocabulary and phrasing ("career" not "carrier"). Give a clear study goal, why you chose it, and one specific plan for gaining experience. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

Exemplo: In the future I’d like to enroll at my dream university to study real estate and property sales because I want to understand the housing market. I also plan to gain practical experience through internships so I can become a successful independent real estate agent.

× I'm currently a high school students and next years I will be in my 12th grade.

✓ I'm currently a high school student and next year I will be in my 12th grade.

The noun 'students' is plural but should be singular to match 'I'. Also 'next years' should be 'next year' because it refers to a single upcoming year. Ensure subject and noun number agree and use singular time expression when referring to one future year.

× I'm currently a high school students and next years I will be in my 12th grade.

✓ I'm currently a high school student and next year I will be in my 12th grade.

The phrase 'I will be' correctly uses future tense to describe a position next year, but 'next years' was incorrect. Use 'next year' with the future tense to indicate a single upcoming year.

× I'm preparing.

✓ I'm preparing.

No grammatical correction needed; present continuous 'I'm preparing' correctly describes an ongoing action.

× This is a very important year because I'm preparing intensively for the university entrance exam and I have to focus on subjects like maths, English or physics.

✓ This is a very important year because I'm preparing intensively for the university entrance exam and I have to focus on subjects like maths, English and physics.

Use 'and' not 'or' when listing multiple subjects that all need focus. The present continuous and modal 'have to' are appropriate for current obligations.

× I'm currently studying at a school in back my street and in Hamilton district.

✓ I'm currently studying at a school on my street in the Hamilton district.

Preposition 'in back my street' is incorrect. Use 'on my street' for location relative to a street. Include the definite article 'the' with 'Hamilton district' to specify the district.

× My school name is Donate Hamilton which is a very popular high school.

✓ My school's name is Donate Hamilton, which is a very popular high school.

The possessive form 'My school's name' is required rather than 'My school name'. Add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which is a very popular high school.' This clarifies the sentence structure.

× I chose this school because it's near my home and the had a strong academic.

✓ I chose this school because it's near my home and it has a strong academic record.

'The had' is incorrect; use the pronoun 'it' to refer to the school. 'Strong academic' is incomplete; use a noun like 'record' to complete the idea. Ensure correct pronoun reference and a complete noun phrase.

× Personally, I think this school is the ideal place to study because student has a high professionals, academics and the school helps us high standards in entrance but however the overall environment is not good because students are still like naughty and they.

✓ Personally, I think this school is an ideal place to study because students have high-quality teachers and strong academics, and the school helps us meet high standards for entrance; however, the overall environment is not good because some students are still naughty and misbehave.

Multiple issues: 'student has' should be 'students have' to agree in number. 'High professionals' is unclear—use 'high-quality teachers'. 'Helps us high standards in entrance' is ungrammatical; use 'helps us meet high standards for entrance'. 'But however' is redundant; choose one conjunction and use punctuation. End fragment 'they.' was incomplete—clarify as 'misbehave.' Ensure subject-verb agreement, proper noun phrases, conjunction use, and sentence completeness.

× I'm generally like my school environment, but if I have to change one thing, I think my school have to stricter, make the rules stricter because even the rules are there, but many students are behave are misbehaved, so I'm not satisfied with it.

✓ I generally like my school environment, but if I had to change one thing, I think my school should be stricter and make the rules stricter, because even though the rules are there, many students misbehave, so I'm not satisfied with the situation.

Use conditional 'if I had to' for hypothetical change. 'My school have to stricter' mixes modal and form incorrectly; use 'should be stricter' or 'needs to be stricter.' 'Even the rules are there' should be 'even though the rules are there.' 'Are behave are misbehaved' is incorrect; use 'many students misbehave.' Correct modal verbs and conditional structure, and fix redundancy and verb forms.

× I generally like my school environment, but if I have to change one thing, I think my school have to stricter, make the rules stricter because even the rules are there, but many students are behave are misbehaved, so I'm not satisfied with it.

✓ I generally like my school environment, but if I had to change one thing, I think my school should be stricter and make the rules stricter, because even though the rules are there, many students misbehave, so I'm not satisfied with the situation.

Pronoun and subject references were unclear; ensure 'my school' is followed by appropriate verbs and that 'it' refers clearly to 'the situation' if used. Also fix verb forms as noted.

× In the future, I would like to enroll at my dream university, uh, to study real estate, about property sale.

✓ In the future, I would like to enroll at my dream university to study real estate, focusing on property sales.

'Would like to enroll' correctly expresses future intention, but 'about property sale' is awkward; use 'focusing on property sales' or 'property sales' to make the study focus clear and grammatically correct.

× I want to learn about housing market and how to sell properties, because I hope to be a successful independent carrier as a real estate estate agent.

✓ I want to learn about the housing market and how to sell properties because I hope to have a successful independent career as a real estate agent.

Use 'the housing market' with the definite article. 'Carrier' is a misspelling of 'career.' 'Real estate estate agent' duplicates 'estate'; use 'real estate agent.' Also 'have a successful independent career' sounds natural. Fix article use, word choice, and redundancy.

× For example, I get into practical experience.

✓ For example, I want to gain practical experience.

'I get into practical experience' is ungrammatical and awkward. Use 'want to gain practical experience' or 'intend to gain practical experience' to express the goal. Correct verb choice and sentence structure.