Study— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (“being” used twice) and reduce filler. Use one or two supporting details (why you are excited). Keep it under 4 sentences and use linking words if adding reasons.

Exemplo: I am a student; this year I started 10th grade. I’m excited because I’ll soon begin high school, which I think will offer more opportunities for clubs and advanced classes.

Sugestão: Give a clear, grammatical answer: name the city and the type/name of school. Avoid pauses and fillers. If necessary add one brief detail about the school (location or type).

Exemplo: I study in my hometown, Almaty, at a neighbourhood public school called School No. 40. It’s close to my house, so I can walk there every day.

Sugestão: Be specific and correct grammar. State your opinion in a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concrete reasons (e.g., unqualified teachers, lack of resources) with linking words. Avoid insulting language; use neutral phrasing like “not well resourced.”

Exemplo: I don’t think it’s a good place to study. For example, the school lacks up-to-date textbooks and some teachers do not have enough training, so lessons are often unclear.

Sugestão: Answer directly and specify one or two realistic changes. Use conditionals correctly and avoid exaggeration. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give concrete improvements and a reason using linking words.

Exemplo: Yes, I would change several things. For instance, I would improve teacher training and upgrade the library so students have better resources for studying.

Sugestão: Give a clear plan: state the long-term goal and concrete steps you will take. Use linking words (for example, therefore) and correct grammar. Avoid vague expressions and filler. Mention specific actions (improve grades, prepare for exams, gain extracurricular experience).

Exemplo: I hope to study at a top university such as Harvard or Columbia. Therefore, I plan to improve my grades, prepare for standardized tests like the SAT, and take part in academic competitions and volunteer work to strengthen my application.

× Currently I am a student and in this year I am being a 10th grade student and I'm so excited because finally I'm going to being a high school student and in my opinion it is so fascinating and exciting.

✓ Currently I am a student, and this year I am a 10th-grade student. I'm so excited because I'm finally going to be a high school student, and in my opinion it is fascinating and exciting.

Errors: use of 'am being' and 'going to being' are incorrect present tense/continuous forms. Use simple present 'am' for states and 'going to be' for future intention. Also add hyphen in '10th-grade' and improve sentence flow with punctuation. Suggestion: Use 'I am a 10th-grade student' and 'going to be' for future formation. (Grammar problem type ID: 6)

× I'm studying in my hometown Almaty and general education uh in simple school UMM just called number UH-40.

✓ I'm studying in my hometown, Almaty, at a general education school called School No. 40.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'in' with 'general education' and awkward phrasing 'just called'. Use 'at' for attending a school and 'called' to name it. Also simplify 'School No. 40' for clarity. Suggestion: 'studying in my hometown, Almaty, at a general education school called School No. 40.' (Grammar problem type ID: 11)

× I don't think so because in my opinion my school umm, have really weak education and really umm, poor umm quality and uh, because my school is really simple and the teachers is really bad.

✓ I don't think so because, in my opinion, my school has a weak education and poor quality. My school is very basic, and the teachers are really bad.

Errors: 'my school have' should be 'my school has' (singular subject needs singular verb). 'The teachers is' should be 'teachers are' (plural). Also change 'really simple' to 'very basic' and adjust repetition. Suggestion: Ensure subject and verb agree in number and simplify redundant phrases. (Grammar problem type ID: 27)

× Actually, yes, because if I have an opportunity to change something in my school, I would like to change everything because I really don't like my school. But I don't have the other way and if I can did some do some changes, I do it.

✓ Actually, yes. If I had the opportunity to change something at my school, I would change many things because I really don't like it. However, I don't have that option, and if I could make some changes, I would do it.

Errors: conditional structure is mixed and incorrect ('if I have' vs 'would like', 'if I can did some do some changes'). Use second conditional for unreal present: 'If I had... I would...'. Replace awkward phrases 'the other way' with 'that option'. Suggestion: Use correct conditional verbs and consistent tense for unreal situations. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× Even now I'm starting at the simple and general education school.

✓ Right now I'm attending a basic general education school.

Errors: 'I'm starting at' is awkward and incorrect for current enrolment. Use 'I'm attending' or 'I'm studying at' to describe current ongoing study. 'Simple' is better as 'basic'. Suggestion: Use 'attending' for ongoing study and choose appropriate adjective. (Grammar problem type ID: 6)

× In the future, I would like to study at the top universities like Harvard, Yale and Columbia, and in my opinion, it is possible, But uh, to achieve this goal, I should work hard.

✓ In the future, I would like to study at top universities like Harvard, Yale, and Columbia. In my opinion it is possible, but to achieve this goal I should work hard.

Errors: capitalization 'But' mid-sentence and slight punctuation issues. 'Would like to study at the top universities' — article 'the' unnecessary when speaking generally. 'Should' is acceptable but 'will need to' may be stronger. Suggestion: Remove 'the', fix capitalization, and use clear connectors. (Grammar problem type ID: 4)