Study— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Make the response grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (I am a recent secondary school graduate) then add one brief detail about future plans. Avoid tense mismatch and redundant phrasing.

Exemplo: I am a recent secondary school graduate, and I plan to start university next year to study law.

Sugestão: Use correct prepositions and a natural word order. Provide a clear location and one short detail about the school. Keep it within two to three sentences maximum.

Exemplo: I studied at Good Hope School, which is located in Choi Hung, Hong Kong. It is a mid-sized school with strong academic and extracurricular programs.

Sugestão: Start with a direct opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons linked with a connective (e.g., because / and). Avoid repeating words like "really" and keep sentences concise.

Exemplo: Yes, it is. The scenic surroundings create a calm atmosphere for studying, and the school offers many clubs and programs that support students’ all-round development.

Sugestão: Provide a clear topic sentence and one or two specific changes with brief reasons. Correct grammar (e.g., "inconvenient") and avoid filler words like "ah". Use linking words to explain cause and effect.

Exemplo: Yes, I would change the location. Because the school is high on a hill, travel is inconvenient, so I would prefer it to be closer to a metro station to make commuting easier.

Sugestão: Give a concise topic sentence about your plans, then add one clear reason and a short future outcome. Remove fillers like "uh" and correct minor phrasing (e.g., "contribute to society").

Exemplo: I plan to study law at university and become a solicitor. I want this career because it allows me to help people in need and make a positive contribution to society.

× I currently graduated from secondary school and I'm planning to join the university in the coming year.

✓ I recently graduated from secondary school and I'm planning to join university in the coming year.

The verb 'graduated' indicates a past action; using 'currently' (which implies present) with a past tense is incorrect. 'Recently' correctly indicates a recent past event. Also 'join university' is more natural than 'join the university' in this context. Suggestion: use time adverbs that match the verb tense (e.g., 'recently graduated').

× I study in a secondary school named the Good Hope School, which is in Choi home of Hong Kong.

✓ I study at a secondary school called The Good Hope School, which is in Choi Hung in Hong Kong.

Use of preposition and place name is incorrect: 'in' vs 'at' and 'Choi home' is likely wrong. 'Study at' is correct collocation for institutions. Use 'called' for names and the place should be 'Choi Hung in Hong Kong'. Suggestion: use 'study at' for schools and check correct place names.

× I believe it's a really good place because the view outside is really beautiful, which provides a good atmosphere for us to study and at the same time the school supports our all round development and provides a lot of opportunities to develop our extracurricular activities.

✓ I believe it's a really good place because the view outside is beautiful, which provides a good atmosphere for studying; at the same time the school supports our all-round development and provides many opportunities to pursue extracurricular activities.

Redundant 'really' twice is stylistic but not grammar; main issues: 'for us to study' is wordy — use gerund 'for studying'. 'All round' should be hyphenated 'all-round'. 'A lot of opportunities to develop our extracurricular activities' is awkward: 'many opportunities to pursue extracurricular activities' is clearer. Suggestion: use concise phrasing and correct adjective forms and collocations.

× Ah definitely, because my school right now is on up on the mountain which makes transport a bit inconvenience and I hope that the school can be near the metro station so that it's easier for us.

✓ Ah definitely, because my school right now is up on the mountain, which makes transport a bit inconvenient, and I hope that the school could be closer to the metro station so that it's easier for us.

Errors: 'on up on the mountain' is redundant — use 'up on the mountain' or 'on the mountain'. 'Inconvenience' is a noun; the adjective 'inconvenient' is required. 'Can be near' is unnatural for a wish; use 'could be closer to' or 'would be nearer'. Suggestion: fix prepositions, use correct adjective forms, and choose appropriate modal for wishes.

× I plan to study for a law degree in the university, uh and train as a solicitor in the future because I believe that being a solicitor is a meaningful job which can help people in need and to contribute to the society.

✓ I plan to study for a law degree at university and train as a solicitor in the future because I believe that being a solicitor is a meaningful job that can help people in need and contribute to society.

Article and preposition issues: 'in the university' is better as 'at university' (no article) in British English. 'Which can help... and to contribute to the society' mixes structures and unnecessarily uses 'the' before 'society'. Use 'that can help people in need and contribute to society' — parallel structure and no article before 'society'. Suggestion: maintain parallel verb forms and omit unnecessary articles.