Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Câu trả lời có ý chính rõ ràng là em không có nhiều cơ hội tham gia hoạt động mới, nhưng có nhiều lỗi dùng từ và ngữ pháp. “Psych kid” không phù hợp với ngữ cảnh; em nên dùng “shy child” hoặc “introverted child”. Ngoài ra, nói “playing my iPad” chưa tự nhiên, nên đổi thành “playing games on my iPad”. Mối liên hệ giữa việc gia đình không giàu và việc em không giao tiếp với trẻ khác chưa rõ; em nên giải thích cụ thể rằng gia đình không đủ tiền cho các lớp học hoặc hoạt động ngoại khóa. Hãy trả lời trong khoảng 3 câu, sử dụng từ nối như “because” và “as a result” để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

Exemplo: Not really. I was quite a shy child, so I usually preferred playing games on my iPad rather than interacting with other children. Also, my family could not afford many extracurricular classes, so I had very few chances to try new activities.

Sugestão: Câu trả lời thể hiện quan điểm rõ ràng và có lý do, nhưng một số cách diễn đạt chưa tự nhiên. “People just live once” nên đổi thành “people only live once”, còn “use every opportunity they get from everywhere” nên rút gọn thành “take advantage of every opportunity”. Cụm “improve their job, their development” chưa chính xác; em có thể nói “develop useful skills” hoặc “improve their career prospects”. Hãy thêm một ví dụ cụ thể để phát triển ý, đồng thời tránh lặp từ “opportunity” và dùng từ nối như “for example” hoặc “as a result”.

Exemplo: Yes, definitely, because people only live once and should make the most of their opportunities. Trying different activities can help them develop useful skills and discover new interests. For example, learning a language or joining a sports club could improve both their confidence and their career prospects.

× I would say no because in the past I was a psych kid and I didn't want to interact with other kids except playing my iPad and I think the reason why I don't want to interact with them because my family was not really rich at that time.

✓ I would say no because in the past I was a psych kid, and I didn't want to interact with other kids except for playing on my iPad. I think the reason why I didn't want to interact with them was that my family was not really rich at that time.

The preposition on is needed after play when referring to an electronic device: play on my iPad. The expression except for is also more grammatically appropriate before a gerund phrase. Use play on a phone, play on a computer, and play on a tablet.

× I would say no because in the past I was a psych kid and I didn't want to interact with other kids except playing my iPad and I think the reason why I don't want to interact with them because my family was not really rich at that time.

✓ I would say no because in the past I was a psych kid, and I didn't want to interact with other kids except for playing on my iPad. I think the reason why I didn't want to interact with them was that my family was not really rich at that time.

The answer describes a situation in the past, as shown by in the past and at that time. Therefore, don't want must be changed to didn't want. Keep the tense consistent when describing past feelings or habits.

× I would say no because in the past I was a psych kid and I didn't want to interact with other kids except playing my iPad and I think the reason why I don't want to interact with them because my family was not really rich at that time.

✓ I would say no because in the past I was a psych kid, and I didn't want to interact with other kids except for playing on my iPad. I think the reason why I didn't want to interact with them was that my family was not really rich at that time.

The structure reason why ... because is incomplete here because the main clause is missing a linking verb. Use the pattern the reason why + subject + verb + was that + clause. For example, The reason why I was nervous was that I had little experience.

× Absolutely yes, because people just live once, so they need to use every opportunity, they get from everywhere so that they can improve their job, their development.

✓ Absolutely yes, because people just live once, so they need to use every opportunity they get from everywhere so that they can improve their job and their development.

The comma before they get incorrectly separates the noun phrase every opportunity from its relative clause. When a relative clause is essential to the meaning, do not use a comma: every opportunity they get. Also, use and to join two parallel objects: their job and their development.