Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Answer the question directly in the past tense because you are describing childhood experiences. Avoid repeated phrases such as “having an offer” and “opportunity,” and use accurate expressions such as “I was given the opportunity.” Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence, followed by one or two specific details. For example, explain what activity you did, what the event was, and how you felt about speaking in front of an audience. Check grammatical accuracy in phrases such as “give a speech,” “in front of a crowd,” and “the terrorist attacks in the United States.”

Exemplo: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities at school. For example, my teachers asked me to host events and give a speech about the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States. It was a little frightening to speak in front of a large crowd, but it helped me become more confident.

Sugestão: Give a clear opinion at the beginning, such as “Yes, I think people should try different things.” Then support it with two logically connected reasons, using linking words like “because,” “for example,” and “as a result.” Avoid repeating “try different things” and “do all those things,” and replace unclear phrases such as “grabbing knowledge regarding to then” with precise language like “gaining knowledge and discovering new interests.” Keep the answer to three or four concise sentences and use the correct structure “trying different things is a great way to…” rather than “to try different things is the great opportunity.”

Exemplo: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because it helps them discover their interests and develop useful skills. For example, someone might try cooking, a new sport, or learning a language and find a talent they did not know they had. In addition, new experiences can make people more confident and open-minded.

× Uh, yeah, I'm having a offer, having all such opportunities at the school when I, when I'm in school.

✓ Uh, yeah, I had all these opportunities at school when I was in school.

The question asks about the student's childhood, so the answer should use the past tense. Use had instead of am having and was instead of am.

× Uh, yeah, I'm having a offer, having all such opportunities at the school when I, when I'm in school.

✓ Uh, yeah, I had an opportunity to take part in these activities at school when I was a student.

Offer begins with a vowel sound, so it must be preceded by an, not a. Also, the original sentence is unclear because it uses offer and opportunities together. Use one clear noun phrase, such as an opportunity.

× At that time the teachers had told me to do anchoring and to give speech on the 912, uh, event of terrorist attack which was happened at America.

✓ At that time, the teachers told me to do some anchoring and give a speech about the 9/11 terrorist attack that happened in America.

Simple past, told, is appropriate for a completed event in the past. Past perfect, had told, is unnecessary here because no earlier past event is being contrasted with it.

× At that time the teachers had told me to do anchoring and to give speech on the 912, uh, event of terrorist attack which was happened at America.

✓ At that time, the teachers told me to do some anchoring and give a speech about the 9/11 terrorist attack that happened in America.

A singular countable noun such as speech needs an article. Use a speech, not give speech. The specific event also takes the definite article in the 9/11 terrorist attack.

× At that time the teachers had told me to do anchoring and to give speech on the 912, uh, event of terrorist attack which was happened at America.

✓ At that time, the teachers told me to do some anchoring and give a speech about the 9/11 terrorist attack that happened in America.

Use about or on after give a speech when introducing its topic. Use in with a country or geographical area, so in America is correct, not at America.

× At that time the teachers had told me to do anchoring and to give speech on the 912, uh, event of terrorist attack which was happened at America.

✓ At that time, the teachers told me to do some anchoring and give a speech about the 9/11 terrorist attack that happened in America.

Happen is an intransitive verb and does not normally take the passive form. Therefore, use that happened, not which was happened.

× Uh, that I considered is as, as it as an opportunity to give speech in all, in front of all the crowd.

✓ I considered it an opportunity to give a speech in front of the whole crowd.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and incorrectly connected clauses. Use the clear structure subject plus verb plus object plus complement: I considered it an opportunity.

× Uh, that I considered is as, as it as an opportunity to give speech in all, in front of all the crowd.

✓ I considered it an opportunity to give a speech in front of the whole crowd.

Use the object pronoun it after considered. That cannot function correctly in the original structure, and the repeated pronouns make the sentence unclear.

× Uh, that I considered is as, as it as an opportunity to give speech in all, in front of all the crowd.

✓ I considered it an opportunity to give a speech in front of the whole crowd.

Speech is a singular countable noun in this context, so it needs the article a. The phrase all the crowd is unnatural here; the whole crowd is the correct noun phrase.

× Yeah, in order to try different things and explore the world is the great opportunity and in order in order to do all those different things and grabbing knowledge regarding to then and exploring the things, you should learn, try to learn many things and you should really improve, help to improve yourself and try to do all those things.

✓ Trying different things and exploring the world is a great opportunity. In order to do these things and gain knowledge, you should try to learn many things, improve yourself, and take on new experiences.

The original sentence joins too many ideas without a clear structure. Divide it into two sentences and use parallel verb phrases: learn, improve, and take on.

× Yeah, in order to try different things and explore the world is the great opportunity and in order in order to do all those different things and grabbing knowledge regarding to then and exploring the things, you should learn, try to learn many things and you should really improve, help to improve yourself and try to do all those things.

✓ Trying different things and exploring the world is a great opportunity. In order to do these things and gain knowledge, you should try to learn many things, improve yourself, and take on new experiences.

Use the indefinite article a before a singular countable noun when it is mentioned generally. Therefore, say a great opportunity, not the great opportunity.

× Yeah, in order to try different things and explore the world is the great opportunity and in order in order to do all those different things and grabbing knowledge regarding to then and exploring the things, you should learn, try to learn many things and you should really improve, help to improve yourself and try to do all those things.

✓ Trying different things and exploring the world is a great opportunity. In order to do these things and gain knowledge, you should try to learn many things, improve yourself, and take on new experiences.

After in order to, use the base form of the verb. For parallel structure, use gain rather than grabbing: in order to do these things and gain knowledge.

× Yeah, in order to try different things and explore the world is the great opportunity and in order in order to do all those different things and grabbing knowledge regarding to then and exploring the things, you should learn, try to learn many things and you should really improve, help to improve yourself and try to do all those things.

✓ Trying different things and exploring the world is a great opportunity. In order to do these things and gain knowledge about them, you should try to learn many things, improve yourself, and take on new experiences.

Regarding to is not the correct prepositional phrase. Use about, or use regarding without to. In this sentence, about them is the clearest choice.