Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Answer the question directly and avoid repeating phrases such as “as a child” and “I took part in swimming.” Use more natural expressions, including “I took swimming lessons,” “it helped me develop my muscles,” and “I didn’t pursue it professionally.” Replace unclear phrases such as “I do not provide it” and “make it a pro level.” Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence followed by specific details about when you learned to swim and how you felt about the activity.

Exemplo: Yes, I had the opportunity to take swimming lessons when I was about eight years old. I enjoyed it because it helped me stay fit and taught me an important safety skill. Although I didn’t continue swimming professionally, I still remember the experience fondly.

Sugestão: Your main idea is clear, but the answer contains repetition of “hobby” and “interest” and some unnatural structures, such as “which hobby they have,” “which things do they enjoy,” and “grow yourself and hobby.” Use more precise expressions like “discover what they enjoy,” “develop new skills,” and “find activities that suit them.” Improve coherence by linking the ideas with “because,” “for example,” and “as a result,” and include one specific example to make the answer more effective.

Exemplo: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them discover what they genuinely enjoy. For example, someone might try cooking, photography, or a new sport and realize that they have a talent for it. Trying different things can also build confidence and help people develop useful skills.

× It was such activity that improved all over all your muscles and all.

✓ It was such an activity that improved all my muscles.

Use an before a singular countable noun, activity, after such. The pronoun your should be changed to my because the student is describing their own experience. Also, improved all my muscles is the grammatically correct structure.

× I took few lessons.

✓ I took a few lessons.

A few means some and is used with plural countable nouns such as lessons. Few without a is also grammatically possible, but it means not many and usually has a negative meaning.

× I did not make it a pro level, but I still participated in it.

✓ I did not reach a professional level, but I still participated in it.

The answer describes a past childhood experience, so the past tense is appropriate. Reach a professional level is the natural verb phrase for describing progress in an activity. Professional is more appropriate than the informal adjective pro in this context.

× It improved all over all your muscles.

✓ It improved all my muscles.

All over is not needed with the verb improve in this sentence. Use improved all my muscles to mean that swimming strengthened or benefited every muscle.

× They can get to know which hobby they have and which things do they enjoy doing the most.

✓ They can get to know which hobbies they have and which things they enjoy doing the most.

Because people may have more than one hobby, the plural form hobbies is more suitable. Also, an embedded question uses statement word order: which things they enjoy, not which things do they enjoy.

× They can get to know which hobby they have and which things do they enjoy doing the most.

✓ They can find out which hobbies they have and which things they enjoy doing the most.

After find out or get to know, an indirect question must use normal statement word order. Therefore, use which things they enjoy rather than which things do they enjoy.

× Even they can find things that interest them.

✓ They can even find things that interest them.

Even usually comes before the main verb or before the part of the sentence it emphasizes. In this sentence, it should come before find: They can even find.

× Once you find your hobby or your interest, you can work on that hobby and interest and you can grow yourself and hobby and your interest.

✓ Once they find their hobbies or interests, they can work on them and develop themselves and their interests.

The subject changes from people or they to you, so the pronouns should remain consistent. Use they and their throughout. Also, develop themselves and their interests is the correct reflexive and possessive structure; grow yourself and hobby is not grammatically correct.