Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: 질문에 직접 답한 점과 봉사활동이라는 구체적인 예를 든 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 ‘had too part’는 ‘took part’ 또는 ‘had the opportunity to take part’로 고쳐야 하며, ‘novel activities’는 이 문맥에서 다소 부자연스러우므로 ‘new activities’가 적절합니다. ‘volunteer’는 활동을 의미할 때 ‘volunteering’으로 사용하고, 과거 경험이므로 ‘when I volunteered’처럼 시제를 일관되게 맞추세요. 또한 ‘conundrums’와 ‘med problems’는 의미가 불분명하므로 ‘helped children with their homework’처럼 구체적이고 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요. 마지막으로 ‘very drilled’는 적절하지 않으며, 봉사활동을 통해 느낀 감정을 ‘I was thrilled’ 또는 ‘I found it rewarding’으로 표현할 수 있습니다.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. When I was in primary school, I had the opportunity to take part in a volunteering program. I helped younger children with their homework, and I found the experience very rewarding because I enjoyed supporting them.

Sugestão: 현재 답변은 문장이 완성되지 않았고, 질문에 대한 명확한 찬성 또는 반대 입장이 제시되지 않았습니다. ‘As a matter of fact’ 뒤에는 자신의 의견을 먼저 분명히 말하고, ‘current society prefers person’은 ‘society tends to value people’로 고치세요. ‘abandoned prowess’와 ‘abundant promise’는 이 문맥에서 의미가 부자연스러우므로 ‘relevant skills’와 ‘career opportunities’ 같은 표현을 사용해야 합니다. 한 가지 이유와 구체적인 예를 연결어로 설명하면 답변이 훨씬 효과적입니다. 예를 들어 ‘Yes, I think people should… because… For example…’과 같은 구조를 활용하고, 반드시 완전한 문장으로 마무리하세요.

Exemplo: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities whenever possible. Trying new things helps them discover their interests and develop useful skills, especially in areas such as technology and communication. For example, someone who joins a coding club may discover a passion for programming and gain skills that could help them in their future career.

× Yes, I had too part in novel activities when I was a pupil.

✓ Yes, I took part in two novel activities when I was a pupil.

The past-tense verb took is needed because the student is describing a finished experience in childhood. Too means excessively, while two is the number required before the plural noun activities.

× To be specific, the new activity was volunteer.

✓ To be specific, the new activity was volunteering.

After was, a gerund ending in -ing is needed to describe an activity. Volunteer is normally used as a noun or a base-form verb, so volunteering is the correct form here.

× When I volunteer, I help children to solve conundrums, such as med problems.

✓ When I volunteered, I helped children solve problems, such as medical problems.

Because the student is talking about a childhood experience, the verbs should be in the past tense: volunteered and helped. After help, the to-infinitive is possible, but the base form solve is more natural. Medical is the complete adjective form of med.

× Before entering primary school I had no chance to volunteer so I was very drilled when I volunteer.

✓ Before entering primary school, I had no chance to volunteer, so I was very excited when I volunteered.

Drilled means trained through repeated practice and does not express the intended feeling. Excited is the appropriate adjective. Volunteered is required because the sentence refers to a past experience.

× As a matter of fact, current society prefers person who has abandoned prowess such as computer or AI control ability.

✓ As a matter of fact, current society prefers a person who has developed skills such as computer or AI-control abilities.

The singular countable noun person requires the indefinite article a. The phrase developed skills is also more natural for describing abilities that someone has acquired. The article rule is the main grammatical correction.

× If you don't have abundant promise, you might be

✓ If you do not have sufficient skills, you might be at a disadvantage.

The original sentence is incomplete because might be needs a complement to finish the meaning. At a disadvantage completes the structure after be. In this context, sufficient skills is also a clearer expression than abundant promise.