Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Answer the question directly in the past tense and explain the situation clearly. Use “lived” instead of “live,” “many activities” instead of “much activities,” and “at home” instead of “on house.” Also, avoid the unclear phrase “as in India”; say “because my family and school were quite conservative.” Add one specific example of an activity you were unable to try, and use a linking word such as “because” or “as a result.”

Exemplo: No, I did not have many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my family and school were quite conservative. For example, I wanted to learn swimming, but my parents thought it was unnecessary and did not encourage me to take lessons. As a result, I mainly focused on my studies and stayed with familiar activities.

Sugestão: Give a clear opinion first, then provide one or two well-organized reasons. The answer is difficult to follow because of repetition and unnatural phrases such as “encourage our confidence,” “good as a human being,” and “show our strength, power.” Use natural expressions such as “build self-confidence,” “develop different skills,” and “discover their strengths.” Avoid repeating “so as to,” and include a specific example to make the response more effective.

Exemplo: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them build self-confidence and discover their strengths. For example, someone who tries a team sport may develop communication and leadership skills. Even if the activity is not suitable for them, they can learn from the experience and make better choices in the future.

× As a child, I live in a very conservative environment as in India.

✓ As a child, I lived in a very conservative environment in India.

The question asks about your childhood, so you should use the past tense. Change live to lived. The preposition in is also used before a country name to show location.

× They won't encourage much activities in school neither on house.

✓ They didn't encourage many activities at school or at home.

Because you are describing what happened during your childhood, use the past tense didn't encourage instead of won't encourage. Won't refers to the future.

× They won't encourage much activities in school neither on house.

✓ They didn't encourage many activities at school or at home.

Activities is a plural countable noun, so use many, not much. Use much with uncountable nouns, such as much time or much support.

× They won't encourage much activities in school neither on house.

✓ They didn't encourage many activities at school or at home.

Use at school and at home when referring to these general places. On house is not correct in this context.

× They won't encourage much activities in school neither on house.

✓ They didn't encourage many activities at school or at home.

Neither normally pairs with nor. Since the sentence is negative with didn't, use or to connect the two alternatives: at school or at home.

× So I find it very difficult for me.

✓ Therefore, I found it very difficult.

The sentence refers to your childhood experience, so the past-tense form found is needed instead of the present-tense form find.

× Yes, in my opinion they should try different things so as to encourage our confidence and in various fields so we can be good as a human being and show our strength, power and so as to be an individual who can do anything.

✓ Yes, in my opinion, people should try different things to build their confidence, develop skills in various fields, become well-rounded human beings, and discover their strengths and abilities.

The pronouns our, we, and our do not agree with the subject people. Use their and they, or avoid the pronouns by using general noun phrases. Keeping the pronouns consistent makes the sentence clearer.

× Yes, in my opinion they should try different things so as to encourage our confidence and in various fields so we can be good as a human being and show our strength, power and so as to be an individual who can do anything.

✓ Yes, in my opinion, people should try different things to build their confidence, develop skills in various fields, become well-rounded human beings, and discover their strengths and abilities.

The original sentence uses and several times without clearly connecting parallel ideas. Use a clear series of coordinated verbs: build, develop, become, and discover.

× Yes, in my opinion they should try different things so as to encourage our confidence and in various fields so we can be good as a human being and show our strength, power and so as to be an individual who can do anything.

✓ Yes, in my opinion, people should try different things to build their confidence, develop skills in various fields, become well-rounded human beings, and discover their strengths and abilities.

The original sentence contains too many ideas joined together, which makes its structure difficult to follow. Organize the answer around a clear subject and use parallel verb phrases. Also, use to build rather than the unnecessarily long so as to encourage.

× Yes, in my opinion they should try different things so as to encourage our confidence and in various fields so we can be good as a human being and show our strength, power and so as to be an individual who can do anything.

✓ Yes, in my opinion, people should try different things to build their confidence, develop skills in various fields, become well-rounded human beings, and discover their strengths and abilities.

The general subject people refers to more than one person, so use the plural expression human beings rather than the singular phrase a human being. The plural form also matches their strengths and abilities.