Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer responds directly and includes relevant examples, but the final sentence is incomplete, which affects fluency and effectiveness. Use more natural phrasing, such as “I was encouraged by my parents and teachers,” and use the plural “chess competitions” if you mean you took part in them more than once. You could also connect your examples more clearly with linking words such as “For instance” and “As a result.”

Exemplo: Definitely. I was an outgoing child, and my parents and teachers encouraged me to join extracurricular activities. For instance, I took part in school drama and chess competitions. These activities helped me relax, build confidence, and express my ideas more clearly.

Sugestão: You present a balanced opinion and use “whereas” effectively, but several phrases are grammatically inaccurate or unnatural. Say “It depends on people’s personalities and perspectives,” “feel comfortable in familiar situations,” and “others really enjoy adventurous activities.” Avoid the incorrect structure “and which help”; instead, say “which helps them become mentally stimulated” or, more naturally, “which keeps them mentally engaged.” Add a specific example to make your answer more developed.

Exemplo: It depends on people’s personalities and interests. Some people feel comfortable sticking to familiar activities, while others enjoy trying new and adventurous things. In my opinion, people should try different activities occasionally because this can help them develop new skills and become more mentally engaged. For example, someone who takes up a new sport may become more confident and disciplined.

× I was an outgoing child and mostly encouraged by parents as well as teachers to take part in extracurricular activities. For example, I participated in school drama and chess competition, which helped me to unwind and express my ideas fully.

✓ I was an outgoing child and was mostly encouraged by my parents and teachers to take part in extracurricular activities. For example, I participated in school drama and chess competitions, which helped me to unwind and express my ideas fully.

The plural noun competitions is needed because the sentence refers to participation in more than one type of competition or to competitions generally. Using the plural form makes the items in the list parallel.

× I was an outgoing child and mostly encouraged by parents as well as teachers to take part in extracurricular activities.

✓ I was an outgoing child and was mostly encouraged by my parents and teachers to take part in extracurricular activities.

The possessive determiner my is needed before parents because the speaker is referring to their own parents. The phrase my parents is more specific and grammatically complete than parents in this context.

× Moreover, I used to love being.

✓ Moreover, I used to love being involved in these activities.

Being cannot stand alone here because it needs a complement that explains what the speaker loved being. Adding involved in these activities completes the sentence and makes its meaning clear.

× Some people are really easy with their familiar situations so they don't try anything new.

✓ Some people are really comfortable with familiar situations, so they do not try anything new.

Easy is not the appropriate adjective in the expression easy with situations. Comfortable with is the natural collocation for describing people who feel relaxed or confident in familiar situations.

× Whereas another one really enjoy doing some adventurous activities so that they can face the challenges and which help them to be mentally stimulated.

✓ Whereas another person really enjoys doing adventurous activities so that they can face challenges, which helps them to stay mentally stimulated.

Another person is singular, so the present-tense verb must be enjoys, with the third-person singular ending. Remember to add s or es to a present-tense verb when its singular subject is he, she, it, or a singular noun.

× Whereas another one really enjoy doing some adventurous activities so that they can face the challenges and which help them to be mentally stimulated.

✓ Whereas another person really enjoys doing adventurous activities so that they can face challenges, which helps them to stay mentally stimulated.

Another one is less suitable because the sentence is referring to a type of person rather than replacing a clearly mentioned object. Another person is clearer. Also, they can be used as a gender-neutral pronoun to refer back to another person.

× Some people are really easy with their familiar situations so they don't try anything new, whereas another one really enjoy doing some adventurous activities so that they can face the challenges and which help them to be mentally stimulated.

✓ Some people are really comfortable with familiar situations, so they do not try anything new, whereas others enjoy doing adventurous activities because these activities help them face challenges and stay mentally stimulated.

The original sentence combines so that with the relative pronoun which in an unclear way. The revised version uses a clear contrast between some people and others and gives the reason with because. It also avoids an incomplete or confusing coordination structure.