Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Answer the question directly in the past tense and use a clear topic sentence. Correct the grammar in phrases such as “join the school activity,” “I have,” and “we go.” Use linking words such as “however” and “for example” to connect your main idea with specific details. Avoid the vague ending “and a lot of it”; instead, mention one or two activities clearly and explain how you felt about them.

Exemplo: I didn’t take part in many school activities because I was quite shy as a child. However, I had some memorable adventures with my family. For example, we travelled around several cities in the former Soviet Union and climbed a mountain together. These experiences helped me become more confident and adventurous.

Sugestão: Your answer is relevant and gives a reason, but improve the grammar and naturalness. Say “I strongly encourage people to try new things” rather than “I advise them,” and use “develop skills and gain experience” instead of “gain the skills.” Add a specific example or result to make your answer more developed, while keeping it to no more than five sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I think people should try a variety of new activities whenever possible. Trying different things helps them develop useful skills and gain valuable experience. For example, someone who joins a sports club may become more confident and learn how to work in a team. It can also help people discover interests they never knew they had.

× As a shy child, I didn't join the school activity but I have the memorable adventure with my family like we go in the journey around the Soviet cities and climbing big mountain and a lot of it.

✓ As a shy child, I didn't join school activities, but I had a memorable adventure with my family, such as going on a journey around Soviet cities, climbing a big mountain, and doing many other activities.

School activities is plural because the student is referring to activities in general, not one specific activity. Big mountain also needs an article, and many other activities is a clearer plural expression than a lot of it.

× As a shy child, I didn't join the school activity but I have the memorable adventure with my family like we go in the journey around the Soviet cities and climbing big mountain and a lot of it.

✓ As a shy child, I didn't join school activities, but I had a memorable adventure with my family, such as going on a journey around Soviet cities, climbing a big mountain, and doing many other activities.

The question asks about the student's childhood, so the answer should use the past tense. Have should be changed to had, and go should be changed to going as part of the parallel list after such as.

× As a shy child, I didn't join the school activity but I have the memorable adventure with my family like we go in the journey around the Soviet cities and climbing big mountain and a lot of it.

✓ As a shy child, I didn't join school activities, but I had a memorable adventure with my family, such as going on a journey around Soviet cities, climbing a big mountain, and doing many other activities.

The indefinite article a is needed before memorable adventure because this is one non-specific adventure. The article a is also needed before big mountain. School activities and Soviet cities are general plural nouns, so they do not need the definite article the.

× As a shy child, I didn't join the school activity but I have the memorable adventure with my family like we go in the journey around the Soviet cities and climbing big mountain and a lot of it.

✓ As a shy child, I didn't join school activities, but I had a memorable adventure with my family, such as going on a journey around Soviet cities, climbing a big mountain, and doing many other activities.

English uses go on a journey, not go in a journey. The preposition on is the appropriate preposition for participating in or traveling on a journey.

× As a shy child, I didn't join the school activity but I have the memorable adventure with my family like we go in the journey around the Soviet cities and climbing big mountain and a lot of it.

✓ As a shy child, I didn't join school activities, but I had a memorable adventure with my family, such as going on a journey around Soviet cities, climbing a big mountain, and doing many other activities.

After such as, use a noun or an -ing form. The activities should also be parallel: going, climbing, and doing. This makes the list grammatically consistent.

× As a shy child, I didn't join the school activity but I have the memorable adventure with my family like we go in the journey around the Soviet cities and climbing big mountain and a lot of it.

✓ As a shy child, I didn't join school activities, but I had a memorable adventure with my family, such as going on a journey around Soviet cities, climbing a big mountain, and doing many other activities.

The original sentence combines several ideas with like we go, climbing, and a lot of it, which makes the structure unclear. Use such as to introduce examples and keep all examples in a parallel -ing form.

× Yes I strongly advise them to try new things because the new things gain the skills and the experience.

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because trying new things helps them gain skills and experience.

New things cannot logically gain skills and experience. The sentence needs trying new things as the subject, and helps them gain clearly expresses that people develop skills and experience by trying new activities.

× Yes I strongly advise them to try new things because the new things gain the skills and the experience.

✓ Yes, I strongly advise people to try new things because trying new things helps them gain skills and experience.

When skills and experience are mentioned in a general sense, they do not normally take the definite article the. The phrase the new things is also unnecessary because the answer is referring to new things in general.