Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Reduce hesitation and redundancy, organize into a clear topic sentence followed by concise supporting details, and use varied vocabulary. Aim for 2–4 fluent sentences with linking words (for example, “In addition,” or “Also”) and avoid filler sounds like “umm” or repeated connectors. Provide one short specific detail for each activity (when, how long, what you gained).

Exemplo: Yes — I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I attended swimming lessons from ages seven to ten, which helped me become confident in the water. In addition, I joined a volleyball club for two years and learned teamwork and discipline.

Sugestão: Make the response direct and cohesive: start with a clear opinion, then give 2–3 specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “Firstly,” “However,” “Therefore”). Avoid long hesitations and fragmented clauses. Clarify the contrast between childhood exploration and later specialization with a brief example or consequence.

Exemplo: I think people should try many different things when they are children because exploration helps them discover interests and develop basic skills. For instance, trying sports, music and art can reveal strengths and build confidence. However, as adults it is often better to focus on fewer activities to become more skilled.

× Yes, I guess I had a plenty.

✓ Yes, I guess I had plenty.

The phrase 'a plenty' is incorrect because 'plenty' as a quantifier does not require the indefinite article 'a'. Use 'plenty' alone to indicate a large amount. To improve, remove 'a' or use 'a lot'/'a plenty of' is wrong; correct forms: 'plenty' or 'a lot' or 'plenty of activities'.

× I used to umm, go to swimming class and learn how to swim and it was amazing.

✓ I used to go to swimming classes and learn how to swim, and it was amazing.

'Swimming class' should be plural 'swimming classes' when referring to regular attended lessons. 'Used to' correctly indicates past habitual action; keep base verbs 'go' and 'learn'. Improve by pluralizing 'class' and adding a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity.

× And also I signed up for umm, a volleyball class and umm, that was very productive and uh, perfect.

✓ I also signed up for a volleyball class, and that was very productive and perfect.

Sentence is mostly correct, but beginning 'And also' is redundant; 'I also' is more natural. Add commas for clarity. No article error in 'a volleyball class' but streamline phrasing for fluency.

× When they're child, it's OK because I remember I had the, this question in my mind when I was a child that, uh, is it OK for me to do all these things all together and, uh, never be so professional in any of them.

✓ When they're children, it's OK because I remember I had this question in my mind when I was a child: is it OK for me to do all these things together and never become very professional in any of them?

'They're child' is incorrect pronoun-number agreement; use 'they're children' or 'you are a child'. 'All together' should be 'together' for 'at the same time'. 'Be so professional' is awkward; 'become very professional' is clearer. Use a colon or question formatting to indicate the remembered question. Ensure agreement between plural 'they' and 'children'.

× And, uh, I ask, uh, a professional and they said when you're a child, it's completely fine.

✓ And I asked a professional, and they said when you're a child, it's completely fine.

Mix of present and past: 'I ask' should be past 'I asked' to match 'they said'. Keep 'you're' for reported speech; tense sequence is acceptable because the professional's statement is general. Use past tense for the student's action.

× But when you're get older.

✓ But when you get older, it's different.

'When you're get older' is ungrammatical: 'you're' (you are) should not be followed by 'get'. Use 'when you get older' or 'when you're older'. Also the original fragment lacks a main clause; add 'it's different' or complete thought to finish the sentence. Improve by choosing one correct form and completing the sentence.