Opportunities— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct past tense and articles, limit to 2–4 sentences, and add one specific detail. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas. Avoid unclear phrases like “as a zoom” and provide a clear reason and a concrete example.

Exemplo: No, I didn’t have many opportunities to try new activities as a child. My school offered few extracurricular clubs, and because my parents were usually busy with work, I mostly stayed at home. As a result, I missed chances to learn skills like team sports or music.

Sugestão: Work on sentence structure, grammar, vocabulary and coherence. Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then give 1–2 supporting reasons with a concrete example. Use linking words (for example, for instance, furthermore) and correct verb forms and nouns (e.g., ‘help’, ‘bring’, ‘joy’). Keep it concise and avoid confusing phrases.

Exemplo: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them learn new skills and discover what they enjoy. For instance, last year I tried a Thai cooking class and learned useful techniques; it also helped me meet new friends and broaden my tastes.

× No I didn't have any opportunity to take part in new activities as a zoom, I was quite a size kid my school didn't offer a lot of extra curricular options because my parents were usually busy with work, so I mostly stayed

✓ No, I didn't have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child. I was quite a shy/small child and my school didn't offer many extracurricular options because my parents were usually busy with work, so I mostly stayed at home.

Multiple issues fall under past tense and related forms: use of 'opportunity' (singular) with 'any' should be plural 'opportunities'; 'as a zoom' is incorrect word choice and likely should be 'as a child'; 'quite a size kid' is ungrammatical — choose 'quite a shy child' or 'quite a small child'; 'extra curricular' should be 'extracurricular' and 'a lot of' with plural countable should be 'many'; sentence fragments were run together and needed splitting into past-tense clauses. Suggested improvements: use past simple consistently for past events, use correct count (opportunities), choose the correct noun ('child'), use 'many extracurricular options', and separate ideas into clear sentences.

× Well, I think people choose time many different things because I help them learn new skills and find what they joy, for example a Thai cooking a photograph last year.

✓ Well, I think people should try many different things because it helps them learn new skills and find what they enjoy; for example, I tried Thai cooking and photography last year.

Errors relate to modal verb and verb choice: 'choose time many different things' is incorrect — the intended meaning is recommendation, so use modal 'should try' and correct word order 'many different things'. 'I help them' is wrong subject; 'it helps them' refers to trying things. 'Find what they joy' should be 'find what they enjoy' (verb form). The examples list are nouns of activities; to indicate personal experience use past simple 'I tried Thai cooking and photography last year'. Suggestions: use modal 'should' for recommendations, ensure subject-verb agreement, use correct verb forms like 'enjoy', and list activities clearly.

× I bought stores me something useful and helps me miss Friend but it's also free.

✓ It taught me something useful and helped me meet friends, and it was also free.

Original sentence has many errors: 'I bought stores me' is meaningless; likely intended 'it taught me' or 'it gave me'. 'Helps me miss Friend' is incorrect — probably 'helped me meet friends'. Tense should be past ('taught', 'helped') to match 'last year'. 'Friend' should be plural 'friends'. Also connect ideas with conjunctions. Suggestions: use clear verbs that express learning ('taught'), use 'meet friends' for social benefit, maintain past tense, and use plural nouns where appropriate.