Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and fillers, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Also correct word choice and grammar (e.g., "Unfortunately" once, "often feel tired", "because I don't manage my schedule well").

Exemplo: Yes, unfortunately I often feel tired because I don’t manage my schedule well. For example, my days are usually packed with both work and study, and I often procrastinate, which means I end up doing things late and feeling exhausted.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and specific details. Avoid pronunciation errors ("most oftenly" → "most often") and contradictions. Use linking words to explain sequence or contrast (e.g., "so", "therefore"). Clarify what you can and cannot do when tired.

Exemplo: I usually feel tired most often after my work shifts, especially when they are long. As a result, I come home exhausted and drained, so I struggle to complete my school tasks and rarely have energy for my hobbies.

Sugestão: Provide a concise response: state your usual habit, explain briefly why it happens, and mention a constructive alternative. Remove fillers and unclear phrases ("without a bill"). Use linking words like "but" or "however" to contrast habits and solutions.

Exemplo: When I'm tired I usually just scroll on my phone because it's an easy distraction. However, this prevents me from sleeping, so now I try to take a short nap or do a relaxing routine like reading to recover energy.

× Unfortunate.

✓ Unfortunately.

The student used the adjective 'Unfortunate' as a response, but an adverb 'Unfortunately' is needed to modify the implied clause (e.g., 'Unfortunately, I do often feel tired'). Use adverbs to comment on a sentence; use adjectives to modify nouns. Suggestion: use 'Unfortunately' at the start of the sentence and follow with a comma.

× I I do often feel tired because of my inability to to prepare my schedule well.

✓ I do often feel tired because of my inability to prepare my schedule well.

There is a duplicated pronoun 'I I' and duplicated word 'to to'. Remove the repeated words. Also word order 'do often feel' is acceptable, but consider 'often feel' for more natural speech. Suggestion: say 'I often feel tired because I cannot prepare my schedule well.'

× Umm, it is often packed with work and study.

✓ My schedule is often packed with work and study.

The pronoun 'it' is unclear; using 'my schedule' clarifies the subject. Also 'packed with work and study' is fine but needs a clear noun subject to match the previous clause. Suggestion: explicitly refer to 'my schedule' for coherence.

× Both umm and uh, I am often procrastinating.

✓ I often procrastinate.

Present continuous 'am procrastinating' suggests an action happening right now; the student means a habitual action, so the simple present 'procrastinate' is correct. Also filler words 'Both umm and uh' are irrelevant and should be removed. Suggestion: use simple present for habits: 'I often procrastinate.'

× Most oftenly I feel tired after my shift of work.

✓ Most often, I feel tired after my work shift.

'Oftenly' is nonstandard; use 'often' or 'most often'. Place the adverb appropriately: 'Most often, I feel tired' or 'I most often feel tired.' Also 'shift of work' is awkward; 'work shift' or 'shift' is natural. Suggestion: use 'Most often, I feel tired after my work shift.'

× I come home exhausted and drained, and after that I can do any tasks uh, that were given to me in school.

✓ I come home exhausted and drained, and after that I can do any tasks that are given to me at school.

The relative clause 'that were given to me in school' implies past time; the student means tasks assigned by school in general, so use present simple passive 'are given' and 'at school' is more natural for assigned tasks. Also remove filler 'uh.' Suggestion: use 'tasks that are given to me at school.'

× I can do my hobby.

✓ I can work on my hobby.

'Do my hobby' is awkward. Use 'work on my hobby', 'practice my hobby' or 'do my hobbies' depending on context. Suggestion: choose a verb collocating with hobby: 'practice' or 'work on.'

× Unfortunately, I cannot deal with my tiredness properly.

✓ Unfortunately, I cannot deal with my tiredness properly.

Sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed; modal 'cannot' appropriately expresses inability. No further explanation beyond confirming correctness.

× So uh, in most cases I just keep scrolling on my phone.

✓ In most cases, I just keep scrolling on my phone.

Original is acceptable but contains filler 'uh'. 'Keep scrolling' correctly uses the -ing form after 'keep.' Suggestion: remove filler words and add comma after introductory phrase.

× Umm, without a bill, Without any ability to sleep, uh, for instance.

✓ For example, I often cannot fall asleep.

The phrase 'without a bill' is incorrect and unclear. 'Without any ability to sleep' is awkward; instead use 'cannot fall asleep' or 'have difficulty sleeping.' Also 'for instance' is better as 'for example.' Suggestion: replace with clear phrasing: 'For example, I often cannot fall asleep.'

× So instead of scrolling on my phone, I could get some sleep.

✓ So instead of scrolling on my phone, I should get some sleep.

Using 'could' expresses possibility; the student likely means recommendation or intention, so 'should' is better. If they mean a hypothetical alternative, 'could' is acceptable, but 'should' conveys the desired corrective action. Suggestion: use 'should' to express advice: 'I should get some sleep.'