Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng, ngắn gọn hơn và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp/ từ vựng; hãy mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó nêu 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể về lý do mệt mỏi. Tránh dùng từ không chính xác (ví dụ: “parked on top of”, “backless degree”, “lifts me fueling trends”). Cải thiện nối câu bằng các liên từ như “because”, “so”, “therefore”.

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I work full time as an office employee and I am studying for a second degree in the evenings. As a result, I usually have long days and little time to rest, so I often feel exhausted.

Sugestão: Cần bắt đầu bằng một câu trả lời trực tiếp, sau đó nêu ví dụ cụ thể về thời điểm và lý do. Sửa lỗi cấu trúc và ngữ pháp (ví dụ: “ESM season”, “as school having to meet work deadlines”); dùng liên từ để nối ý rõ ràng (e.g., “for example”, “especially”, “because”).

Exemplo: I usually feel most tired during peak workload periods, especially around the Lunar New Year and during exam or project seasons. For example, when I have to meet tight work deadlines and finish school assignments at the same time, I feel overwhelmed and burnt out.

Sugestão: Câu trả lời tương đối rõ ràng nhưng nên ngắn gọn hơn và tránh câu quá dài nối nhiều ý. Thêm một câu giải thích ngắn về hiệu quả của hành động và dùng liên từ để tổ chức ý (e.g., “usually”, “however”, “because”). Có thể nêu thêm 1 phương pháp khác để đa dạng nội dung.

Exemplo: When I feel tired, I usually drink tea or coffee to stay alert. On weekdays I often order drinks for convenience, but at weekends I prefer to brew my own because a small cup of coffee helps lift my mood and refresh my mind.

× I do often feel exhausted mainly because my schedule is pretty parked on top of working full time as an office employee.

✓ I often feel exhausted mainly because my schedule is pretty packed on top of working full time as an office employee.

The phrase 'parked on top of' is incorrect collocation; 'packed' fits meaning. Also 'I do often' is awkward; 'I often' is natural. Suggestion: use common collocations and place adverbs (often) before the main verb: 'I often feel exhausted.'

× I'm currently pursuing a second backless degree, so balancing a full work day with evening classes and assignments lifts me fueling trends and constantly low on energy.

✓ I'm currently pursuing a second bachelor's degree, so balancing a full work day with evening classes and assignments leaves me constantly low on energy.

Multiple errors: 'backless' is wrong word; 'bachelor's degree' is correct. 'lifts me fueling trends' is nonsensical; 'leaves me' expresses result. 'constantly low on energy' is the intended state. Suggestion: use correct noun forms and simple result clauses 'so ... leaves me ...'.

× The most exhausting times usually come during peak workload period such as the lunar new year season or during ESM season as school having to meet work deadlines while maintaining good rates often leaves me overwhelmed and completely burnt out

✓ The most exhausting times usually come during peak workload periods, such as the Lunar New Year season or ESM season, as having to meet work deadlines while maintaining good grades often leaves me overwhelmed and completely burnt out.

Errors: 'period' should be plural 'periods' to match 'times'; 'school having to meet' is awkward; rephrase to 'having to meet'. 'good rates' is incorrect collocation; 'good grades' likely intended. Subject-verb agreement: 'having to meet ... often leaves me' keeps singular 'leaves' matching subject 'having to meet ...'. Suggestion: pluralize nouns correctly and use natural collocations ('good grades').

× To keep myself alert, I usually drink tea or coffee.

✓ To keep myself alert, I usually drink tea or coffee.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Suggestion: keep as is; consider 'have tea or coffee' as alternative.

× On weekdays, I normally order them through delivery services, but on weekends I prefer brewing them myself as far as I'm concerned a tiny coffee really helps boost my mood and refresh my mind

✓ On weekdays, I normally order them through delivery services, but on weekends I prefer to brew them myself. As far as I'm concerned, a small coffee really helps boost my mood and refresh my mind.

Run-on sentence: needs a period between clauses. 'prefer brewing them myself' is acceptable but 'prefer to brew' is clearer. 'tiny coffee' is odd; 'small coffee' is natural. Also add commas after introductory phrase 'As far as I'm concerned'. Suggestion: split long sentences, use correct adjective choices and punctuation.