Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Cải thiện rõ ràng và mạch lạc: Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp và từ sai (ví dụ: “parked”, “phone graduate”), rút gọn câu quá dài thành 2–3 câu ngắn theo cấu trúc chủ đề + chi tiết hỗ trợ. Dùng liên từ phù hợp (because, so, therefore) và từ vựng chính xác (e.g. “busy”, “juggling”, “burnt out”).

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I am juggling a full-time job and studying for a second bachelor’s degree. This busy schedule leaves me drained most days, so I frequently feel low on energy.

Sugestão: Tránh câu ghép quá dài; chia thành câu rõ ràng, cụ thể về thời điểm và lý do. Sửa lỗi từ vựng (“good drags” không phù hợp) và dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, such as, because). Thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể để minh họa (ví dụ: overtime, tight deadlines).

Exemplo: I usually feel most tired during peak periods, for example the Lunar New Year and university exam seasons. During those times I have tight deadlines at work and extra study commitments, so I often work overtime and feel completely burnt out.

Sugestão: Chia câu hợp lý, sửa lỗi phát âm/viết (e.g. “drawing” → “brewing”, “a bit up caffeine” → “a bit of caffeine”). Nên nêu một hành động chính rồi bổ sung chi tiết ngắn bằng liên từ (so, but, on weekends). Có thể thêm một phương pháp khác là nghỉ ngắn, tập thể dục nhẹ để đa dạng câu trả lời.

Exemplo: When I feel tired I usually drink tea or coffee to stay alert, especially on weekdays when I order them for delivery. On weekends I prefer brewing my own coffee at home because it helps boost my mood and refresh my mind; sometimes I also take a short walk to wake up more naturally.

× I often feel exhausted mainly because my schedule is pretty parked with both work and study on top of working full time as an office employee.

✓ I often feel exhausted mainly because my schedule is pretty packed with both work and study, and I also work full time as an office employee.

The original uses 'parked' incorrectly; the correct adjective is 'packed' meaning full. The sentence structure also awkwardly repeats 'working' and needs a connector to join ideas. Suggestion: replace 'parked' with 'packed' and add 'and' with a parallel clause 'I also work full time as an office employee' to make the sentence clear and grammatically parallel.

× I'm currently pursuing a second bachelor's degree so balancing a phone graduate with study schedule leaves me feeling burnt out and constantly low on energy

✓ I'm currently pursuing a second bachelor's degree, so balancing a postgraduate program with my study schedule leaves me feeling burnt out and constantly low on energy.

Errors: 'phone graduate' is nonsensical and likely 'postgraduate' or 'postgraduate program'; missing article before 'study schedule' and subject-verb agreement with 'leaves' is okay but sentence needs commas. Suggestion: use 'a postgraduate program' or 'postgraduate studies' and 'my study schedule' for clarity.

× The most exhausting times usually come during peak workload periods such as the lunar new year season or during exam season in school, having to meet work deadlines while maintaining good drags often leaves me overwhelmed and completely burnt out.

✓ The most exhausting times usually come during peak workload periods, such as the Lunar New Year or exam season at school; having to meet work deadlines while maintaining good grades often leaves me overwhelmed and completely burnt out.

Errors: incorrect noun 'drags' should be 'grades'; 'Lunar New Year' is a proper noun and capitalized. The participial clause 'having to meet...' correctly modifies the subject but punctuation should separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: correct vocabulary and add appropriate punctuation.

× To keep myself alert, I usually drink tea or coffee on weekdays I normally order them through delivery services straight to my home but on weekends I prefer drawing them myself, since both tea and coffee contain a bit up caffeine, they really help boost my mood and refresh my mind.

✓ To keep myself alert, I usually drink tea or coffee. On weekdays I normally order them through delivery services straight to my home, but on weekends I prefer making them myself, since both tea and coffee contain a bit of caffeine; they really help boost my mood and refresh my mind.

Multiple issues: run-on sentence needs splitting. 'Drawing them myself' is incorrect; use 'making them myself'. 'a bit up caffeine' is wrong; correct phrase is 'a bit of caffeine'. Also punctuation: replace comma splice with period and semicolon. Suggestion: split into sentences, replace wrong verbs and fix 'a bit of'.