Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid vague phrases and incorrect grammar. Use linking words (for example, because, so) correctly and limit to 3–4 sentences. Also correct verb forms and prepositions (e.g., “I feel tired because I have a lot of pressure from my studies”).

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I have a heavy study load and many deadlines. For example, when I have exams and projects due, I spend long hours studying which makes me exhausted. To relax, I often play the guitar because music helps me refresh and clear my mind.

Sugestão: Give a direct time or situation and support it with specific examples. Begin with a clear topic sentence like “I feel most tired when...”, then explain why and give one concrete example. Avoid filler words and unclear expressions (e.g., “hilarious” and “hazing” are wrong here). Use correct collocations (e.g., “feel bored”, “feel stressed”, “concentrate”).

Exemplo: I feel most tired when I study for long periods without breaks, especially before exams. For example, during revision week I often study for six to eight hours a day, which makes it hard to concentrate and leaves me mentally exhausted.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a topic sentence stating your main action, then give a brief reason and a specific example of how it helps. Use correct tenses and collocations (e.g., “it refreshes me”, “I play the guitar”). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid unnecessary repetition.

Exemplo: When I feel tired, I usually play the guitar to relax because music helps me unwind. For instance, after a long study session I play simple songs for 20–30 minutes, which helps me feel refreshed and improves my focus when I return to work.

× Yeah, I often feel tired 'cause as a student I have to be into lots of pressures, things start these materials, obstacles and it's feels heavy.

✓ Yeah, I often feel tired because as a student I have a lot of pressure from studying, the amount of material and the obstacles feel heavy.

Original sentence has multiple sentence structure problems: incorrect phrase 'have to be into lots of pressures' should be 'have a lot of pressure' (natural collocation), 'things start these materials' is ungrammatical and unclear so replace with 'the amount of material', and 'it's feels heavy' mixes 'it is' and 'feels' causing subject-verb redundancy; use 'feel' to agree with plural idea or rephrase 'feel heavy'. Suggest breaking long run-on sentences into clearer noun phrases and matching verb forms to subjects.

× So I one thing I do is playing guitar 'cause as a music lover guy, I play guitars to refresh myself and it's really worked with me.

✓ One thing I do is play the guitar because as a music lover I play guitar to refresh myself and it really works for me.

Errors: 'So I one thing I do is playing guitar' mixes constructions; use infinitive 'is play' after 'one thing I do is'. 'Music lover guy' is informal and redundant; 'music lover' is sufficient. 'Play guitars' is unnatural—use 'play guitar' for the activity. 'It's really worked with me' uses wrong tense and preposition; use present simple 'it really works for me'. Follow consistent present-tense descriptions for habitual actions.

× Uh, especially when I am starting 'cause you know, in, in study, you have to focus, you have to be sharp minded, you have to calculate everything.

✓ Especially when I am starting to study, I have to focus, be sharp-minded, and calculate everything.

Use correct verb pattern 'starting to study' rather than 'starting'. 'Be sharp-minded' is an adjective phrase; remove repeated 'you' to match speaker perspective and keep parallel structure: 'have to focus, be sharp-minded, and calculate everything.' Maintain present continuous only where appropriate; here present simple/habitual fits.

× So it's, it's make myself a bit of boring and as, as far as, as far as try thing, it's, it's really, really hilarious for me and hazing for me.

✓ So it makes me a bit bored, and as for trying new things, it's really fun for me but also tiring.

'It's make' is wrong; correct subject-verb agreement is 'it makes'. 'Make myself a bit of boring' mixes reflexive pronoun and adjective—use 'makes me a bit bored.' 'As far as try thing' is ungrammatical; use 'as for trying new things'. 'Hilarious' can mean very funny; context likely 'fun' and 'hazing' is wrong—replace with 'tiring'. Keep concise clauses with correct verb agreement.

× So when I feel tired, I do one thing and these things are worked really, really good on me.

✓ When I feel tired, I do one thing that works really well for me.

Original is wordy and ungrammatical: 'do one thing and these things are worked' mixes singular/plural and passive incorrectly. Use active form 'works really well for me.' Avoid redundancy and ensure singular/plural consistency.

× I just play guitar and you know, as a music lover guy, I love to play guitar and music is kind of like blending my blood.

✓ I just play guitar; as a music lover, I love playing guitar and music is like part of my blood.

'say I love to play guitar' is acceptable but keep consistent: use 'love playing guitar' for parallelism. 'Blending my blood' is incorrect metaphor; use 'part of my blood' or 'in my blood'. Use gerund 'playing' after 'love' when maintaining parallel structure.

× So when I getting tired or when I'm getting bored, I just took the guitar, play some songs and I just refreshed my mind.

✓ So when I'm getting tired or bored, I just take the guitar, play some songs, and refresh my mind.

Mixed tenses: 'when I getting tired' lacks auxiliary 'am' — use 'when I'm getting tired'. 'I just took the guitar' wrongly uses past tense 'took' while describing habitual action; use present simple 'take'. 'Play some songs and I just refreshed my mind' mixes present and past; keep present habitual 'play some songs and refresh my mind.' Ensure consistent tense for repeated/habitual actions.