Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce fillers (umm, uh) and avoid repeating the same idea. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. "low energy", "commute") and keep to 2–4 sentences to sound natural and fluent.

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I have low energy after a long workday. For example, my commute takes about an hour and a half, which makes me feel drained by the time I get home. As a result, I usually rest for a short while before doing anything else.

Sugestão: Provide a clear time or situation and give a specific reason linked logically. Avoid vague self-judgment phrases like "not suitable for working." Use linking words such as "especially" or "mainly" and quantify details (e.g. commute length) to support your answer. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: I feel tired most of the time, but especially on my way home from work. My commute takes about an hour and a half, so by the time I finish driving I feel exhausted. This long travel time is the main reason I often lack energy in the evening.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence stating your main coping strategy, then briefly explain how or why it helps with a specific example. Reduce fillers and use varied vocabulary (e.g. "relaxing puzzle games", "unwind"). One or two supporting sentences are enough.

Exemplo: When I'm tired, I usually play relaxing puzzle games on my iPad to unwind. For instance, simple games like Sudoku or a calming puzzle app help me clear my mind and focus on something enjoyable for 20–30 minutes, which boosts my mood.

× Yes, I'm kind of a no energy person so and I always get tired especially when I when I'm out of work on my way home it takes a long time to commute. So umm when I get home I always feel umm.

✓ Yes, I'm kind of a person with no energy, and I always get tired, especially when I'm on my way home from work because the commute takes a long time. So when I get home I always feel exhausted.

This sentence has run-on and disfluent structure, missing connectors and awkward phrases. Break it into clear clauses, remove fillers, use 'a person with no energy' instead of 'a no energy person', and place 'from work' after 'home' to clarify meaning. Also replace vague 'umm' with 'exhausted' for clarity.

× Uh, I feel tired, tired all the time. I think maybe I'm the kind of person that's not suitable for working, umm, but uh, especially when I, umm, on the way back home because the commute time is too long, I have to drive around 1 1/2 hour.

✓ I feel tired all the time. I think maybe I'm the kind of person who isn't suited to working, but especially when I'm on my way home because the commute is too long; I have to drive for about one and a half hours.

Issues: awkward relative clause and tense/aspect in 'isn't suited to working' (use present simple passive 'isn't suited'), and time expression needs 'for' with duration and plural 'hours'. Replace '1 1/2 hour' with 'one and a half hours' or 'about one and a half hours'. Remove fillers and correct 'who' for people.

× Actually, I usually play some games, especially relaxing ones on my iPad. Umm, that makes me umm, clear my mind and just concentrate on the happy things.

✓ Actually, I usually play some games, especially relaxing ones on my iPad. That helps me clear my mind and concentrate on pleasant things.

Preposition/verb choice: use 'helps me clear' rather than 'makes me clear'. 'Concentrate on the happy things' is awkward; use 'concentrate on pleasant things' or 'happy thoughts'. Remove fillers for fluency.