Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using correct grammar. Avoid irrelevant words and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Mention the medical reason clearly (e.g., low hemoglobin) and describe one typical consequence concisely. Use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly.

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I have low hemoglobin. As a result, I sometimes feel faint after walking for two or three hours. This makes daily activities difficult, especially when I have a busy schedule.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence then provide specific supporting details linked logically. Correct tense and prepositions (e.g., “when I get home from university”) and quantify or exemplify pressures briefly. Replace vague phrases with concrete examples and use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

Exemplo: I usually feel tired when I get home from university because my day is very stressful. For example, I face heavy mental workload from lectures and assignments, and I often spend an extra hour stuck in traffic when my commute is long.

Sugestão: Answer directly, then add 1–2 specific actions and frequency. Use correct verb forms and concise phrasing. Avoid redundancy (e.g., don’t repeat “when I get tired”). Mention how effective each strategy is and how often you do it using linking words like “so” or “sometimes.”

Exemplo: When I feel tired, I usually drink an electrolyte solution and sometimes have a cup of coffee to boost my energy. I don't drink coffee often—only once or twice a week—and I also take short naps for about 20–30 minutes when I have free time.

× Yes, I often feel tired of because I got low hemoglobin in my blood basil's so it's a funny part but sad for me.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired because I have low hemoglobin in my blood, which is strange but sad for me.

The phrase 'tired of because' uses an incorrect preposition and conjunction; 'tired' does not need 'of' here. 'Got' is informal and ambiguous; use present perfect or simple present for a current condition: 'have low hemoglobin.' 'blood basil's' is unclear and likely a misuse of words; replace with 'blood' and add a relative clause 'which is strange but sad for me.' Use commas to separate clauses. Suggestions: remove incorrect preposition 'of', use 'have' for a current condition, and clarify the noun phrase.

× I almost everyday passed out after walking two to three hours and I feel tired the other day if I work in the present day too much.

✓ Almost every day I pass out after walking for two to three hours, and I feel tired the next day if I work too much during the day.

Tense and adverb placement errors: 'Almost everyday passed out' mixes past tense with habitual time expressions; use simple present 'pass out' for habitual actions. 'Everyday' should be 'every day' (adverbial phrase). Use 'after walking for two to three hours' to indicate duration. 'The other day' is wrong for habitual result; use 'the next day.' 'Work in the present day too much' is awkward; use 'work too much during the day.' Suggestions: use simple present for habits, correct 'everyday' to 'every day', use 'for' with durations, and replace 'the other day' with 'the next day'.

× I usually feel tired after getting back from my university to home because I got so many pressures there.

✓ I usually feel tired after getting back home from university because I have so much pressure there.

Mix of verb tenses and incorrect preposition: 'getting back from my university to home' is awkward; use 'getting back home from university.' 'Got' is past tense; the speaker describes a current ongoing situation, so use present 'have.' 'So many pressures' is unidiomatic; use 'so much pressure.' Suggestions: use present tense for ongoing conditions, simplify prepositional phrase order, and use 'much pressure' for uncountable noun.

× Like mentally, physically, I have to deal with many things.

✓ Mentally and physically, I have to deal with many things.

The original uses commas incorrectly and an unnecessary 'Like' at the start. Use the coordinating conjunction 'and' to link 'mentally' and 'physically' and place the adverbial phrase at the start of the sentence, followed by a comma. Suggestions: remove 'Like', use 'and' to join parallel adverbs, and position the phrase before the main clause.

× I have to push a 10 kilometer of traffic jam and then I can go my home.

✓ I have to push through a 10-kilometer traffic jam before I can go home.

Incorrect verb and preposition: 'push a 10 kilometer of traffic jam' is ungrammatical. The correct collocation is 'push through a traffic jam.' Use hyphen in '10-kilometer' as a compound adjective and omit the article before 'home' when using 'go home.' Also 'then I can go my home' should be 'before I can go home.' Suggestions: use 'push through', hyphenate compound adjectives, and use 'go home' without 'my'.

× I use electrolytes to boost up my energy and then I have coffee.

✓ I use electrolytes to boost my energy and then I have coffee.

'Boost up' is a redundant phrasal verb; 'boost' alone is correct. The structure 'use X to boost my energy' is correct; maintain simple present for habitual actions. Suggestions: remove unnecessary particle 'up' and keep simple present tense for habits.

× It's not like my habit.

✓ It's not my habit.

Unnecessary 'like' makes the sentence unidiomatic. Use simple present 'It's not my habit' to state a habitual tendency. Suggestions: remove 'like' to form the correct idiom.

× I just drank coffee like one or two times in a week and I took nap too much when I get tired when I get free.

✓ I just drink coffee once or twice a week, and I take naps a lot when I get tired and have free time.

Mixed tenses and incorrect frequency expressions: 'just drank' (past) conflicts with habitual 'in a week'; use simple present 'drink' for habitual frequency. 'Like one or two times in a week' should be 'once or twice a week.' 'I took nap too much' mixes past tense and uncountable noun; use 'I take naps a lot' or 'I nap a lot.' 'When I get free' is informal; use 'when I have free time.' Suggestions: use simple present for habits, use 'once or twice a week', pluralize 'nap' to 'naps' when using 'take', and use 'have free time'.