Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “iOS is swamped”) and finish the sentence. Aim for 2–4 sentences, correct verb forms, and natural expressions.

Exemplo: Yes, I have felt quite tired recently because I missed my annual vacation. The company was renovating the offices and running extra IT work, so I had to take on additional tasks for several weeks. Consequently, I’ve been feeling exhausted and less motivated than usual.

Sugestão: Begin with a direct topic sentence and use linking words to connect causes and effects. Correct small errors (verb tense, word order) and remove filler words. Be specific about timing and activities and keep within 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: I usually feel most tired in the evening because I start work at 8:00 AM and commute about an hour and a half each way. This long day of work and travel leaves me exhausted by the time I get home, so I normally rest for a short while before doing anything else.

Sugestão: Provide a clear topic sentence, give two specific actions with brief explanations, and avoid hesitations and repetition. Use precise verbs and correct grammar (e.g., “helps my mind calm” not “calls my mind”; remove duplicate words). Keep it natural and within 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: When I feel tired, I usually listen to relaxing music or watch ASMR videos to unwind. Music helps my mind calm down after a stressful day, and ASMR often makes it easier for me to fall asleep.

× As a result, iOS is swamped with extra tasks for several weeks and now I often feel exhausted and find it hard to.

✓ As a result, I was swamped with extra tasks for several week s and now I often feel exhausted and find it hard to relax.

Original uses 'iOS' (likely typo for 'I') and 'for several weeks' conflicts with tense—since earlier clause describes recent past, use 'was swamped' to match time frame; 'week s' should be 'weeks' but the main plural issue is inconsistent; also sentence ends incomplete so add 'to relax'. Suggestion: use consistent singular/plural forms and ensure sentence completes the verb phrase. Note: corrected 'iOS' to 'I' and kept 'weeks' plural to match 'several'.

× The company was renovating the offices and operating computer servers.

✓ The company was renovating the offices and operating the computer servers.

Missing definite article before 'computer servers' makes noun phrase awkward. Past continuous 'was renovating' and 'operating' are correct for simultaneous past actions; add 'the' to specify the servers.

× As a result, iOS is swamped with extra tasks for several weeks and now I often feel exhausted and find it hard to.

✓ As a result, I have been swamped with extra tasks for several weeks, and now I often feel exhausted and find it hard to relax.

Sentence structure is incomplete and tense inconsistent. Use present perfect continuous 'have been swamped' to link recent period continuing to present (several weeks). Complete the sentence by adding the verb 'relax'. Ensure subject 'I' is capitalized.

× I usually feel very tired in the evening because I started to work at 8:00 AM and I have a long commute up about an hour and a half traveling to and from work.

✓ I usually feel very tired in the evening because I start work at 8:00 AM and have a long commute of about an hour and a half to and from work.

Mixes past 'started' with habitual context; use simple present 'start' for regular routines. 'Have a long commute up about' is incorrect preposition and word order—use 'commute of about an hour and a half' and 'to and from work'.

× I have a long commute up about an hour and a half traveling to and from work.

✓ I have a long commute of about an hour and a half to and from work.

Preposition 'up' is incorrect here. Use 'of' to express duration/length ('a commute of about an hour and a half') and 'to and from' to indicate direction. This fixes natural English phrasing.

× Uh, where they leaves me exhausted by the time I get home, so I often relax for a while before doing.

✓ They leave me exhausted by the time I get home, so I often relax for a while before doing anything else.

Pronoun 'they' requires plural verb 'leave' not 'leaves'. Also 'where' is unnecessary; remove it. The verb phrase 'before doing' is incomplete; add object 'anything else' to complete thought.

× The company was renovating the offices and operating computer servers.

✓ The company was renovating the offices and operating the computer servers.

Original lacks article but has verbs; included to note clarity. Ensure verbs present and noun phrases complete. Add 'the' to specify servers so sentence reads clearly.

× As a result, iOS is swamped with extra tasks for several weeks and now I often feel exhausted and find it hard to.

✓ As a result, I have been swamped with extra tasks for several weeks, and now I often feel exhausted and find it hard to relax.

Pronoun 'iOS' seems to be typo for 'I' and must be corrected. Ensure pronoun capitalization and correct identity. Complete the clause with the verb 'relax'.

× Also, ASMR often makes me easier for me to fall asleep.

✓ Also, ASMR often makes it easier for me to fall asleep.

Incorrect structure 'makes me easier for me' duplicates subject and misplaces adjective. Use impersonal 'makes it easier for me' to indicate that ASMR facilitates falling asleep.

× I usually listen to music or watch ASMR videos to help me relax.

✓ I usually listen to music or watch ASMR videos to help me relax.

Sentence is correct. Gerund/infinitive usage 'to help' is appropriate. No change needed.