Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is relevant and explains reasons, but it is slightly wordy and partly repetitive (stress/stressed, exhausted). Make the response more concise, use a clear topic sentence, and include one specific example or brief detail to support your point. Keep it to no more than five sentences and use a linking word to connect ideas (for example, “because” or “so”).

Exemplo: Yes, I do. Lately I often feel tired because I’m under heavy pressure from Year 12 coursework and exams. For instance, I sometimes study late into the night preparing for mock tests, which leaves me exhausted the next day. As a result, my energy levels are lower during lessons.

Sugestão: This answer is clear, specific and gives two distinct times when you feel tired. To improve, start with a concise topic sentence, then use linking words (for example, “first” and “also”) and give a brief concrete example of a theoretical lesson or describe how it affects you. Avoid informal phrases like “doze off a little bit”; use more natural phrasing such as “feel drowsy.”

Exemplo: I don’t have one fixed time, but I feel most tired right after waking up and again during certain lessons. First, I often struggle to get out of bed in the morning because I go to sleep late. Also, during long, theoretical subjects like advanced physics, I feel drowsy and find it hard to concentrate.

Sugestão: Your response answers the question and gives reasons, but it could be tightened and include one more specific strategy or result. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use a linking word to connect actions and reasons (for example, “so” or “because”), and replace vague phrases like “talk to my friends” with a brief example (e.g., “chat for ten minutes”).

Exemplo: When I feel tired, I usually chat with friends for a short time to boost my mood and stay alert. I avoid naps because they make me feel groggy afterwards, so instead I take a five- to ten-minute walk or drink a glass of water to refresh myself.

× Recently, it has been a more common occurrence because I've been dealing with a lot of stress and workload from year 12.

✓ Recently, it has become a more common occurrence because I've been dealing with a lot of stress and a heavy workload from Year 12.

Use 'has become' rather than 'has been' to indicate a change into a state; add article 'a' before 'heavy workload' and capitalize 'Year 12' as a proper noun. This keeps present perfect progressive context but uses the correct verb for state change and correct article use.

× Therefore I often feel very stressed out and exhausted from all the academic pressure.

✓ Therefore, I often feel very stressed out and exhausted from all the academic pressure.

Missing comma after introductory adverb 'Therefore'. Adding the comma improves sentence structure and clarity; tense and verb forms are correct.

× I don't feel tired at just one specific time of the day, so normally I feel the most tired right after I wake up because I really struggle to get out of bed.

✓ I don't feel tired at one specific time of the day; normally I feel the most tired right after I wake up because I really struggle to get out of bed.

Replace 'just one' with 'one' for conciseness and change the comma to a semicolon (or period) to separate two independent clauses. The tenses are correct; this is a sentence structure improvement to avoid comma splice.

× And then during the day when the lessons get highly theoretical, I tend to doze off a little bit.

✓ During the day, when lessons become highly theoretical, I tend to doze off a little bit.

Avoid starting a sentence with 'And then' in formal responses; use 'during the day' at the start and change 'get' to 'become' for a more natural verb with 'theoretical'. Add comma after the introductory clause.

× I like to talk to my friends, whether it's discussing a topic in class or just sharing events about our personal lives.

✓ I like to talk to my friends, whether we're discussing a topic in class or just sharing events from our personal lives.

Use 'we're discussing' instead of 'it's discussing' because the subject is 'we' (friends) doing the discussing. Also change 'about our personal lives' to 'from our personal lives' for natural phrasing.

× I also avoid taking naps because I feel like I would wake up feeling even more exhausted and drained.

✓ I also avoid taking naps because I feel I would wake up feeling even more exhausted and drained.

'I feel like I would' is conversational; 'I feel I would' is slightly more formal and concise. The modal 'would' is acceptable here to express a probable result; no tense change needed. This is a style improvement rather than strict grammar correction.