Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Give a concise direct topic sentence then add one or two specific reasons with clearer vocabulary and correct grammar. Avoid repetition (e.g., ‘school stuff’ twice) and limit to maximum five sentences. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly.

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I have a heavy study load at school. For example, I have daily exams and long evening study sessions, which leaves me mentally exhausted. As a result, I usually need more rest during the day.

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then list specific subjects or situations in a short, organized way. Remove filler words ('uh', 'umm') and correct vocabulary (e.g., 'I study business at higher level'). Use linking words like 'for example' or 'especially'.

Exemplo: I usually feel tired while studying, especially during long study sessions. For example, I take higher-level courses such as Business, English and Mathematics, plus Arabic at standard level, so the workload is intense and tiring.

Sugestão: Answer with one clear strategy you use, then add one specific secondary method and a brief reason. Correct phrases (e.g., 'count from 1 to 20') and avoid unclear comparisons. Use linking words like 'also' or 'for example'.

Exemplo: When I feel tired I usually count slowly from one to twenty to calm myself down. I also relax by watching TV or browsing short videos on TikTok because these activities help me unwind quickly.

× Yes, of course. I feel tired because I'm so exhausted from my school stuff and the school stuff is so a lot.

✓ Yes, of course. I feel tired because I'm exhausted from my schoolwork, which is a lot.

The original has awkward repetition and incorrect noun phrase 'school stuff' and 'is so a lot'. This is a sentence structure error: remove repetition, use the correct noun 'schoolwork', and rephrase 'is a lot' to 'which is a lot' to link ideas clearly. Suggestion: use concise nouns and relative clauses to combine ideas.

× The exams are a lot every day and every night we have to study for our exams and I think a lot and have.

✓ There are many exams every day, and every night we have to study for them, so I think a lot about them.

This sentence is disorganized and incomplete ('and have' is unfinished), a sentence structure error. Start with 'There are many exams' for clarity, use pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition, and complete the cause-effect idea with 'so I think a lot about them'. Suggestion: break long ideas into clear clauses and finish each clause.

× As I said previously, I feel tired when I uh. When I study, uh, because I'm an business, uh, aiming for a bachelor, uh, so I study business HL, English HL, Arabic SL, math HL, bulge HL, which is so umm.

✓ As I said previously, I feel tired when I study because I am studying business for my bachelor's degree, so I take Business HL, English HL, Arabic SL, Math HL and Biology HL.

Errors include incorrect article 'an business' and incorrect degree phrase; this is an article error and word choice. Use 'a bachelor's degree' or 'my bachelor's degree' and 'studying business' instead of 'an business'. Also 'bulge HL' seems to be a mispronunciation of 'Biology HL'; correct to 'Biology HL'. Suggestion: use correct articles before nouns and standard degree expressions; check subject names for correct spelling.

× People told me that I have to account from 1 to 20 because I panic a lot and from my own perspective I would see that staying in home watching TV whereas calling on Tiktok make me more less tired.

✓ People told me that I have to count from 1 to 20 because I panic a lot, and in my opinion, staying at home watching TV or calling on TikTok makes me less tired.

Multiple issues: 'account' should be 'count' (wrong verb), 'staying in home' should be 'staying at home' (preposition), and 'calling on Tiktok make' needs subject-verb agreement and correct verb form 'makes'. This fits verb present participle and also has preposition and subject-verb agreement problems. Suggestion: use correct verbs ('count'), proper prepositions ('at home'), and ensure singular subjects take singular verbs ('calling... makes').