Tiredness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Keep the answer direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I often feel tired), then give one or two specific reasons and one brief example. Avoid repetition and incorrect collocations (e.g. “work person”, “heavy stone on my backbone”, and repeated words). Use natural phrases such as “I have a heavy workload” or “I feel exhausted.” Limit to about 2–4 sentences and use linking words (because, when) to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I often feel tired because I usually have a heavy workload at my job. For example, when I have multiple deadlines in a week I feel mentally and physically exhausted, as if I have little energy left for anything else.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence (I feel tired in crowded or noisy places). Give a specific reason and one short example. Replace vague or awkward phrases like “my mind goes blind” with clearer descriptions (e.g. “I become overwhelmed or stressed”). Use linking words such as “because” or “when.” Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I feel tired when I visit crowded or noisy places because the constant noise and activity overwhelm me. For instance, after an afternoon at a busy market I usually feel drained and find it hard to concentrate.

Sugestão: Begin with a clear topic sentence (I prefer to rest in a quiet place). Give one specific action and a short result. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (“master peaceful place”, “refreshment and refreshment”, “So that's my mind will be”). Use natural expressions like “I go somewhere quiet to relax” or “I take a short walk or nap.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences and include a linking word such as “so” or “because.”

Exemplo: When I feel tired, I usually go to a quiet place to relax because it helps me recover. For example, I sit in a nearby park for twenty minutes or take a short nap, and afterwards I feel calmer and more focused.

× Yes, of course I'm a work person, so whenever I have I have a lot of work presence, I feel so much tired and and feels feels like something heavy stone is carrying on my back backbone.

✓ Yes, of course I'm a working person, so whenever I have a lot of work pressure, I feel very tired and it feels like a heavy stone is resting on my backbone.

Issues: 'work person' is incorrect collocation; use 'working person'. 'work presence' is wrong choice; use 'work pressure'. 'so much tired' is incorrect—use 'very tired'. 'feels feels' and subject mismatch 'feels like' requires 'it' as subject. 'back backbone' is redundant; use 'backbone' or 'back'. Suggestion: use correct collocations and ensure subject-verb agreement and eliminate redundancies.

× I think whenever I go to the most crowded places and where is where there is a lot of disturbance and that makes me feel so much exhausted and and my mind goes blind.

✓ I think whenever I go to very crowded places where there is a lot of noise and disturbance, I feel extremely exhausted and my mind goes blank.

Issues: awkward phrasing 'the most crowded places and where is where there is' — simplify and correct word order. 'so much exhausted' should be 'extremely exhausted' or 'very exhausted'. 'goes blind' is incorrect collocation for mental state; use 'goes blank'. Suggestion: simplify clauses, use appropriate adverb and accurate idiom.

× Whenever I feel so much tired, I prefer to go to the master peaceful place where where there is no one and only me and I can take a refreshment and refreshment.

✓ Whenever I feel very tired, I prefer to go to a peaceful place where there is no one else and I can relax and refresh myself.

Issues: 'so much tired' should be 'very tired'. 'master peaceful place' is incorrect—use 'a peaceful place'. Repetition 'where where' and 'refreshment and refreshment' are errors. 'only me' should be 'no one else'. Use verb 'relax' and reflexive 'refresh myself'. Suggestion: remove repetitions, choose correct adjectives and reflexive pronoun for self-care actions.

× So that's my mind will be.

✓ So my mind will be at ease.

Issue: 'So that's my mind will be.' is ungrammatical and unclear. Correct structure: 'my mind will be at ease' or 'I will feel better.' Suggestion: use a complete subject-verb-complement structure and an appropriate idiom to express mental relief.