Music— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “I prefer sad music.”), avoid filler words (uh, umm) and incorrect verbs (“watching” → “listening to”). Add one specific reason and an example using a linking word (e.g. “because” / “for example”) to make it coherent. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: I prefer sad music because it feels emotionally deep and helps me process my feelings. For example, when I'm stressed, listening to a slow piano song calms me and helps me think more clearly.

Sugestão: Answer directly and reduce vague phrases. Start with a clear response (e.g. “Yes, it does.”), then give one or two specific effects with a linking word (e.g. “because” / “for example”). Avoid unnatural expressions (“in an other world” → “like I’m in another world”) and unsupported general claims (“heals you more than any other music”).

Exemplo: Yes, it does. Happy music makes me feel more energetic and sociable because its upbeat rhythms lift my mood; for example, when I listen to pop songs at a party I feel like dancing and connecting with others.

× I usually prefer hearing sad music because uh, they are they feel quite emotional as well as uh, I love umm, sharing the feelings of heart as I personally do think that uh, sad music sometimes can heal me, so I prefer watching sad music.

✓ I usually prefer listening to sad music because it feels quite emotional, and I love sharing feelings from the heart. I personally think that sad music can sometimes heal me, so I prefer listening to sad music.

Errors: incorrect pronoun agreement ('they are they feel' should be singular 'it feels' because 'sad music' is treated as a singular concept); incorrect verb choice ('hearing' and 'watching' are wrong collocations here — use 'listening to' for music); awkward phrase 'sharing the feelings of heart' should be 'sharing feelings from the heart'; redundant fillers. Suggestions: use 'it' to refer to 'sad music', use the verb phrase 'listening to' with 'music', simplify clauses and remove filler words to improve clarity and grammaticality.

× Well, that's totally interesting talking about, and I do agree with that.

✓ Well, that's an interesting topic, and I agree with that.

Errors: awkward and ungrammatical phrasing 'that's totally interesting talking about' — incorrect sentence structure. Suggestions: use a noun phrase like 'an interesting topic' or say 'that's totally interesting' followed by the subject; 'I do agree' is acceptable but 'I agree' is more natural.

× That happy music, although makes me feel more excited, more joyful, like I am in an other world.

✓ Happy music, although it makes me feel more excited and joyful, makes me feel like I am in another world.

Errors: missing subject 'it' before 'makes' when using a subordinate clause; 'an other' should be 'another' (single word). Suggestions: include the pronoun 'it' to link the clause to 'happy music' and use 'another' as the correct form.

× Happy music is something which heals you more than any other music and it allows you to enjoy the moment you are sharing with someone.

✓ Happy music can heal you more than other types of music, and it allows you to enjoy the moments you share with someone.

Errors: wordy and slightly awkward phrasing 'something which heals you more than any other music' — use 'more than other types of music'; 'the moment you are sharing' is better as 'the moments you share'. Suggestions: simplify comparative structure and use plural 'moments' for general statements; replace 'which' with 'that' or rephrase for clarity.