Tidiness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Work on clarity, fluency and organization. Reduce hesitation and repetitions, correct basic grammar, and use one clear example with linking words. Aim for 2–3 well-formed sentences: a topic sentence stating your preference, then one supporting detail. Use proper verb forms and countable/plural nouns (e.g., ‘books’ not ‘book’), and avoid filler sounds like “uh.”

Exemplo: Yes, I prefer to keep my things tidy. For example, I always arrange my books neatly on my desk and use a small desk pad to keep everything organized, which helps me feel in control.

Sugestão: Improve grammar, coherence and specificity. Use past tense consistently for childhood experiences, link ideas with conjunctions, and explain reasons with clearer phrasing. Avoid repetition and correct pronouns and possessives. Provide one clear reason and an example in 2–3 concise sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often stayed at a friend’s house, so I kept my room tidy out of respect for them. Keeping the room clean also gave me a sense of control and made me feel comfortable.

× I uh, prefer my things as very clea clean.

✓ I prefer my things very clean.

The original has redundancy ('as very') and a filler word; 'prefer' is simple present and should be followed by an adjective or adjective phrase without 'as' here. Remove 'as' and the repeated fragment 'clea clean' to produce a grammatically correct present-tense statement.

× I will put my books on my desk desks and uh put a small pad on my desk that made me feel like a control something control everything.

✓ I will put my books on my desk and put a small pad on it that makes me feel in control of everything.

The speaker mistakenly used both 'desk' and 'desks' and mixed tenses ('made' with future/planned action). Use the singular 'desk' consistently when referring to one desk. Also change 'made' to present 'makes' because the pad gives a general feeling, and rephrase 'like a control something control everything' to 'in control of everything' for correct idiomatic expression.

× Yes, absolutely when I was a child I mainly live with live in my friend's home so I have to keep the room clean.

✓ Yes, absolutely. When I was a child I mainly lived in my friend's home, so I had to keep the room clean.

The time frame 'when I was a child' requires past tense. Change 'live' to past 'lived' and 'have to' to past 'had to' to match the past context and maintain consistent tense.

× I I think that he's a a sense of respect other friends and give me a feeling of control myself.

✓ I think that it's a way of showing respect to my friends and it gave me a feeling of control.

The original misuses 'he's' and has unclear reference; 'it's a way of showing respect to my friends' clarifies the subject. Also adjust tense: since speaker describes childhood, use past 'gave me' rather than 'give me.' Remove 'myself' as redundant after 'gave me a feeling of control.'