Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and directly answer first, then give one clear reason with specific detail. Avoid hesitations and repetition. Use a linking word when adding the reason (e.g., 'because' or 'since'). Keep your response to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: No, I didn't like going to parks as a child because I grew up in a densely built neighborhood where there were few green spaces. As a result, parks were difficult to reach and I rarely had the chance to visit them.

Sugestão: Start with a clear yes/no or partial agreement, then explain briefly with a specific reason and one consequence. Eliminate filler phrases and repeated words. Use a linking word like 'but' or 'however' to contrast.

Exemplo: I do enjoy going to parks sometimes, but at the moment I rarely visit them because my job is very busy. Consequently, I find it stressful to take time off to go out.

Sugestão: Answer directly and give a clear, specific reason focused on benefits rather than generalizations about others. Avoid vague words like 'apparently' and unsupported claims. Use linking words such as 'because' and give one concrete advantage of more parks.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe outdoor spaces for exercise and socializing. For example, a nearby park would encourage people to walk, meet friends, and improve community health.

Sugestão: Give a direct answer naming a park, then explain briefly with specific constraints (time, distance, work). Avoid rambling and repetition. Use linking words like 'but' and 'because' to make the reason clear and concise.

Exemplo: Yes. I'd like to visit UMM in Makati, but I haven't because the journey takes about two hours. Since I work full-time and prefer low-key outings as an introvert, I find it difficult to spare that much time.

× I wasn't fond of being in parks when I was a child because I live in the city and most parks are not accessible within my area because it's it's just mostly houses and buildings.

✓ I wasn't fond of being in parks when I was a child because I lived in the city and most parks were not accessible in my area since it was mostly houses and buildings.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses. The main clause refers to the past ('I wasn't fond... when I was a child'), so related verbs should also be in the past: 'live' -> 'lived' and 'are not accessible' -> 'were not accessible'. Also 'because it's it's just' has a repetition and should be rephrased to 'since it was mostly'. Maintain consistent past tense for clarity. Suggestion: Keep temporal references consistent by aligning verbs to the main time frame (past).

× So no I don't no.

✓ So no, I didn't.

This fragment is ungrammatical and repeats 'no'. The student is answering a past question, so 'didn't' (did not) is the correct past-tense negative. The original lacks a clear verb and structure. Suggestion: Use a complete negative clause matching the tense of the question (e.g., 'No, I didn't').

× I do fancy going to parks sometime but for now it's an old because currently working and it's a bit stressful for me to go out especially that I can't I can't go out sometimes because of work.

✓ I do fancy going to parks sometimes, but for now it's old because I'm currently working and it's a bit stressful for me to go out; sometimes I simply can't because of work.

Multiple problems: 'sometime' should be plural 'sometimes' for habitual occurrences; 'currently working' needs a subject and auxiliary ('I'm currently working'); repetition 'I can't I can't' should be removed; 'for now it's an old' is unclear — likely meant 'on hold' or 'on hold for now' but I preserved original 'it's old' only minimally; better is 'it's on hold'. Tense and subject-verb forms must be explicit. Suggestion: Use 'sometimes' for occasional actions, include the subject and auxiliary for present continuous ('I'm currently working'), and avoid repetition. Consider replacing 'it's old' with 'it's on hold' for clearer meaning.

× I do fancy going to parks sometime but for now it's an old because currently working and it's a bit stressful for me to go out especially that I can't I can't go out sometimes because of work.

✓ I do fancy going to parks sometimes, but for now it's on hold because I'm currently working and it's a bit stressful for me to go out; sometimes I can't because of work.

The modal/ability expression 'can't' is fine but repeated. The phrase 'especially that' is incorrect in this context; use 'especially since' or restructure the clause. The sentence needs a clear causal connector and correct modal placement relative to the subject. Suggestion: Use 'especially since' or 'because' to introduce reasons, and place modal verbs directly after the subject ('I can't').

× I would love to see more parks in my city because apparently the generation today don't go out more often because they're glued to their devices and they don't like human interactions like this in the past.

✓ I would love to see more parks in my city because apparently the younger generation doesn't go out as often; they're glued to their devices and don't enjoy social interactions like people did in the past.

'The generation today' is awkward; 'the younger generation' or 'young people' is clearer. 'Don't go out more often' is incorrect comparative structure — use 'don't go out as often'. Subject-verb agreement: 'generation' is singular so use 'doesn't' not 'don't'. Also 'they don't like human interactions like this in the past' is unclear; rephrase to 'don't enjoy social interactions like people did in the past.' Suggestion: Match singular collective nouns (generation) with singular verbs and use 'as... as' for comparisons; use clearer vocabulary ('younger generation', 'social interactions').

× There are parks that I would love to go to, UMM for example in Makati, but the ride there is about two hours so it takes much time of the day and I don't have time because of work and I get stressed when I go out because I'm an introvert so.

✓ There are parks that I would love to go to, like UMM in Makati, but the ride there is about two hours, so it takes up too much time and I don't have time because of work; I also get stressed when I go out because I'm an introvert.

The initial 'There are parks that I would love to go to' is acceptable, but the sentence has several issues: 'it takes much time of the day' is unidiomatic — use 'takes up too much time' or 'takes too much of the day'; run-on sentence lacking punctuation; trailing 'so' is incomplete. Clarify and punctuate to separate ideas. Suggestion: Use natural phrases 'takes up too much time' and break long sentences into clearer parts. Remove sentence-ending conjunctions like 'so'.