Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more accurate in tense and subject usage, avoid repetition, and give a clearer topic sentence with one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, start with a clear past-tense sentence, then add a brief reason and a specific memory.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my parents for family bonding, and we would have picnics and play games together, which helped us grow closer.

Sugestão: Your answer is relevant and gives reasons, but avoid small hesitations and unfinished sentences. Use linking words (for example, 'also' or 'in addition') and give one specific example of how parks help you. Keep sentences concise (max 4–5 sentences).

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks because they help me clear my mind when I'm stressed. For example, walking among trees calms me and lets me think more clearly, so I can plan my next steps in work or study.

Sugestão: Good clear opinion and reason. Improve vocabulary (use 'green spaces' instead of 'greeneries') and add a specific benefit or comparison to support your view. Use a linking phrase to strengthen coherence.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. Currently green spaces are scarce in my city, so I would like to see more parks instead of dense new developments, because they improve air quality and provide places for people to relax and exercise.

Sugestão: Be more specific about the park and what activities you would like to do there. Avoid vague phrases like 'a lot of things' and explain why the people there matter. Use linking words to make the answer flow.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit Fuji Park in Japan. Apart from its beautiful views of Mount Fuji, the park offers hiking trails and picnic areas, and the friendly atmosphere makes it easy to meet people and enjoy group activities.

× Yes, I do it.

✓ Yes, I did.

The examiner asked about childhood preference (past). The student used present simple 'do' which mismatches the past context. Use past simple 'did' to match 'Did you like'. Suggestion: Match verb tense to the question's time frame; for past habits use 'did' or 'used to'.

× He tends to build the relationship that I have with them.

✓ It helped build the relationships I had with them.

Pronoun 'He' is unclear and incorrect for referring to 'family bonding time'. Also tense and subject do not match context (past). Change to 'It' referring to spending time, use past tense 'helped' and plural 'relationships' for multiple family members. Suggestion: Use clear antecedents (it for activities) and match tense and number to context.

× If I'm stressed, it helps me alleviate the stress that I'm feeling.

✓ If I'm stressed, going to the park helps me alleviate my stress.

The original repeats 'stress' and uses vague 'it' without clear antecedent. Rewriting specifies the activity 'going to the park' as the subject and uses concise phrase 'alleviate my stress'. Suggestion: Avoid redundancy and make the subject explicit for clarity.

× It also helps me focus on what's going to be my next move on to what's.

✓ It also helps me focus on what my next move will be.

Original sentence is fragmented and includes extra filler 'on to what's'. Reorder to form a complete clause: 'what my next move will be'. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary words and ensure the clause completes the thought.

× Yes, nowadays it's very rare to find a park in the city, so I would definitely love to see a lot more greeneries in the area rather than a lot of buildings.

✓ Yes, nowadays it's very rare to find parks in the city, so I would definitely love to see a lot more green spaces in the area rather than so many buildings.

Use plural 'parks' when speaking generally. 'Greeneries' is not standard; use 'green spaces'. Also change 'a lot of buildings' to 'so many buildings' for natural comparison. Suggestion: Use standard collocations (green spaces) and pluralize when making general statements.

× Yes, there is this one park in Japan.

✓ Yes, there is one park in Japan that I'd like to visit.

Sentence is grammatically possible but slightly informal and vague. Clarify intention by adding 'that I'd like to visit' to answer the question about future visits. Suggestion: Add purpose or context when referring to a specific place in response to a future question.

× You can actually do a lot of things in there that would definitely benefit not just yourself but also for everyone.

✓ You can actually do a lot of things there that would definitely benefit not just yourself but everyone.

Do not use 'in there' with 'there' in this context; use 'there' alone. Also remove 'for' after 'but' in the correlative construction 'not just ... but everyone'. Suggestion: Use 'there' without 'in' and keep parallel structure in 'not just A but B'.