Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add 1–2 specific supporting details. Avoid irrelevant or confused words (e.g. "Paris" vs "parks") and reduce repetition. Use correct tense and simple linking words like "because" or "and" to connect ideas.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I often visited them with my family. For example, we would play games on the grass and have picnics, which created many happy memories. Those visits made parks a special place for me.

Sugestão: Answer directly then explain briefly with clear reasons. Use correct word forms and simple linking words ("because", "so"). Reduce filler words like "probably" and avoid repetition. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and give a concrete effect (how it helps you).

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and clear my mind. For example, sitting under a tree makes it easier for me to focus on my work and feel less stressed.

Sugestão: Begin with a clear yes/no and then provide specific reasons with concise language. Avoid repeating the same phrase and correct grammar (e.g. "reduce air pollution" not "reduce our air pollution and another how natural environmental problem"). Use linking words like "because" and "for example" and give one concrete benefit.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because green spaces improve air quality and provide places for people to exercise. For example, new parks could reduce pollution and encourage residents to walk or cycle more.

Sugestão: Give a direct answer and then add a specific detail or example. If you don't have a particular park in mind, say so clearly and mention what kinds of parks interest you (e.g. botanical gardens, national parks). Keep sentences short and coherent with linking words like "but" or "for example".

Exemplo: I don't have a single park in mind, but I want to visit many parks worldwide, especially national parks and botanical gardens. For example, I would love to see large national parks to experience nature and take long hikes.

× Yeah, actually I really enjoyed visiting Paris because Paris contain a lot of memories with my family or relative or friends actually like playing with with them or eating in there.

✓ Yeah, actually I really enjoyed visiting parks because they contain a lot of memories with my family, relatives, and friends; for example, playing with them or eating there.

The student used 'Paris' instead of 'parks' and mixed singular/plural and pronoun references. 'Paris contain' is incorrect: the subject and verb do not agree and 'Paris' seems to be a wrong word here; likely 'parks'. Use 'they' to refer to plural 'parks' and 'contain' should be 'contain' with plural subject. Also 'relative' should be plural 'relatives' and 'eating in there' is unnatural; use 'eating there'. Improve clarity by separating examples with commas and 'for example'.

× And because I used to I spend.

✓ And because I used to spend time there.

The sentence fragment lacks an object and has incorrect structure. 'I used to I spend' repeats subject and is ungrammatical. Use 'I used to spend time there' to express a habitual past action. This fixes singular/plural no issue but mainly sentence structure.

× Yeah, probably, yeah, because parks the place can you when you're can ease your own and just be by yourself because Parse helps me to concentrate, be concentrated and be not to worry about.

✓ Yeah, probably, because parks are places where you can relax and be by yourself; parks help me concentrate and stop worrying.

The original has missing 'are' after 'parks' and incorrect clause order. 'The place can you when you're can ease your own' is ungrammatical. Use 'parks are places where you can relax' to correctly use 'there/be' concept and relative clause. 'Parse' is a typo for 'parks'. 'Be concentrated' and 'be not to worry about' are incorrect; use 'help me concentrate' and 'stop worrying'.

× Yeah, because green parks means more green spaces and it really helps to our air pollution to reduce our air pollution and another how natural environmental problem and because the parks are helping us to.

✓ Yes, because green parks mean more green space and they really help reduce our air pollution and other environmental problems, and parks are helpful to us.

Subject-verb agreement: 'green parks means' should be 'green parks mean'. 'Green spaces' can be 'green space' as an uncountable noun. 'Helps to our air pollution to reduce our air pollution' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'help reduce our air pollution'. 'Another how natural environmental problem' is incorrect phrase; use 'other environmental problems'. Improve clarity and grammar by simplifying clauses and ensuring verbs agree with plural subjects.

× Actually, I want to visit though a lot of parks around the world and it's my dream and I'll and I don't have a special one that is really I'm passionate about, but I think I would find my own parks in the future.

✓ Actually, I want to visit a lot of parks around the world; it's my dream. I don't have a particular park I'm passionate about yet, but I think I will find one in the future.

The original has extra words ('though', 'and I'll and') and pronoun/quantity issues. 'A lot of parks' is fine, but 'a special one that is really I'm passionate about' is awkward; use 'a particular park I'm passionate about'. 'I would find my own parks' mixes conditional/modal use; since speaking about a future intention, use 'I will find one'. Cleaning filler words and correcting pronouns improves clarity.