Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and minor grammar errors (e.g., use past simple consistently and correct article use). Include a linking word to make the answer flow (e.g., “because” or “so”).

Exemplo: Not really. I rarely went to parks as a child because my parents worked long hours—my father was a driver and my mother ran a small trade business—so we usually stayed home or helped with their work.

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence and expand with one or two specific activities and a linking word. Avoid trailing conjunctions and add a short reason or frequency to make it more informative.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. I often go to the park to go running and to meet friends, because it is a convenient place for exercise and socialising.

Sugestão: Provide a clear topic sentence then give two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., “because” and “for example”). Reduce fillers like “umm” and vague phrases like “any other things.” Mention a concrete benefit to strengthen your answer.

Exemplo: Yes, I would. More parks would allow people to relax and enjoy nature—because I like green spaces and plants—and they also improve air quality and provide safe places for families to gather.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a short topic sentence and one clear explanation. Remove hesitations and repeated phrases. If you’ve already visited local parks, say whether you plan to visit new or distant parks in the future and give a reason.

Exemplo: Not really. I have visited most local parks in my city, so I don’t have any specific parks planned; however, I would like to visit larger national parks in Ethiopia in the future to see different landscapes and wildlife.

× No, I didn't go to parks when I was a kid because my family were like busy the whole time.

✓ No, I didn't go to parks when I was a kid because my family was busy the whole time.

The noun 'family' is a collective noun treated as singular in this context, so the singular verb 'was' should be used instead of 'were'. Also remove filler 'like' for clarity. Suggestion: treat collective nouns as singular (my family was) unless emphasizing individual members (my family were acting separately).

× I didn't go to parks when I was a kid.

✓ I didn't go to the park when I was a kid.

When speaking about visiting parks in general childhood context, using 'the park' or 'parks' can work, but here 'the park' is more natural to indicate the general activity of going to the park as a child. Use 'the park' to refer to the typical place one visits in childhood. If you mean multiple parks, say 'go to parks' with plural verbs and context.

× My dad is a driver and also my mom works in a trade so they were basically doing things of their own.

✓ My dad is a driver and my mom works in trade, so they were both busy with their own work.

Mixing present simple ('is', 'works') with past continuous phrasing ('were basically doing') is inconsistent. Keep tense consistent: describe parents' jobs in present simple and their being busy in past simple ('were busy') to match 'when I was a kid'. Use 'both' and 'with their own work' for clarity.

× Yeah, now I go to the parks.

✓ Yeah, now I go to the park.

Use 'the park' or no article depending on meaning. 'Go to the parks' implies multiple specific parks; speakers usually say 'go to the park' to mean visiting the local park regularly. Choose the article to match intended meaning.

× I enjoy running and also spending time with my friends and also.

✓ I enjoy running and spending time with my friends.

Sentence ends with redundant 'and also.' Remove the extra conjunction. Keep parallel gerund forms: 'running' and 'spending'. This improves fluency and grammatical parallelism.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because it's so enjoyable spending time in the parks and I am more connected to nature and I like umm the plants and any other things that are not the city vibes and our country is working on it so.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because it is enjoyable to spend time in parks; I feel more connected to nature and I like the plants and other things that are not urban. Our country is working on it.

Run-on sentence with unclear pronoun references and colloquial 'city vibes.' Use 'it is enjoyable to spend time' (formal infinitive structure), plural 'parks' for generality, and 'urban' instead of 'city vibes.' Break into clearer clauses and remove filler words like 'umm' and trailing 'so.'

× For now, I don't have those umm, I live in Ethiopia, so I almost went to all the parks that are available in here.

✓ For now, I don't have any. I live in Ethiopia, so I have visited almost all the parks that are available here.

Use 'any' for negative statements ('I don't have any'). 'In here' is awkward; use 'here.' Change 'almost went to' to present perfect 'have visited' to indicate experience up to now. Remove filler 'umm.'

× So I didn't go over there.

✓ So I haven't been to any others.

Student likely intends to say they have not visited other parks; use present perfect 'have not been' to express lack of experience up to now rather than past simple 'didn't go.' Also clarify 'over there' to 'any others.'

× Uh, I didn't, I didn't want to I don't have A to do list on the parks.

✓ I don't have a to-do list of parks.

Mixed tenses and broken structure make sentence unclear. Simplify to present simple 'I don't have a to-do list' and use lowercase 'a'. Use 'of parks' to specify the list's subject.

× I mean to call list. So yeah, that's all.

✓ I mean a call list. So yeah, that's all.

The phrase 'to call list' is unclear; if the student means 'call list' or 'to-do list' choose one. Here 'a call list' is grammatical. Also keep sentences concise and avoid trailing fillers.