Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing (e.g. “where my parents work with other parents”). Use correct grammar for past habits (used to) and remove irrelevant words.

Exemplo: Yes, I did. My parents used to take me to Xianghu Park near the market where they worked, and I enjoyed playing by the lake with other children.

Sugestão: Organize your answer: give a topic sentence and two clear reasons with linking words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. “places” not “phrases”) and improve grammar (present simple, and concise clauses). Avoid unclear names and repetition.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. I enjoy parks because they help me relax and connect with nature. In addition, my city has many parks nearby, which makes it easy to go for a walk or exercise.

Sugestão: Make the topic sentence direct and support it with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words (because, for example) and correct collocations (busy lives, fast pace). Keep the answer concise (max 5 sentences).

Exemplo: Yes, I would. Because people lead busy lives and face a fast pace, parks provide quiet spaces to relax and exercise; for example, a small neighborhood park would be ideal for families and office workers to unwind.

Sugestão: Clarify which parks you mean and use correct grammar to describe past visits and future intentions. Give one clear example (name the park) and explain why you want to visit it using linking words. Avoid confusing pronouns and broken sentences.

Exemplo: I would like to visit West Lake in Hangzhou in the future because I have heard a lot about its scenery. I used to go to Donghu Park in Wuhan, so I am curious to compare the two and enjoy the famous lakeside views.

× When I was a child, my parents usually took me to the Xianghu Park, which was nearby the market where my parents work with other parents.

✓ When I was a child, my parents usually took me to Xianghu Park, which was near the market where my parents worked with other parents.

Use 'near' not 'nearby' when describing the park's location with 'which was near the market'. Also correct tense: 'work' should be past tense 'worked' to match 'When I was a child'. Remove the definite article before a proper park name: 'Xianghu Park' not 'the Xianghu Park'. Suggestion: Use 'near' for location in relative clauses and keep verb tenses consistent.

× There are lots of phrases.

✓ There are lots of parks.

The student likely meant 'parks' not 'phrases'. This is a word choice error causing sentence meaning to be wrong. Use the correct noun 'parks'. Suggestion: Proofread for similar-sounding words and ensure vocabulary matches context.

× First because I was person who really enjoyed the connection with nature because I can really relax.

✓ First, I was a person who really enjoyed connecting with nature because I could really relax.

Sentence needed reordering and correct verb forms. Add article 'a' before 'person'. Use 'connecting' (gerund) after 'enjoyed' and past modal 'could' to match the past context. Also add a comma after 'First'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and use gerund after 'enjoyed'.

× Second, because there are lots of parks such as nearby such as Don't worry parks Xianghua Parks and.

✓ Second, there are many parks nearby, such as Donghu Park and Xianghu Park.

Original sentence has pronoun and word-order confusion and incorrect park names. Use 'many' instead of 'lots of' for variety and 'nearby' after the noun. Correct park names to plausible forms 'Donghu Park' and 'Xianghu Park'. Remove stray phrases like 'Don't worry'. Suggestion: List examples clearly with 'such as' followed by correct names.

× Today people are in busy life and take fast pace and people really need some space like parks to get relaxed.

✓ Today people have busy lives and live at a fast pace, so they really need spaces like parks to relax.

Use 'have busy lives' not 'are in busy life'. 'Take fast pace' is incorrect; use 'live at a fast pace'. Use plural 'spaces' to match 'people' and 'to relax' (infinitive) for purpose. Combine clauses with 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: Use natural collocations (have a busy life, live at a fast pace) and parallel plural forms.

× Maybe she who Parks, because I lived in Wuhan and there Donghu Pass, which I really like and I usually go to there and see who Parks is in Hangzhou.

✓ Maybe Donghu Park, because I lived in Wuhan and there is Donghu Park, which I really like, and I usually go there; I also want to see parks in Hangzhou.

Original has many pronoun and word-order errors: 'she who Parks' is meaningless. Use correct place name 'Donghu Park'. Insert 'is' in 'there is Donghu Park'. Use 'go there' not 'go to there'. Clarify intent about Hangzhou parks with 'I also want to see parks in Hangzhou'. Suggestion: Keep place names clear, use 'there is' for existence, and use 'go there' for motion to a place.

× So I really like to I'm really expected.

✓ So I am really looking forward to it.

Original mixes present and incorrect phrasing. Use the idiomatic future-oriented phrase 'looking forward to' to express expectation. 'I'm really expected' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: Use common expressions like 'looking forward to' to express future anticipation.